VIDEO: 4th Month Update!

I was dead tired but I made a video! Just a little update for all my peeps! 

Grace and Peace! 

I

"I Lived"

I am not an expert...on anything! Haha.

I do more listening than I do talking and that is the basis for most of my knowledge and experience. Sadly enough...

Hearing is great and listening is even better! When listening, however, becomes the substitute for action (therefore, experience) I have made a critical error.

I have spent the majority of my life listening, but very little of it talking or doing.

They say actions speak louder than words, but no one wants to point out the risks of action. Action always takes a measure of risk since you can never be 100% as to the results and/or success of your actions.

When I do speak, I want my teaching to be more than experiences I've taken from others! No, I want those experiences shared to be mingled (if not primarily) with that which I have lived!

As most people know, I am an avid OneRepublic listener! And one of their songs that continually moves me is "I Lived." Listen to it real quick!

I don't want to just hear these words. I want them to reflect my reality! I want to live life well and I want to be a catalyst in a broken world. I don't really know how to do that yet, but I'm going to start by testing the waters and going out and "doing."

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Love is Red

I think I'm beginning to understand why Love is associated with the color red. Many might say that it's because red is associated with passion and strong emotion, but I think it's because it is red that pours from our broken skin; that rushes through the inner most parts of our being. It is the color that takes life to our limbs and when the red flees our flesh...so do our souls.

It was red that cried for vengeance out the ground after Cain went on his merry way to continue in his hatred and depravity. It was red that cried out for our forgiveness as Christ gave Himself over to suffering and pain to be our payment. 

No, love is red because it can be measured in how much blood you are willing to lose before leaving, and no great love is there than this: that a man should lay down his life for his friends. 

Keep it Sacred

We hear a lot about "seperation of church and state", but we never talk about the seperation of church and sabbath. The two are often thought of in conjunction with one another, and though this is not necessarily a bad thing, we as humans often take it too far and begin to create rules, standards, and expectations that are not biblically founded and are sometimes harmful. 

For me, Sabbath starts on Tuesday morning and ends on Wednesday night, It is the time in which I am able to get away, rest, seek God and holy community, and to worship God through the appreciation and love of His creation. Why?

I have a crazy job! I work 80 hour weeks taking care of 26 teenagers and encouraging them towards wholeness and quality of life. Basically, I am a 24 year old playing "big brother", youth pastor, and protector.  INSANE!

Sadly, one aspect of my job is that I work Sundays and take kids to church. Now, don't get me wrong, I love taking my kids to church! I am, however, still working and having to give the majority of my attention to what they are doing rather than to the service, and I don't get to be involved in the community itself for a variety of reasons. When the service is over it's back to watching kids, giving meds, cooking dinner, stopping fights, etc. etc. etc. 

My Sundays are 0% restful...

So how does one reconcile the need to keep sabbath with a "Christian" job that demands one's Sunday to be work? Does Sabbath have to be on a certain day of the week for it to count or for God to be pleased? Does Sabbath have to be taken somewhere between 6 pm on Friday and midnight on Sunday for it to be counted as Holy or Sacred? I think not. Perhaps the church has severly legalized Sabbath and, as a result, not kept it holy...

I maintain a constistent connection to Christian community. In fact, I am living in the midst of one! The  aspect of Sabbath I am not getting on a daily basis is rest. That's what my "mid-week Sabbath" is all about right now: rest. I need rest, relaxation, and the chance to get away from home. Why? Because I don't go to work...I live there! I can't seperate home from work becasue they are one and the same. My life now revolves around the house of teens and young adults.

Therefore, my Sabbath is about adventure, escape, and being myself. It is a time to work on art projects, see movies, drink coffee, and to do all the things that I enjoy and make me...well, me! 

Sabbath is sleeping in! It is going to book stores and local coffee shoppes, eating breakfast with friends, and playing flashlight tag or volleyball! Sabbath is rest and it is freedom. Sabbath is my chance to take care of myself rather than 26 teens, to seek God's presence and restoration, and to love myself as much as I am loving others. 

Sabbath has become more than just a Sunday morning ritual. It is now a way of life and a means of survival. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Where's the Time Gone?

Time...

I have none!

Well, I have some. I didn't expect to be working so many hours a week. Truthfully, I only expected to be working 40 (as do most who hear the words "full-time"), but when it came down to it I didn't complain about having to work twice the time. No, I only regretted that I didn't have more time for other things.

Yet I misuse the time I have!

When I was home I had so much time at my disposal. No I'm missing the time I had and often am too tired to use the time I have.

Being 24 is a bit of a sucker punch. I'm stuck between feeling old and young (yes, I know that I am still technically young) and these leads to conflicts within my soul.

What can I pursue? What SHOULD I pursue?!

Here are the things that I'm putting on the top of my list of priorities for when I'm off:

Prayer and Mediation - I can't serve or live a healthy life without this. This is first and foremost a priority for my Spiritual, emotional, and mental health.

Exercise - I plan on doing more physical training. While this is already increasing for me, I wish to make further effort to bring wholeness to myself in this manner. Physical training is a significant part of further mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I care little about being able to lift the most, and more about being able to use my body efficiently in time of crises.

Reading - How can I teach or grow in my own academia if I don't read?! This will be a bit more of challenge in the midst of my time crunch since reading takes a great deal of concentration and dedication.

Extra - This is where I begin to wrestle with myself. What belongs here?! I have my art projects, my ocarina, I enjoy writing, and I have a couple languages that I want to learn. I can't do everything though and I have to narrow it down to one of the following!

I am learning something very important a midst all of this. Time can not be regained, and no matter how much I may want a "do-over" I will never get it. Therefore, the worst thing I can do is waste more time mourning the past and the time that was lost. Instead I should see the time I have and make use of the present by learning from my mistakes and making the change now before I find myself at 42 rather than 24 and still wishing I had done all that I had listed above.

I have given a year of my time to pour into the lives of teens that don't necessarily care that I'm here or care about them. Time is a gift and it one that I give freely because I know that this is something worth giving my time towards. Yes, there are other things I wish I could do alongside the time spent watching the kids, but ultimately I know that 80 or so hours I spend with my teens is going to have a greater impact than the time I could be spending reading or spent on personal gain.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Out Of Tune

Life is hectic! It seems like I'm always on the go and trying to accomplish some task or another. Half the time I haven't got a clue if I'm doing things right and I'm having to submit myself to a great deal of trial and error.

My spiritual life is no different. I am continually striving for greater spiritual growth and maturity, and I often do not feel that I'm living a life that pleases God. I am essentially stating that I am sub-par, valueless, displeasing to, and unloved by God. Yet I hold this double standard that God loves the very person I believe to be the worst and lowest of humanity. Messed up, no?

This is a significant lie that is interwoven into my thought processes. That is indeed what it is: a LIE. 

Sunday I was driving the school van and taking a handful of our kids to a local church. On the way there, my friend/co-worker reached over and turned on the radio to a local Christian station. As the music filled the car, I noticed something else along side the voice of the artist. It was the sound of one of my students sitting behind me; singing out confidently along with the radio. His voice cracked, he sang out of tune, and he didn't know half of the words but that didn't stop him from trying to sing every single line. With every error and with every inaccurate note I found myself smiling more and more as joy filled my heart. 

