Encouraged by Frustration

"You can't save them you know." 

These words echoed in my soul for hours. I had no idea that as I walked into the dining hall that I would stumble into a conversation with one of the campus counselors. I also did not know that I would be talking about my soul rather than those of my Littles. I did not know that in a brief moment of conversation that I would have my defenses and masks swept away and that I would be left to deal the reality of my limitations and, ultimately, leave encouraged and affirmed.

This was neither the first, nor the last, spontaneous conversation of encouragement and honest that I received this past week. Even though I did not want to be exposed and to become unraveled, it was necessary for my heart and health so that I might persevere. 

My frustrations over the last couple days, as the counselor noted, were not out of petty thinking or sin or out of being a failure. They were, in fact, a result of good things. I have poured myself out and I have given myself in full to the task at hand; to helping teens and to loving them with all that I have. This past week, however, has been full of negative events and a great deal of "firsts" that I wasn't expecting and that I had not the time to process. So naturally I felt the tension and frustration that came with, what appeared to be, regression. 

"Just walk with them. Take care of yourself, and continue to love them."

I told the counselor of the things that I was dealing with and how I felt like I was not succeeding in my task to love them well. Additionally, I shared my concerns about where I was lacking and how much I hated that my limitations and how I was quickly all these limitations. To which she responded, in loving sarcasm, "Oh, you're human? You can't work here. Sorry, only super-humans can be Bigs" Oh man! Talk about getting a slap of reality! No one is perfect, and being down or frustrated not a bad thing. For me, it become the evidence of my working hard and of my giving my all. In the midst of giving my all, however, I forgot that I'm not Superman. 

"Just walk through life with them."

Christ doesn't call us to be perfect. He calls us to love and to seek Him. He calls us to walk alongside the hurting as the take this journey called Life and to say "Hey, I love you and God loves you. Don't quit." You don't have to be perfect to do that. There is room to be frustrated and to make mistakes and that...that is encouraging.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen