Keep it Sacred

We hear a lot about "seperation of church and state", but we never talk about the seperation of church and sabbath. The two are often thought of in conjunction with one another, and though this is not necessarily a bad thing, we as humans often take it too far and begin to create rules, standards, and expectations that are not biblically founded and are sometimes harmful. 

For me, Sabbath starts on Tuesday morning and ends on Wednesday night, It is the time in which I am able to get away, rest, seek God and holy community, and to worship God through the appreciation and love of His creation. Why?

I have a crazy job! I work 80 hour weeks taking care of 26 teenagers and encouraging them towards wholeness and quality of life. Basically, I am a 24 year old playing "big brother", youth pastor, and protector.  INSANE!

Sadly, one aspect of my job is that I work Sundays and take kids to church. Now, don't get me wrong, I love taking my kids to church! I am, however, still working and having to give the majority of my attention to what they are doing rather than to the service, and I don't get to be involved in the community itself for a variety of reasons. When the service is over it's back to watching kids, giving meds, cooking dinner, stopping fights, etc. etc. etc. 

My Sundays are 0% restful...

So how does one reconcile the need to keep sabbath with a "Christian" job that demands one's Sunday to be work? Does Sabbath have to be on a certain day of the week for it to count or for God to be pleased? Does Sabbath have to be taken somewhere between 6 pm on Friday and midnight on Sunday for it to be counted as Holy or Sacred? I think not. Perhaps the church has severly legalized Sabbath and, as a result, not kept it holy...

I maintain a constistent connection to Christian community. In fact, I am living in the midst of one! The  aspect of Sabbath I am not getting on a daily basis is rest. That's what my "mid-week Sabbath" is all about right now: rest. I need rest, relaxation, and the chance to get away from home. Why? Because I don't go to work...I live there! I can't seperate home from work becasue they are one and the same. My life now revolves around the house of teens and young adults.

Therefore, my Sabbath is about adventure, escape, and being myself. It is a time to work on art projects, see movies, drink coffee, and to do all the things that I enjoy and make me...well, me! 

Sabbath is sleeping in! It is going to book stores and local coffee shoppes, eating breakfast with friends, and playing flashlight tag or volleyball! Sabbath is rest and it is freedom. Sabbath is my chance to take care of myself rather than 26 teens, to seek God's presence and restoration, and to love myself as much as I am loving others. 

Sabbath has become more than just a Sunday morning ritual. It is now a way of life and a means of survival. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Is It Forgiveness?

Despite the popular belief among many Christians today, forgiveness is not a simple action for anyone. While most will admit that it isn't easy, forgiveness is simplified to the action of declaring the offender is "forgiven."

This is not forgiveness. It is only a fraction of it. Sadly, It is also something that I believed for the majority of my life.

I've heard it said many times that "forgiveness is not for the forgiven, but for the forgiver." This used to strike me as deeply profound and I found freedom in this statement.

It is, however, only a half-truth.

Looking at Christ as our example of real forgiveness, forgiveness isn't so one-sided. Applying the above statement to our relationship to God, I find it difficult to say that forgiveness is for God and not for us.

 I’m not going to kid you: forgiveness is hard. Releasing someone from the responsibility for an offense against you is counter-intuitive. Why would I want to let someone off the hook? The anser is: you don't. I don't either! Offenses happen becasue of sin, and unforgiveness and the resual to reconcile is of sin as well!

Forgiveness in its entirety contains the willingness to attempt restitution as well as to reconcile with the other party. For us, to "forgive as [Christ] forgives us", we must seek to rebuild the relationship if possible. Christ doesn't just say "Ok, I forgive you. Go on with your life, we don't need to talk anymore." He says, "Come to me and let us be known to each other."

I know, I know...we can't always do the reconciling work of build a relationship. Distance and death often prevent that, and that's ok. In those instances we do what can be done: make an emotional and mental declaration that you aren't going to hold on to the "debt" that is owed you by that person. Perhaps an honest prayer of telling God, "Hey, I don't hold that against them anymore. Can you help me heal and to go on even though I can't reconcile with them?" is in order.

But that leaves me with the question: Is it truly forgiveness if there is no admittance of being wrong or repentance?

The New Testament sure doesn't seem to say so. In fact, our being forgiven by God is dependent upon our responding to His calling us out on sin and repenting of that sin. He come in humility and ask for forgiveness and THEN Christ forgives. It is the first step to reconciling us to our God. Anything other than that is simply not holding a grudge or letting things get to you.

I fail at this. I fail at confronting an offender and telling him/her "Hey! You hurt me! You did *insert offense* and that's not cool!" I hate confrontation and I hate letting people off the hook from what they have done.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

To Love and Learn

Lately I have been reading a great deal recently about the monastic life; I have been reading and meditating on writings from monks that have long passed from this Earth, but whose words have not. There is much left for me to read and great deal more to meditate on, but thus far I have found inspiration and significance in the writings of these phenomenal men and women who displayed such incredible devotion.

In the tradition of my youth, I was not encouraged to explore the writings and teachings of our spiritual forefathers, at least not the ones who came before the holiness movement. Anything that took place between the penning of Paul's letters and the mid-1800's was left unmentioned, unquoted, and unappreciated. It wasn't until college that I began to understand the importance and value of these unexplored works. 

I am not saying that everything written by the ancients was pure gold. Some of what was written is a bit far-fetched or twisted, but they are still worth our attention and time. Today I'm reading through a book called The Love of Learning and the Desire for God, which is a beautiful piece on monastic culture. 