Then the Spirit struck my heart. 

I could hear the Spirit saying, "This is the joy I feel every day with you. I don't care that you sing it wrong, just keep singing." 

We have a goal that we strive for, but the truth is that we are human and we fail. In the words of Denzel Washington in the movie The Equalizer, "Progress...not perfection." 

Everyday we live out our lives in a struggle to overcome our brokenness and pain, every stumbling along the path to healing. Christ walks with us and listens as we, mere babes in the faith, seek to mutter the language of life and redemption; as we move from a crawl to a run. He does not look down on us with contempt at our stumbling over words or our tripping over our own feet. No, He looks upon us with great joy at every failed attempt because every failure means a lesson learned and an attempt made toward holiness. 

So keep singing out of tune. Sing out at the top of your lungs every misplaced note and mutter every forgotten word! Sing until you can hear the pitch changes and until the rhythm of holiness and grace have been integrated into your very soul. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Is It Forgiveness?

Despite the popular belief among many Christians today, forgiveness is not a simple action for anyone. While most will admit that it isn't easy, forgiveness is simplified to the action of declaring the offender is "forgiven."

This is not forgiveness. It is only a fraction of it. Sadly, It is also something that I believed for the majority of my life.

I've heard it said many times that "forgiveness is not for the forgiven, but for the forgiver." This used to strike me as deeply profound and I found freedom in this statement.

It is, however, only a half-truth.

Looking at Christ as our example of real forgiveness, forgiveness isn't so one-sided. Applying the above statement to our relationship to God, I find it difficult to say that forgiveness is for God and not for us.

 I’m not going to kid you: forgiveness is hard. Releasing someone from the responsibility for an offense against you is counter-intuitive. Why would I want to let someone off the hook? The anser is: you don't. I don't either! Offenses happen becasue of sin, and unforgiveness and the resual to reconcile is of sin as well!

Forgiveness in its entirety contains the willingness to attempt restitution as well as to reconcile with the other party. For us, to "forgive as [Christ] forgives us", we must seek to rebuild the relationship if possible. Christ doesn't just say "Ok, I forgive you. Go on with your life, we don't need to talk anymore." He says, "Come to me and let us be known to each other."

I know, I know...we can't always do the reconciling work of build a relationship. Distance and death often prevent that, and that's ok. In those instances we do what can be done: make an emotional and mental declaration that you aren't going to hold on to the "debt" that is owed you by that person. Perhaps an honest prayer of telling God, "Hey, I don't hold that against them anymore. Can you help me heal and to go on even though I can't reconcile with them?" is in order.

But that leaves me with the question: Is it truly forgiveness if there is no admittance of being wrong or repentance?

The New Testament sure doesn't seem to say so. In fact, our being forgiven by God is dependent upon our responding to His calling us out on sin and repenting of that sin. He come in humility and ask for forgiveness and THEN Christ forgives. It is the first step to reconciling us to our God. Anything other than that is simply not holding a grudge or letting things get to you.

I fail at this. I fail at confronting an offender and telling him/her "Hey! You hurt me! You did *insert offense* and that's not cool!" I hate confrontation and I hate letting people off the hook from what they have done.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

I Am Clay

The last 6 weeks of my life have been a whirlwind! I feel a great need to rest and to process all that has happened in my life since I started my job in the residential field. God has built me up and then broken me back down again, and now I sense Him building me back up.

For the first time in my life the Scriptural metaphor of the Potter and the Clay has become something I can deeply relate to. I'm being torn down and remade like the clay in the hands of a Potter. I feel it within my soul and I see it in my daily life. I'm being made new.

As I sat in the boy's lodge today writing away on one of my weekly reports, I felt overwhelmed at the realization of how much I've changed. I've changed in way that I had hoped and in so many ways I never expected. I pray that God gives me strength and continues to do this work in me as I live out my life and seek to give life to the dead, peace to those at war with themselves, and truth to those have known nothing but lies.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Encouraged by Frustration

"You can't save them you know." 

These words echoed in my soul for hours. I had no idea that as I walked into the dining hall that I would stumble into a conversation with one of the campus counselors. I also did not know that I would be talking about my soul rather than those of my Littles. I did not know that in a brief moment of conversation that I would have my defenses and masks swept away and that I would be left to deal the reality of my limitations and, ultimately, leave encouraged and affirmed.

This was neither the first, nor the last, spontaneous conversation of encouragement and honest that I received this past week. Even though I did not want to be exposed and to become unraveled, it was necessary for my heart and health so that I might persevere. 

My frustrations over the last couple days, as the counselor noted, were not out of petty thinking or sin or out of being a failure. They were, in fact, a result of good things. I have poured myself out and I have given myself in full to the task at hand; to helping teens and to loving them with all that I have. This past week, however, has been full of negative events and a great deal of "firsts" that I wasn't expecting and that I had not the time to process. So naturally I felt the tension and frustration that came with, what appeared to be, regression. 

"Just walk with them. Take care of yourself, and continue to love them."

I told the counselor of the things that I was dealing with and how I felt like I was not succeeding in my task to love them well. Additionally, I shared my concerns about where I was lacking and how much I hated that my limitations and how I was quickly all these limitations. To which she responded, in loving sarcasm, "Oh, you're human? You can't work here. Sorry, only super-humans can be Bigs" Oh man! Talk about getting a slap of reality! No one is perfect, and being down or frustrated not a bad thing. For me, it become the evidence of my working hard and of my giving my all. In the midst of giving my all, however, I forgot that I'm not Superman. 

"Just walk through life with them."

Christ doesn't call us to be perfect. He calls us to love and to seek Him. He calls us to walk alongside the hurting as the take this journey called Life and to say "Hey, I love you and God loves you. Don't quit." You don't have to be perfect to do that. There is room to be frustrated and to make mistakes and that...that is encouraging.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"As Those Long Dead"

At some point in my teenage years I decided to read Lamentations just because it was there (and because I couldn't recall ever reading it). I had no idea what I was about to read. At the time I was painfully unaware of the definition of "lament", nor had I practiced such an action as lamenting to God. I wasn't quite connecting with the book until I began the 3rd chapter.

"He causes me to dwell in darkness as those long dead..."

-Lamentations 3:6

As a read the words that spoke of pain and suffering; the expressions of feeling abandoned by God, I began to cry. The words resonated in my soul and I ceased reading before I finished the chapter. These were the darkest words that I had ever read outside of my own prayer journal, and they were in the Bible! What was I to think of this? Was I reading it right? How could there be scriptures of such pain and misery?

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

-Lamentations 3:21-23

The Orthodox have a belief that the life of the believer is one of rhythms and patterns. We go through time of Darkness - and that Darkness can be overwhelming at times! - but it placed in our paths to lead us out of self-destruction and sin; to strengthen us and lead us in to deeper knowledge of God and into states of holiness. Yes, it is painful to walk in shadow and to feel as though God has abandoned you, but He will not let it last forever. Faith, Hope and Love at the gifts that God grants those who ask, and these gifts are the tool that get us through! 

"Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil..."

-Psalm 23:4

Walk through the Shadows; stay in the Light.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Still Learning

Often when I go through an experience, I walk away having learned something. I turn around and I have a blog post within a day or two about what I learned about the experience, but I never follow up weeks and months down the road with what I am still learning. Sometimes I don't continue to learn from an experience. In fact, I too often finish my blog and then consider the lesson learned and move on. 

        It is an injustice....

If I don't make the most out each mistake then I am not treating the experience with respect. I am depriving myself of growth and transformation if I don't let my experiences continue to shape and mold me into a better man. The fact is... 

                                                               ...I know better...

And I have the ability and responsibility of learning all I can from each new experience; from every trial and from every mistake. The knowing better only makes it even worse that I don't follow through with my experiences. I don't want to be doomed to give immediate, unprocessed, and non-fermented advice just to turn around and repeat my error. This is not only an injustice to myself, it is also and injustice to those who I cross paths with throughout my life. I see my error...

                                                                                                                       ...and I apologize.

Life done well requires learning. It requires trial and error. I pray that this is something that I can hold on to; that I can continue to remember in the years that God grants me so I might glean knowledge to my fullest ability and be able to present myself as a living sacrifice. To be humble in all matters and teachable that I might in return teach others what I've learned. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen 

Cleaning Up When You've Messed Up

One can gain a great deal of knowledge and life experience from choosing to live with thirty or more males in intentional community. When two-thirds of that group, however, did not choose to be a part of the community as you did...experience is infinite! 

I've officially completed two weeks at Shelterwood (one full week as a full fledged Big) and I've already learned a few things that I know that I will carry with me long past the completion of my contract, but will also have to re learn a few times while I'm here.

You will make mistakes!

Yesterday I found myself in my first power struggle with one of my boys...and it sucked! It got me no where and only made him angrier than he already was. I knew he was angry and yet I pushed for answers and refused to leave till I had. Thankfully, I only made this error for about thirty seconds, but it was thirty seconds of me being a "King James Donkey!" A house director came in and took over and the teen opened up and de-escalated.

                                                             Admit when you're wrong!

I messed up. I pushed and I pulled when I should have given him the time to cool off. Additionally, I didn't have the relationship with him to confront him or talk it out. I remember being a teen and having adults trying to force words out of me and not caring about my feeling sad or angry or depressed. I was pushed further into defense mode as a result and felt less and less safe with each occurrence. 

I later approached him concerning the matter and apologized for my being stubborn and for pushing so hard. We're cool now, but if I had never taken the time to reach out and admit my being wrong he and I would be far from ok. By manning up and confessing my error I took a relationship from distorted to being better than it was before the altercation. 

Don't expect the same courtesy!

Even though I apologized, I didn't get an apology in return, but that's ok! I didn't expect one. It was my responsibility to own up to my mistakes. He may not have said it with words, but he expressed it in action. Sometimes that is something you just have live with. Long before I came here, I came to the conclusion that a forced apology is an insincere apology and I want nothing to do with those. Apologies come in may shapes and forms, just learning to accept them. 

Furthermore, being willing to accept the reality that you might give kindness and love to someone and they might never show it back is just a part of the Christian life. Love given with the expectation of love returned is a conditional love. We are called to be better than bearers of conditional love. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"Troubles" by Stephen Green II

They say troubles come in three’s;
I say troubles grow on trees.

Smoke billows ‘round weeping willows
All is silent on the tear-stained pillow.
In a young man’s room, where shadows promise comfort,
The loneliness of the Middle dampens every effort
To be more than just a byproduct of lust and desire;
To be more than a pawn’s head placed upon a spire.

They say troubles come in three’s
I say troubles grow on trees.

Shelters are prisons and forts are cages;
Punishments plus smiles are offered as wages.
Insensitively screaming “You think you got the stuff?!”
To the boy that dared to say “Dad, that’s enough!”
Other-worldly strength hidden behind weakness.
The strength of a man behind involuntary meekness.

They say troubles comes in three’s
I say troubles grow on trees.

Yet there’s hope in the strain
And priceless is the gain
When one survives the storm
And goes against the norm.
For a man most succeeds
When troubles grow on trees.

Falling into Friendship

When I was living in Knoxville I started attending Apostle's Anglican Church (mainly because it was extremely close to my apartment). While I had been exploring Anglicanism for a while, I shied away from being apart of an Anglican community because all of my friends were going that direction theologically. I wanted to make sure I wasn't just following them. For a while I explored a couple of the larger churches known for their worship, teaching, and ministries...but I always found myself lacking the community that I so desperately wanted.

While I eventually settled and joined a church, I began to grow weary. I felt that God was leading me to live in a more sacramental environment and that I was drawn to a liturgical setting more than ever. Finally I caved.

Thank God.

Liturgical and structured worship fed my hungry soul in a way I had never experienced. Contrary to some of the things I learned a child, It was not dry and stale, nor was lacking freedom or Spirit. No, surprisingly I found liberty in the structure. But more than that, I was blessed with friendship and community. I'm really not sure how or when it happened, but I woke up one day and found myself with relationships with others in this church.

I found people who actually cared.

I found love.

With this love, it began a journey to grow in my faith greater that I ever expected. From...

Recently, I felt God drawing me away from my community to commit to intentional community in Kansas City, MO. I came with expectations of struggle and even loneliness. I had no idea what really to expect other than that it would be difficult and forming. But, happily something else happened: I fell into friendship.

I never would have thought that I'd get this close to a group of complete strangers so quickly. While we all come from a dozen different places and us all having incredibly unique personalities, we connected.

And it started with a hello and it was solidified with a "let's pray."

That first night we gathered at the gazebo to pray about the coming year. It was in that moment that the Spirit opened us all up to the beauty of community and life in shared space and shared mission. it was evident in our words and in our love for another that Christ had called us there for Him and each other

I have no doubt that, like all communities, there will be times where we will want to kill each other, but that's natural. But the love of Christ is supernatural.

Friendship will endure.

Looking back I can see where I've always found friendship in this way: by stumbling across it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Saying "So Long" to the South!

As many of you know, I have moved out of Tennessee! The last month has been a whirlwind of events, phone calls, writing, paperwork, travel, and learning! I now find myself dwelling in the bowels of the Midwest (a.k.a Kansas City, MO). What would make me move half way across the country on such a short notice you ask?

Well that is a bit of a loaded answer...

In March of this year I received an email from my professor at Bryan College informing me of an open position, as well as future plans to hire in May and August, at this place called Shelterwood. For over a year I had been living in Knoxville seeking God and wrestling through my passions and desires; trying to come to a final conclusion as what vocation I wanted to pursue. That's an overly simplified description of my reasons for being in Knoxville, but that would be the general overview. In the midst of my wrestling, receiving this email was a bit of unexpected event. I prayed about it, but kept shying away from pursuing the job due to uncertainty and self-questioning.

After wrestling through these things and continually being brought back to Shelterwood, I sat down with a dear friend of mine and shared my heart with him on the matter. Afterwards he gave me the words I needed to be able to move forward with my desire to apply: encouragement. I applied, and now I'm in Missouri!

Here is a video I took while driving up!

So why Shelterwood? Shelterwood is a therapeutic boarding school for teens experiencing all sorts of life struggles. Me? I'm a Big Brother/Direct Care Staff. My job is do life with them, get to know them, love them, protect them, hear their voices, and to share in their deepest pains and greatest joys! Easy? Heeeeckk no! but this is what I have chosen. It called to me, pulled at the deepest places of my soul and demanded my attention for months. This job is more than just a job. It is pushing me far outside the realms of comfort and ease; it is the place that God has drawn me to and has already had a significant affect on me as an individual! In just one week I've already seen God do some amazing thing in me, the kids, and the other "Bigs".

