"As Those Long Dead"

At some point in my teenage years I decided to read Lamentations just because it was there (and because I couldn't recall ever reading it). I had no idea what I was about to read. At the time I was painfully unaware of the definition of "lament", nor had I practiced such an action as lamenting to God. I wasn't quite connecting with the book until I began the 3rd chapter.

"He causes me to dwell in darkness as those long dead..."

-Lamentations 3:6

As a read the words that spoke of pain and suffering; the expressions of feeling abandoned by God, I began to cry. The words resonated in my soul and I ceased reading before I finished the chapter. These were the darkest words that I had ever read outside of my own prayer journal, and they were in the Bible! What was I to think of this? Was I reading it right? How could there be scriptures of such pain and misery?

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

-Lamentations 3:21-23

The Orthodox have a belief that the life of the believer is one of rhythms and patterns. We go through time of Darkness - and that Darkness can be overwhelming at times! - but it placed in our paths to lead us out of self-destruction and sin; to strengthen us and lead us in to deeper knowledge of God and into states of holiness. Yes, it is painful to walk in shadow and to feel as though God has abandoned you, but He will not let it last forever. Faith, Hope and Love at the gifts that God grants those who ask, and these gifts are the tool that get us through! 

"Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil..."

-Psalm 23:4

Walk through the Shadows; stay in the Light.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Where Dusk Meets the Dawn

Some days I think I got stuff figured out; that I've discovered the attitude and mindset that one should bear to experience fullness of growth and live most submitted to the will of God. In my defense, I've never claimed to be without pride haha. Every time I get to the point where I think "Oh man, I think I got it this time!" God is like "NOPE! Good try though!", and then I'm back at the drawing board.

Today is one of those days where I am struck with the realization that I definitely don't know everything, and also a day where I realize that I haven't quite dealt with some stuff that I thought I had! It's subtle experiences and revelations that keep life interesting. They slip in and the world changes!

Today I am filled with awe as I meditate on my relationship with God. I recognize a dissonance in my heart toward the cliche word "relationship". Partially because the word is incredibly overused, but another is that it seems so...limiting. The word cannot grasp the depth of what it is to know God and be known by God. At least, it doesn't seem to.

I have come to the conclusion that the question "how is your relationship with God?" is a very poor one to ask. I have found that a better question would be "how are you doing spiritually?" or "What has spiritual discipline been looking like for you lately?" These are questions that more accurately portray what is being asked and provides better insight into one's interaction with God and much more informative of the soul's formation.

To describe one's relationship with God is so difficult compared to a relationship with another human being. It is the colors of daytime mixed with the solitude and peace of the country. It is the ocean waves crashing against the sand; the wind rushing over grassy plains. It is where city meets country. It is dawn and dusk all in one. It is a divine dance of romance; of joy and of sorrow. To be in a "relationship" with the great, eternal Being that created everything, who loves perfectly and is perfectly trustworthy...it is an incredibly one sided relationship indeed.

I cannot describe God, so why would I think that I can capture what it is to be loved by Him or to live life alongside Him? I can't even begin to understand why He causes or allows certain events and circumstances to occur, so why do I believe I can define it or create a formula for spirituality?

I used to believe that the heart of God was found in Israel, in a certain biological and political grouping of humanity and Christians were an add on. I was wrong, the heart of God is humanity as a whole! It's in the individual person and in the gathering of people. His heart is us. Is delight is in us! In our broken, marred, and disgusting state He loves and delights in us! He craves and pursues humanity, allowing us to experience His glory and love, though we deserve annihilation.

How great and magnificent is our God above all other gods?! How pure and loving and majestic is He who sacrificed Himself to Himself to pay a debt that was not His and to bring forth reconciliation on our behalf when we were found incapable of doing so ourselves!

Perhaps you are going through a time of sorrow and it is difficult to see God in the midst of the shadows of life. Even the darkness whispers of the love of God. I find that this is often the case for me as well, but I have found that God has never left me and it is in the shadows that He reveals His healing light. Do not fear the darkness for Christ is with you. Do not fret the valley for it does not last forever, and when you breach the mist and walk out of the the crevice of death you will find Him there and He will give you peace.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen