Out Of Tune

Life is hectic! It seems like I'm always on the go and trying to accomplish some task or another. Half the time I haven't got a clue if I'm doing things right and I'm having to submit myself to a great deal of trial and error.

My spiritual life is no different. I am continually striving for greater spiritual growth and maturity, and I often do not feel that I'm living a life that pleases God. I am essentially stating that I am sub-par, valueless, displeasing to, and unloved by God. Yet I hold this double standard that God loves the very person I believe to be the worst and lowest of humanity. Messed up, no?

This is a significant lie that is interwoven into my thought processes. That is indeed what it is: a LIE. 

Sunday I was driving the school van and taking a handful of our kids to a local church. On the way there, my friend/co-worker reached over and turned on the radio to a local Christian station. As the music filled the car, I noticed something else along side the voice of the artist. It was the sound of one of my students sitting behind me; singing out confidently along with the radio. His voice cracked, he sang out of tune, and he didn't know half of the words but that didn't stop him from trying to sing every single line. With every error and with every inaccurate note I found myself smiling more and more as joy filled my heart. 

Then the Spirit struck my heart. 

I could hear the Spirit saying, "This is the joy I feel every day with you. I don't care that you sing it wrong, just keep singing." 

We have a goal that we strive for, but the truth is that we are human and we fail. In the words of Denzel Washington in the movie The Equalizer, "Progress...not perfection." 

Everyday we live out our lives in a struggle to overcome our brokenness and pain, every stumbling along the path to healing. Christ walks with us and listens as we, mere babes in the faith, seek to mutter the language of life and redemption; as we move from a crawl to a run. He does not look down on us with contempt at our stumbling over words or our tripping over our own feet. No, He looks upon us with great joy at every failed attempt because every failure means a lesson learned and an attempt made toward holiness. 

So keep singing out of tune. Sing out at the top of your lungs every misplaced note and mutter every forgotten word! Sing until you can hear the pitch changes and until the rhythm of holiness and grace have been integrated into your very soul. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Preparing to Worship

How does one prepare themselves for worship? What steps does on take? How does one manipulate his or her own heart or mind to being "prepared" to worship God? Are these even the right questions?

Yesterday I was spending time with my good friend Matt Green, author and editor of the blog From the Library to the Lectern, and talking about this very topic. Though we only talked about it briefly, I found myself with a great deal to write on the subject.

I grew up in a pentecostal/charismatic worship environment where I often heard things like "Get your hearts ready for worship", "Let us prepare to worship God" (This one is usually said after the first two song that are generally fast paced and come right before the one or two slow songs that sum up the typical worship service", and also "I hope you have come prepared to worship".

Such statements leads church goers to begin to question themselves. For the "outsider" who has never been to church before, they might begin to be confused and question their assumption that simply by desiring to come and participate that they are in fact...prepared. Then again, many people come to hear the preaching form the pastor, and could care very little about expressing love and worship to God.

SO back to the original question. How does one prepare themselves for worship? Most people I know would say "by listening to good Christian music on your way to church!" or "by praying, fasting, and or speaking in tongues while you drive!" I find these answer rather unsatisfactory.

1. Simply listening to "good Christian music" is more or less a paradox these days, and listening to "worship" music does not make one ready to worship.
2. If one were to sing along to the worship music they are playing for the purpose of becoming worshipful, are they not worshiping?
3. Praying, fasting, and speaking in tongues are not instruments for making one worshipful. While practicing these things can in fact grow one closer to God, they do not prepare one for worship. Though I will not deny the connectivity of these said action to worship. 
4. Why is worship limited to one or two songs during a service on Sunday?
5. People who sing worship songs on their way to church may still not even worship once there. 
6. I think that our concept of worship is incredibly off base. We boil worship down to either the displaying of emotions, or to the reciting of ancient liturgical writings while missing the real point of worship: God. 

If your heart is not in a place in which you feel excited about going to a worship service, it does not make you a terrible person. We all go through times in our lives where we don't have a desire to worship (in Christianese this called a "dry season" or a "valley"). God does not love you less for this, nor does it mean that you are drifting from God. 

They are a great number of reasons as to why you might be experiencing this lack of desire. A lot of times it's because we get caught up in the stresses and turmoils of life and we lose focus on God, or we neglect to talk something out with Him. We put away our wrestlings and questions that we have concerning life and come with our minds in a fog. While listening to music and praying and speaking in tongues are all ways of bring God back into the forefront place in our minds, they are often promoters of unhealthiness when used by people to ignore or push aside emotions and unprocessed thought. 

Worship is lifting up of God and standing in awe of Him, honoring Him by being what He has created us to be and marveling at His creation and His deeds. How can we do that properly when we do not look at the world around us? How can we worship God when we shove all of reality out of our minds or leave our emotions toward God and towards life/reality unprocessed? 

I believe it is possible, but not to the fullest of our abilities. I have begun to recognize the need for knowledge of God and for the mystery of God to invade me mind. I have found myself worshiping God more and more with my intellect and with deeply meaningful liturgy than with tears and emotion driven singing (though I see purpose and placement for those as well). 

What are your thoughts on worship? What do you think it means to worship or to "prepare" for worship? What brought you to this conclusion?

Peace be with you all,

Stephen