It has been difficult to give up my favorite coffee shops and hang outs, to leave my closest friends behind, and to take such a huge leap of faith into the void of uncertainty, but I know that I am where I belong and that after my year-long contract has ended that I'll be a completely different person and that God is going to make me even more into the man He designed me to be.

So here is to year of learning, purging, and growing. To learning the depth of love, grace, charity, and community.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

#ResponseEpicFail

A few days ago a friend of mine posted an article on Facebook for me to mull over and share my thoughts about. The article was a response to the #LikeAGirl ad campaign. I shared the ad on Facebook because I supported the message and never thought someone would respond in such an overtly negative fashion. Oh was I wrong...

In his article "#LikeAGirl Cashes In On Womens' Insecurities," Rich Cromwell addresses what he believes are major issues with the ad campaign: it is a "smart and reasonably entertaining campaign;" the campaign suggests "that girls are too sensitive to handle anodyne playground taunts;" and "Always is selling women products made specifically for women by claiming that men and women are totally the same."

"Making that money!"

It's possible, likely in fact, that Always only cares about money. Most companies exist because of it...most politicians exist because of it! It is incredibly presumptuous of Mr. Cromwell to say that this campaign is merely "cashing in on Women's insecurities."

Even if the sole motivation for the campaign is profit, the ad still delivers a message of vital importance. Also, just because the ad uses actors in front of a camera, doesn't make it any less true. Cromwell’s response is an unnecessary statement about the intent of the company and the people behind the campaign and is purely ad hominem.

Personally, I found it refreshing to see a company addressing an issue like this. The brand name was mentioned but didn't detract from the message. It did not give off the impression that the products were going to "save women" or that a woman has to rely on their merchandise to achieve beauty or acceptance (as many make-up commercials do).

"It's just an insult. Get over it."

Mr. Cromwell brushes the insults off as playful banter even though he actually calls them insults. I would imagine that Cromwell would be a big advocate for the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Most people have begun to realize that this old phrase, invented with the intent of helping kids cope with bullying and verbal oppression from peers, has only proven to keep kids from addressing the issue.

Honestly, I thought that journalists (and the non-government populous) had moved past the belief that sweeping things under the rug was a viable option for dealing with life. The ad isn't suggesting "that girls are too sensitive to handle anodyne playground taunts and need hygiene companies to save them." No, it's actually saying that girls are tough, as opposed to the ongoing insults used to motivate boys to act, play, work, or speak a certain way.

While the author suggests that such things aren't going to affect the way his girls act and live out their lives, his little "experiment" at the end of his article proves nothing about his thesis. His "experiment" is pointless and here is why:

1. Context. There is a difference between a father calmly saying "Hey, punch this couch like a girl" and the obviously demeaning tone of a boy (or another parent or P.E. teacher) telling another boy that he "______ like a girl!" 
2. Lack of observation over time. His one time may do nothing, but consistent exposure is what causes a true effect on the mind and soul of a human being. For Mr. Cromwell to really be able to do an honest experiment, he would have to risk involvement from the DHS.  
3. Recognition of Psycho-Social Development. Recognizing, and understanding, the mind of child makes a huge difference in how we approach something. We are adults, therefore our minds are more developed and we see the world in different. We often, as a result, forget what it is like to be a child and to hear and think like a child. Peers are going to have a completely different impact on a child's life than the parent is and that needs to be recognized. 

"Boy's will be boys!"

Let's look at the bigger picture for a second. The problem is not just the use of term "like a girl." It is the mindset we are developing in our children's minds. Apart from insulting girls, we are subconsciously developing the way boys view women. I'm not going to go to the extreme and say that statements like these lead to higher occurrences of rape, but we are fooling ourselves if we say it doesn't have an affect on the way men view women or that it doesn't contribute to sexism in some way.

Additionally, we create false concepts of "manhood" for our boys to strive towards. Again, we have to look at this with the understanding of lifespan development. Children think and process differently than adults. In their early teens they begin to think abstractly, but usually by the time they reach that level the damage has already been done. We often deprive males of a beautiful, God-given tool for processing life: emotions. Furthermore, we add to the insecurities found in adult males when we demean and degrade them as boys.

Forget the term "like a girl" for just a moment and think about how we talk to boys in general. No, I'm not suggesting that we be mushy and say crap like "everyone's a winner." Everyone is most certainly not a winner! There are people who lose, and our kids need to know that. Our kids need to learn to be tough because life is tough, but at the same time we don't need to totally destroy them. Yelling, screaming, and pumping our kids full of toxic speech and behavior may make them tougher, but it also may be a significant factor to our suicide rates.

I realize that what I'm saying leaves a lot of questions about what is and is not harmful/acceptable. I don't claim to be an expert on the subject, but I do know the pain and hurt that comes from parenting full of hateful words and toxic speech and I know that we as a culture can do better...and without making a pendulum swing.

"We are the same!"

I wanted to quickly address the author's statement about the company suggesting men and women are the same. They are most certain not the same, and I don't believe that the ad suggests that they are. Honestly, I feel like Mr. Cromwell read too much into the commercial. The ad isn't breaking down gender differences or gender roles, it's addressing a social issue.

My Personal Opinion...

Quite frankly, I found Mr. Cromwell's entire article completely insulting. By the end of the article, I wasn't even sure that he had watched the whole video. It was a poor response that was highly insensitive, illogical, uninformed, and full of ad hominem, and it completely undermined the message of the campaign. Basically, it seemed more like an attempt to take a shot at a companies' intent and reputation than to give an honest response. I was severely disappointed by what I read.


Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"When Life Gives You Lemons..."

There is an old saying that goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" The problem is that this metaphor breaks down pretty quickly; unless life also gives you sugar and water then you are pretty much just making lemon juice (a.k.a. you're screwed). The meaning is to take a bad situation and make it good. Better yet, profit from it! What do you do, however, when bad things happen and you can't find the bright side? What happens when you can't turn a profit?

The fact is that when you face tragedy or despair, sometimes you can't just "make lemonade." What is the bright side of a miscarriage? Of a family members death? Of a marriage gone up in flames? These are things that plague our lives and we struggle and fight to smile through these circumstances. Yes, God may use these to grow us and to make us better/holier, but is that reality enough to make us smile? Should it? Should we be able to look at death in the face and say "I'm happy because I know God will use this for my good!"? I'm not so sure that that is what is supposed to be our reaction to struggle.

Anger, sadness/sorrow are emotions that God gave us as gifts to understand the world around us and to process reality. Yet we so often reject these emotions as being holy and pure, writing them off as sinful or as signs of spiritual lacking. "Have faith" some say, and others, "go pray!", but I see few who acknowledge the legitimacy of one's emotions and their role in life. So what do we do?

God called Israel to lament and to mourn. He led His people to have these seasons, and we as the new Israel must do the same. Lent is a set season of lament and mourning, but there are times of intentional lamenting that take place throughout the course of our lives and it is a act we need to more fully embrace, while also not letting it drown us.

What I'm saying is that you can't always make lemonade. Sometimes you just have to drink the lemon juice.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Healthier Environments

This past week I started a second part time job which has definitely added to the craziness of my weekly schedule! I know work as a retail associate in a clothing department store AND a Christian book/music/apparel/knick-knack store. I never imagined myself working in a Christian store, though I suppose it makes more sense than my working in a clothing store! I was a little hesitant about going into another retail job, but I decided that I was going to give it a shot and face it head on; upon doing so I have found myself pleasantly surprised by the difference.

There is a quote from the movie The Departed that goes, "I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me." I deeply love this quote and I reflect these words in my heart, the fact of the matter that even if we live in such a way as to not be driven by our surroundings, we are still highly influenced by them. That being said, I have noticed a significant difference in the environments of the two place of employment. One is incredibly stress-filled, unrewarding, and toxic, while the other is relaxed, cooperative, and encouraging.

The reason for this lies in the philosophies of the owners/CEO's of the two businesses, and there policies on "employee service". One cares nothing about their employees and is more than willing to throw them under the bus for the sake of "numbers" and does not care about the overall health of the company, but rather focuses on the profits to the point of creating policies that will ultimately leave the store in ruins. The Christian bookstore, however, takes the needs of their employees and their customers much more seriously. They take the time to recognize the strengths of their employees. They create a work environment that utilizes teamwork rather than creating an atmosphere of "competition" and encouraging sale-sharking.

The fact is that environment is one of the key elements in our growth and development. It is the job of business owners and employers to create the healthiest environment possible for their employees, as it is also the task of parents to provide the healthiest environment for their children, and a priest for his parish. The environment that we live in will always affect us, no matter how strong-willed we are.

I am incredibly grateful that God has provide me with this realization and for a place that provides a healthier environment for me to work and to grow. I hope that soon I will be able to completely remove the unhealthy environment from my life.

I would encourage any who read this to please, examine your life and ask yourself "Am I in a healthy environment?" and if not "Can I change this and make my environment healthier?" If you fond that you are unable to make your environment healthy...then perhaps it's time for a move (literally or metaphorically). There is a time to stand and a time to run, and the hard part is knowing the difference.

Grace and Wisdom,

Stephen

Tattooed Encouragement

Encouragement can come from the strangest of places. Lately I have found myself incredibly discouraged and overwhelmed with the many aspects of my life. New challenges (and a couple old ones) are presenting themselves in my life. I find myself incredibly frustrated with myself and life, and I return to the age of old question "God, what are you doing in all of this?"

God doesn't always give us an answer, and when He does He may be so incredibly vague that we doubt it was Him or we become angry for Him not giving straight answers. I know that this is especially true for my life. God doesn't give me straight answers, and He often doesn't appear to answer at all. He let's me do a lot of the work and choosing. He gave us gifts, talents, desires, etc. but we often get stuck in the trap of the enemy that tells us that we have to hear some divine revelation out of heaven to know what to do.

Today I was wrestling with the pressures, trials, and challenges of my heart. I came to Starbucks because I wanted to stop thinking about it and seek to overcome it with action. As I sat down, filled with uncertainty and discouragement, I noticed a tattoo on the back of the girl sitting in front of me that stated "This too shall pass."

These words have been significant for me over the years and I have often found myself encouraged by them on many occasions; here in the midst of my struggle I randomly find these words staring me in the face form the back of a complete stranger. How crazy it is that we travel the paths of life and have these bizarre, timely encounters. Some may call it providence, others may call it coincidence...either way, God stepped in to my circumstance in that very moment and spoke to my heart. "This too shall pass..."

When we are overwhelmed with the world, when darkness comes and shadows threaten to swallow is whole, and when it seems like God has abandoned you and doesn't care, remember this: It is the small things in life that God uses to remind us that He is with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us and He is often showing us His love and presence, but we just fail to see it. In our biggest struggle we experience confusion and it is in those moments that we often we expect answers form God. It is more often than not, however, that instead of giving us a sermon or straight talk about our issues and simply reaches down to hold our hands instead.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

More than a Game...

Throughout the world domestic violence rears it's ugly head behind closed doors. Women and children experience the onslaught of rage and lack of self-control at the hand of their husbands and fathers. The issue is serious and we cannot ignore it.

Currently the world is enjoying the beauty of the World Cup! It is a glorious even that occurs only once every four years and it is a good reason to celebrate! Commercial depicting love, unity, culture, and charity are popping up all over the television...but what is so often unnoticed is the increase in violence, rape, abuse, and human trafficking that goes along with this incredible event.

In response to this horrific reality, the following video was released to share the hair-raising truth about the World Cup. Click here to watch.

While this video only targets the issue inside the borders of the United Kingdom, the reality is that this happens all around the world. I ask that each and every one of you please watch and share this video! Please do not be passive in this serious issue! Christ calls us to action against injustice and this is one of many way that we as Christians can stand up against the growing darkness of the world. Because for many women, the World Cup isn't just a game...it's coin toss that determines the safety of their children and stability of their homes.

Bathed in Blue

Although it was after nine o'clock in the evening, light filled the sky and everything could be seen clearly! The storm had passed, and all that was left was the sound of rain water dripping of the trees. I had made my way to the back porch and taken a seat that I might enjoy the last few moments of daylight. A long day at work had taken its toll on me and my energy was drained. I looked out into the world that had just endured the torrent of a severe storm and, out in the distance, I saw the faintest sliver of the Sun just on the edge of the horizon.

It is easy to take for granted the beauty of God's creation. Far too often we miss it completely amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life and our technology-drowned culture. Tonight, however, I found myself in wonder of the beautiful landscape behind my home. I sat down and began to look around, intentionally looking for all that there was to be seen. It didn't take me but a moment to realize that the light that filled the air around me left the world curiously blue. I mean literally blue! It was if the sky above had reached down and laid itself upon the ground, or as if the rain that had fallen had first been filled with blue dye before being cast to the earth.

Now, there most certainly were colors other blue. There were vivid greens of the grass and trees, and there were various shades of browns, and there was even the occasional yellow. But all of these had seemed to have a bluish tint to them. It was a beautiful, and almost alien, sight that I couldn't help but stare at in wonder.

Soon afterwards, fireflies began to light up among the tress and in the grass. The yellow light of their abdomens seemed to be the only thing left untouched by the blueness around them, and it even seemed that they were yellower than ordinary fireflies and that they shined even brighter as well! There I stood and watched the beauty of that elfin world for as long as I could, waiting for the last bit of daylight to fade away and for all the blue to turn to blackness. I had the privilege of seeing the work of God anew and, for a brief moment in time, caught a very small glimpse of His glory and splendor!

I implore you: set aside the cell phone, turn off the television and the laptop, and take a moment to see the world around you. Perhaps you need to remember that there is this thing called "grass" that grows just a few feet beyond your doorstep, or perhaps that there are flowing things called "rivers" that you have neglected to swim in this (increasingly hot) summer. Even more importantly, perhaps you  need to take a moment to notice that creature that sits but a few feet away from you staring at his or her own computer screen which you have, most unintentional, forgot was present and was bestowed the title of "human".

We were made to worship God by living in and enjoying His glorious presence and His creation, but h can we do that when we can't even put down our not-so-smartphones to have remember the beauty of true friendship and the presence of real people in our lives. Stop looking at other peoples' Instagrams of the world and take a step outside your door. Maybe you will find a world bathed in blue and a thousand fireflies waiting to greet the night with you.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

To Love and Learn

Lately I have been reading a great deal recently about the monastic life; I have been reading and meditating on writings from monks that have long passed from this Earth, but whose words have not. There is much left for me to read and great deal more to meditate on, but thus far I have found inspiration and significance in the writings of these phenomenal men and women who displayed such incredible devotion.

In the tradition of my youth, I was not encouraged to explore the writings and teachings of our spiritual forefathers, at least not the ones who came before the holiness movement. Anything that took place between the penning of Paul's letters and the mid-1800's was left unmentioned, unquoted, and unappreciated. It wasn't until college that I began to understand the importance and value of these unexplored works. 

I am not saying that everything written by the ancients was pure gold. Some of what was written is a bit far-fetched or twisted, but they are still worth our attention and time. Today I'm reading through a book called The Love of Learning and the Desire for God, which is a beautiful piece on monastic culture. 

One thing that struck me in the book was that there were aspects of the monastic life that I experienced in my years as a member of Pentecostal congregation. Throughout my years as a Pentecostal there was a focus on the celestial and heavenly realms, a strong theology of work and action, and a continual push for devotion to God. I was highly encouraged to continuous, daily prayer and worshipful action. The difference between the philosophies that I was taught and the monastics come down to the practical application and a distinct difference in their theology of learning. 

When I say "theology of work" I am not speaking of work ethic or vocation, though it does have some implication to both. I'm referring to the interpretation of, and response to, the words of James who said that "faith without works is dead." There are those that focus on charity as the means of working out their faith, while others vocally "declare victory over their lives," and others spend hours in prayer and meditation. The list goes on. Let's just look at the monastics and the Pentecostals. 

The monks expressed this in a very practical sense through praying the offices together at preset times and living in a state of intentional community and communal labor. Through the work of their hands to plow the ground, the work of their minds to study and contemplate, and the work of their hearts to discipline themselves to prayer and self-sacrifice, they live out their faith.

The Penties are not so different in theology. It is also strange that a group of people who are often the most critical of the Roman Catholic Church are actually the closest concerning the Holy Spirit's role in the life of the Christian!

Pentecostals often have a firm grasp on the need for daily and continual prayer, though in application it varies. They do not set times and do not follow a structure or order for prayer, and this comes out of a belief that prayer should take more effort than just the devotion of one's time and thoughts, but also the laboring of words. Thus many hours of my time in prayer where spent in silence and emptiness from lack of words to express my prayers, while many hours still where spent trying to formulate elegant words and in reflection of what I was saying. In this, the Pentecostal would greatly benefit from the structure of the offices as well as the carefully developed prayers found in the Book of Common Prayer, but at the same time the monastics would greatly benefit from the freer and self-expressive prayers of the Pentecostal found weeping face down on the floor. 

The two share deep devotion, and there are those who are misled in both groups. Everyone is broken, and sin works its way in to any crevice it can find. Because of this, we find brokenness in both groups and the disconnect between them. If we were to adopt aspects from both sides of the spectrum, however, we would find that the monastics would be even more effective in their ministry to the world, and the Pentecostals would be able to engage their world in greater measure, as well as be more fully integrated into the body of Christ. Perhaps rest of Christianity can then give more applause rather than shaking their heads in embarrassment, and maybe Penties can work along side their brothers and sisters without being looked down upon as the red-headed step child of theology and practice.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Leadership = Servanthood

What does leadership mean? Doesn't mean having power and authority to command; to determine the fates of others and to enforce ideologies at all costs? Doesn't mean being the popular guy and having a charismatic personality that stir the hearts of men and swoon those of women? Is it the one who bears vast depths of intelligence and can solve the hardest of inter-dimensional equations and explain why all of star trek and Dr. Who are improbable? Surely, these may be leaders, or at least given the title of "leader", but it is not
"leadership."

Leadership is service. It is putting one's self last and putting others first. It is taking the strengths, intelligence, charismatic speech, and wisdom for the sake of the whole rather than personal gain. It means sticking your neck out, making the hard decisions, taking risks, and much much more. The key is serving.

Like a captain that goes down with his ship, a leader doesn't bail in a disaster when there are other in his care still on board the sinking ship. He takes responsibility for the sinking ship, even if it wasn't him that made the mistake. He doesn't point fingers at the previous ship captain and blame him for the ships current state, especially after having had command for 4+ years.

Wait...

Moving on.

In terms of church government, which varies from denomination to denomination (and sometimes church to church) this is all the more true of leadership. Priests, pastors, bishops, archbishops, and popes--these all must take up great responsibility and as they move into higher positions of authority. The higher up, the more they must serve. The more of their time, energy, and gifting is demanded of them by God for the growth of the body. Thus the reason why I support Pope Benedict's decision to step down. His realization that his physical condition kept him from being able to serve the Christian world was greatly hindered caused him to step down to make way for one who could better accomplish this task of servant-hood. It was a great act of humility and honesty in the face of critical world.

In the denomination I currently call my theological home, there is an emphasis on the concept of leadership as servant-hood. Below is a rough diagram of the hierarchy of Anglican leadership. Notice how, unlike traditional diagrams of leadership/hierarchy, the point of the pyramid points down rather than up!

The head is the tail and is considered, though spiritual and theological sound, as well as being of spiritual discipline and maturity, but he is essentially the "least" within the Anglican Church. The people or "laity" are at the top because they are the ones served by all in authority. If we wanted to get really in depth here, we could add another tier at the top entitled "Non-believers", but that's another post entirely.

As are called to disciple, to lead, and, most of all, to serve. Even the laity of the Church is called to serve one another. If all you want to do is show up and get a weekly ego boost then you aren't pleasing God. You're just pleasing your flesh. Christ called us to serve!

Ideally, all of Christiandom would have this type of leadership mindset, but sadly it just isn't the case. Pastors across the world are put on pedestals and idolized. Mega-church pastors and televangelist worldwide are getting caught up in their ego and creativity, forgetting to serve the people in their charge. On the day of judgment, they will be held responsible for their teachings and their actions. For all of God's people that were put in their lives to be served and taught.

Let's go and serve each other and the world. Let's build church that are Christ-centered rather than pastor-centered. Let's remove the Americanized understanding of what a "pastor" or "preacher" is and put some "priests"/elders in charge who can get the job done and serve the people the way God intended.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Of Cars and...Freedom?

I hate riding in other peoples' cars for long periods of time. Not because I love driving, but because I feel trapped and deprived of freedom. Unable to get away...completely at the mercy of my host and his/her musical preference. It is an incredibly frustrating feeling.

There are certain places in this world and certain people that when present I can't help but feel robbed of freedom and individuality. This is sad because I often find that it's my own fault that I lack that freedom; failing to address what feel like intrusions, determine what truly are vialations of space and freedom, and to then speak up against the true intrusions.

Do you have people in your life that leave you feeling robbed of power; of freedom? Are there things that seem miniscule to most but really get under your skin? In what ways do you take action against such feelings?

Grace and Peace,
Stephen

Failing with Community

Last week I was talking to a close friend and he was expressing a great deal of pain over having  lost a job that he put forth a significant amount of effort and time to keep. He refused to tell anyone in the church he was attending or any of his closest friends in the area, save for me, what had happened. There in a car steadily cruising down 4th street, he spilled many bitter tears and he said, "I can't face them...I can't tell them that I failed."

As I sat in the car with him I felt my heart break with him. Sadly, I had not the words to encourage him. In fact, it seemed as though he simply would not hear the words I had to say. Sentences worked their way past my teeth as I tried to share and partake in his burden, to be there with him, but every time  I was thwarted in my attempt at being a friend and member of his community with words of pain that stated "you don't understand!", "I'm not like you, I'm not as smart as you", "I can't let them know, I just can't!", etc. It is not a shocker though. This is a common issue. I've seen this my entire life, and I have often behaved the same way. How do you tell the people you love and respect that you failed? How do you face disappointing those you look up to?

There lies a flaw in our understanding of relationship and community. In fact, the answer to my friend's struggle was simple. He merely had to remember that the ones that he held close in community love him. That's huge! It makes all the difference in the world to remember that the ones we love do love us in return. If they do not love us and respect us, then what reason have we to want to please them? And if they truly love us, then why must we fear their response at our failing?

Failure is an element of life that everyone experiences and every one hates, but not everyone deals with it well. I have personally struggled with the harshness of failure, even though since I was but a child I have struggled and fought to avoid failure. Sadly this left me refusing to partaking in activities or taking risks because of my fear of failure and overwhelming desire to avoid it.

Community-true community- exists as a living organism of relationship and love. This means that community is our primary source of support when we do fail, and if community fails to be there for us in the darkest eras of our lives, then it is a false community. Know and be known-that is the prerogative of community. If we are their for others in their pains, but refuse to share our own then we are knowing but not being known. Community shares the joys and the sufferings of life; not just the joys. If we choose not to share our sufferings with our communities, then we are guilty of denying them the fullness of ourselves in community; we become the wound, the void in that living organism. We deny them the right of knowing us fully, but even worse is the denial of the opportunity to be Christ in our lives!

If my friend could move past his fear and his pride, he could be dwelling in a place of security, safety, and love. Now, don't think I'm being insensitive to my friend. I recognize how hard it is to open up and be vulnerable, and I'm glad that he shared his pain with me! It is important to understand, however, that if he would only reach out to the rest of his community in which he has previously been so intimately connected with, he would experience the healing and support of community that is of Christ; through which Christ would speak to his heart and bring him life, encouragement, and love! I speak from experience in this matter, having refused to turn to others in the midst of darkness. As a result, I suffered more than was necessary and left myself susceptible to prolonged, undue sorrow; discouragement; and loneliness.

Remember, if your community truly loves you then they will want to be there for you! In fact, they might even find themselves hurt by your refusing to share. If they are not willing to be their for you or show you live, then it is time to recognize that you are in a false community and it is time to move on to find a true community of believers.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"I Confess..."

Silence. As I sit in the pew of a little brick church building on the outskirts of Savannah, GA I bow my head and let the noiselessness of the room fill me. Locked in a state of reflection, I prepare myself to be vulnerable, honest, and totally exposed. A man in robes enters the room and moves past me to the front of the sanctuary. He places a chair in the center of the altar and sits with his back to me; he quietly meditates and lifts his own prayers to heaven.

After a few more moments of reflection, I slowly approach the front. Kneeling just behind the man, I begin sharing the deepest and darkest truths of my soul in spoken prayer to God. As I render unto God all the sickness of my heart and soul that I can muster out of my memory, the man bears witness to my confession of sin. Then I speak the words signifying that I was finished and robed priest answers in response that I am forgive all my sins. After some words of encouragement, he leaves me to pray in silence as long as my heart would desire. After a time I took my leave, feeling like the weight of the world had been taken off my shoulders and full of life. And thus ended my first experience in participating in a formal confession.

I was very nervous about doing a confession, but it was something that been on my soul to do for quite some time. While I know there are many of my friends and family who will be quite taken aback by my having done this, I believe that it was something impressed upon me by the Holy Spirit to do. So in the confidence that my honesty would be kept secret (and that it was something I need to do) I let my heart pour out and I showed no restraint. In that prayer I spoke of things that I had shared with no living thing.

I know that many will argue about the theology of confessing to a priest, and that's all good-just leave your opinion in the comment section below. I'm writing to share my experience, not to convince anyone of it theologically. Even if you don't believe that it is a necessity to confess to a priest (or pastor, if you're into that sorta thing), you will never know the beauty and relief of having shared your sins with another human being and being accepted regardless of your darkness.

The beauty of going before someone of greater spiritual maturity who has devoted his life to caring for the souls of humanity and sharing the deepest and darkest parts of your being. To stand before God together like a child going before his father to tell him about the window he broke; having his older brother right there beside him to encourage him. And then having both the father and the brother hold him and say "all is forgiven. Let's go fix that window!" That is the beauty and glory of confession.

From this I find relief. Not only in knowing that I have been accepted and given grace by a spiritual director, but also the reality of God's acceptance and love by extent. In seeing that in a human being, I was able to walk in greater certainty of God's forgiveness and grace! In turn I believe I now have a better understanding of humanity and greater capacity for showing grace to fellow humans.

This is my experience and I am incredibly grateful that I yielded myself to the Spirit's leading despite the discomfort and difficulty that I faced in doing so.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Why I Defended a Muslim

I recently wrote a post about Christians being racist and today I got to see the evils of such a reality on a very real and personal level. As I have mentioned before, I once spent a summer in the Middle East and while I was there I taught English to locals.

I have the privilege of still being in contact with many of my students, and I get to have conversations with them from time to time. Today, one of my former students posted a picture that contained a quote from the Qu'ran concerning the Trinity and the divinity of Christ. I had decided that I might respond to this and explain first that Christian belief in the Trinity is in fact a monotheistic belief. Before I could even start writing my comment I had my attention stolen at the site of a comment from that said student asking "what is a durka?"

My stomach dropped and I frantically began reading the other comments. I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of disbelief as I read the comments of these two men that raged against him and made comment after comment loaded with racism, poison, and ignorance. I left a comment for my friend and asked him to forgive the two racists for their comments and for being so blatantly disrespectful. Next thing I knew I found myself defending my Muslim friend against these supposedly "Christian" individuals.

Where ever there is hatred, ignorance, persecution, darkness, or chaos we must stand up and say "NO! This is NOT permissible!"

If I come across a Christian attacking anyone for the color, ethnicity, or religion I will ALWAYS stand up AGAINST them. This is NOT Christ-like in any way, shape, or form! This is evil and ungodly! It is taking the name of God upon oneself in utter vanity and misrepresents the Holy One. It is an affront to the Gospel and worthy of wrath and ruin! Lest they repent, God will most certainly silence them Himself.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ have mercy.

Lord have mercy.

Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself! These things are neither love nor service to God or man! What I saw today was the darkness of humanity and the evils that even those who claim Christ are capable of conjuring. They attacked an innocent man and counted him a murderer and a villain. They struck him with their words and sought to deprive him of dignity and value over his religious devotion. May Christ have mercy on them and forgive them!

God, forgive ALL of us for all of our foolishness and for all we do that dishonors Your Name and leads men astray! Correct Your children and makes us more like You and let us be found above reproach; that we would be Light where there is Darkness, Truth where there is Deceit, Knowledge where there is Ignorance, Peace where their is Chaos, and Life where there is Death!

 Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Wounded? Go Heal

Recently, I read the book The Wounded Healer  by Henri Nouwen. I was deeply moved by his words and began contemplating what it means to be a "wounded healer." Growing up, I believed that one was either the wounded or the healer, and that being both at the same time was contradictory and diminishing of the healing work of the Spirit and the calling to be a minister. How could someone be called to minister to the wounded, and those in the church needing spiritual guidance, be someone that the Holy Spirit has not fully and completely healed and restored?

The truth is that everyone is wounded in one way, shape or form. EVERYONE! Those wounds come a thousand different places: family, friends, strangers, teachers, co-workers, sexual assault, verbal abuse, spiritual manipulation, etc! While we all experience varying levels and quantities of suffering, we all experience it.

So how do we reconcile a hurting world with a "loving" God? By first correcting our understanding of suffering and God's relationship to humanity and our understanding of God's "will".

God does not love suffering.

Suffering is a result of sin.

God USES that suffering and people's sin to reveal Himself and to fight against the Darkness.

God leads us through processes of healing and restoration. Christ was the sacrifice for our sins and the gateway to our being restored to right standing with God! We have to be careful not to get fixated on an attribute of God and draw conclusions of what "should be", but instead realize that there is a mystery and a complexity to God that we can never understand. God loves us! He will end suffering, He will end pain, and He will completely heal, but He has chosen to use His creation and to reveal Himself in incredible ways while He does it! He uses the brokenness of His people and invites us to join Him in the restoration of the World by the power of His Spirit and the cleansing power of His blood! How beautiful is it that we are given this opportunity to walk along side our God and be apart of His work and participate in the Glory that is God's!

With that said, we need to understand that God created us to work in conjunction with others and in the context of community. We as the Church are called to work towards the restoration of the world and of the souls of humanity. We are called to work in the greatest restoration project of all time! We are to be healers in a world of hurt. It doesn't matter that you have been wounded because we all have! Our wounds enable us to connect with others and to share our experiences of God's grace and love.

So go and be a healer and don't fret about your imperfections. Work on your imperfections, but don't let them be a hindrance or an excuse to not act or to engage with those in need.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Simply "Just"

I have noticed a pattern in my thinking when it comes to my thinking about life and in my practice of self-examination. Whenever I have a problem and I am trying to work out a reasoning or solution, I have consistently used the word "just" in my statements. I will saying thing like 'Oh, it's just _____" or "I'm just being _____" or "I need to just do _____ and everything is fine." I consistently give in the temptation to over simplify by saying "just".

The issue of my word usage goes a step further. In my usage of the unjustly used word "just" I not only just simplify the issue at hand, but also diminish it's importance or significance! This is hindrance to my problem solving as it very deceptive in nature. The question I must now ask is, in what other ways have I done this? In what ways have a over simplified or diminished the importance of? Sadly, I think there are many ways that I have done this. Even more so, I think I'm seeing this pattern in American culture, and even in the Church. 

We see this flaw in a lot of the "soul care" that is performed by many of our pastors. Many telling those under their care that they "just need to pray and read their Bibles" or that "it's just a sin issue" and they "just need to repent of that sin", while many times there is a much deeper need that isn't being met. Our families even fall prey to this dark reality in the way parents might address family issues and in training their children. 

We must be careful not to allow ourselves to underestimate the significance of the difficulties and temptation we face, not that which our friends and family members face as well. To not give proper attention and energy to a matter is an injustice, and even sinful, way of treating ourselves and others. Additionally, we must recognize that solutions are rarely ever simple. They are almost always complex and will take time to overcome or solve, if either is ever actually achieved at all. It is a part of the incredible, multifaceted journey to sanctification and wholeness that we all must undertake as followers of the Christ. 

As ministers of the souls of humanity, let us strive not to look down upon the struggles and difficulties of our brothers and sisters, but instead let us hold them with grace; bearing the patience and grace to listen, and to listen well. Lives are at stake; souls that need wholeness and the Light of Christ. 

Simplicity has it's place and it's beauty. Simplicity is real and even needed, but the we must not lose truth and logic in our desire to simplify. It is nice to think that solutions are easy and can be quickly conjured, but if we allow ourselves to think this way then we hinder our healing and restoration as well as the healing an restoration of others. Recognizing that wholeness is often a difficult and complex journey is important for us to accept if we are to carry on and endure the hardship; to resist the weight of discouragement and the sorrow of slow progress. 

I pray that we may all grow to help others and to give ourselves in love, and listen with sincerity and intent to those around us who also suffer from the darkness of sin and it's consequences. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Justified Christian Racism?

"And love your neighbor as yourself..."

A few years ago I had the incredible privilege of traveling to the glorious country of Jordan and living among Iraqi refugees and teaching English to Jordanians and Palestinians. In my being there, I learned so much about culture, history, and humanity! Upon my return, however, I began to see an aspect of Christianity that I had never experienced before: racism justified by theology. 

Generally, when one hears the word "racist" they think of a white guy hating on a black guy because the color of his skin, or against a Hispanic for not speaking English very well. What I experienced, however, was very different and arguably worse. I spoke to someone about the possibility of going and being a part of YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and with a big smile he said "Great!", but then suddenly turning to a hard, grim face he said "just don't learn Arabic...don't learn Arabic." 

This was not the last time I heard something like this or experienced this kind of hateful disposition over my having worked with Arabs or desiring to learn Arabic. This distasteful attitude came out of some with incredibly Zionistic trends in their theology and overall worldview. My qualm is not with Christian Zionism, but instead with what is a very common side effect of that tradition: the belief that the enemy of the state of Israel is the enemy of the Church universal. 

There is a strange elitistic belief concerning Jews and Israelis, and more specifically messianic Jews. In my living in Knoxville, I have met people who believe that Messianic Jews are superior in Christ's Kingdom, and this disheartens me greatly! What makes it even worse that I myself used to believe this way and didn't realize it! It is sad that anyone should think less of any ethnicity simply over political issues and theological disposition that glorifies ancestry over the Gospel! Even if they are Christian, they may find themselves being tossed aside by their American brethren because they are seen as anti-Israel (such as the Palestinians in exile). 

The beauty of the cross and the Kingdom of Christ is that it transcends political and geographical borders. It goes beyond genetics, ancestry, dynasties, and time itself! 

One Christ, one baptism, one Church. 

The prejudice of the Church in America far exceeds mere Zionistic hatred of non-Israeli middle easterners. This is merely one way that I have personally experienced and continue to experience form time to time. My tendency is to shy away from confrontation, but I find myself unable to step back from this issue and to not address the unjust, unbiblical, and unChrist-like attitude. 

It is WRONG! Pure and simple. We are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves, and that means ALL of our neighbors, especially if they are those within the Kingdom of Christ. Kingdom citizenship supersedes all other nationalities and racial backgrounds at all times and all places!

Let us examine our lives (as well as our theological beliefs) to ensure that we are living with Christ above all and that we are honoring the King whom we represent on this world full of racism and hatred between the peoples of the earth. 

Grace and Peace, 

Stephen