One thing that struck me in the book was that there were aspects of the monastic life that I experienced in my years as a member of Pentecostal congregation. Throughout my years as a Pentecostal there was a focus on the celestial and heavenly realms, a strong theology of work and action, and a continual push for devotion to God. I was highly encouraged to continuous, daily prayer and worshipful action. The difference between the philosophies that I was taught and the monastics come down to the practical application and a distinct difference in their theology of learning. 

When I say "theology of work" I am not speaking of work ethic or vocation, though it does have some implication to both. I'm referring to the interpretation of, and response to, the words of James who said that "faith without works is dead." There are those that focus on charity as the means of working out their faith, while others vocally "declare victory over their lives," and others spend hours in prayer and meditation. The list goes on. Let's just look at the monastics and the Pentecostals. 

The monks expressed this in a very practical sense through praying the offices together at preset times and living in a state of intentional community and communal labor. Through the work of their hands to plow the ground, the work of their minds to study and contemplate, and the work of their hearts to discipline themselves to prayer and self-sacrifice, they live out their faith.

The Penties are not so different in theology. It is also strange that a group of people who are often the most critical of the Roman Catholic Church are actually the closest concerning the Holy Spirit's role in the life of the Christian!

Pentecostals often have a firm grasp on the need for daily and continual prayer, though in application it varies. They do not set times and do not follow a structure or order for prayer, and this comes out of a belief that prayer should take more effort than just the devotion of one's time and thoughts, but also the laboring of words. Thus many hours of my time in prayer where spent in silence and emptiness from lack of words to express my prayers, while many hours still where spent trying to formulate elegant words and in reflection of what I was saying. In this, the Pentecostal would greatly benefit from the structure of the offices as well as the carefully developed prayers found in the Book of Common Prayer, but at the same time the monastics would greatly benefit from the freer and self-expressive prayers of the Pentecostal found weeping face down on the floor. 

The two share deep devotion, and there are those who are misled in both groups. Everyone is broken, and sin works its way in to any crevice it can find. Because of this, we find brokenness in both groups and the disconnect between them. If we were to adopt aspects from both sides of the spectrum, however, we would find that the monastics would be even more effective in their ministry to the world, and the Pentecostals would be able to engage their world in greater measure, as well as be more fully integrated into the body of Christ. Perhaps rest of Christianity can then give more applause rather than shaking their heads in embarrassment, and maybe Penties can work along side their brothers and sisters without being looked down upon as the red-headed step child of theology and practice.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Leadership = Servanthood

What does leadership mean? Doesn't mean having power and authority to command; to determine the fates of others and to enforce ideologies at all costs? Doesn't mean being the popular guy and having a charismatic personality that stir the hearts of men and swoon those of women? Is it the one who bears vast depths of intelligence and can solve the hardest of inter-dimensional equations and explain why all of star trek and Dr. Who are improbable? Surely, these may be leaders, or at least given the title of "leader", but it is not
"leadership."

Leadership is service. It is putting one's self last and putting others first. It is taking the strengths, intelligence, charismatic speech, and wisdom for the sake of the whole rather than personal gain. It means sticking your neck out, making the hard decisions, taking risks, and much much more. The key is serving.

Like a captain that goes down with his ship, a leader doesn't bail in a disaster when there are other in his care still on board the sinking ship. He takes responsibility for the sinking ship, even if it wasn't him that made the mistake. He doesn't point fingers at the previous ship captain and blame him for the ships current state, especially after having had command for 4+ years.

Wait...

Moving on.

In terms of church government, which varies from denomination to denomination (and sometimes church to church) this is all the more true of leadership. Priests, pastors, bishops, archbishops, and popes--these all must take up great responsibility and as they move into higher positions of authority. The higher up, the more they must serve. The more of their time, energy, and gifting is demanded of them by God for the growth of the body. Thus the reason why I support Pope Benedict's decision to step down. His realization that his physical condition kept him from being able to serve the Christian world was greatly hindered caused him to step down to make way for one who could better accomplish this task of servant-hood. It was a great act of humility and honesty in the face of critical world.

In the denomination I currently call my theological home, there is an emphasis on the concept of leadership as servant-hood. Below is a rough diagram of the hierarchy of Anglican leadership. Notice how, unlike traditional diagrams of leadership/hierarchy, the point of the pyramid points down rather than up!

The head is the tail and is considered, though spiritual and theological sound, as well as being of spiritual discipline and maturity, but he is essentially the "least" within the Anglican Church. The people or "laity" are at the top because they are the ones served by all in authority. If we wanted to get really in depth here, we could add another tier at the top entitled "Non-believers", but that's another post entirely.

As are called to disciple, to lead, and, most of all, to serve. Even the laity of the Church is called to serve one another. If all you want to do is show up and get a weekly ego boost then you aren't pleasing God. You're just pleasing your flesh. Christ called us to serve!

Ideally, all of Christiandom would have this type of leadership mindset, but sadly it just isn't the case. Pastors across the world are put on pedestals and idolized. Mega-church pastors and televangelist worldwide are getting caught up in their ego and creativity, forgetting to serve the people in their charge. On the day of judgment, they will be held responsible for their teachings and their actions. For all of God's people that were put in their lives to be served and taught.

Let's go and serve each other and the world. Let's build church that are Christ-centered rather than pastor-centered. Let's remove the Americanized understanding of what a "pastor" or "preacher" is and put some "priests"/elders in charge who can get the job done and serve the people the way God intended.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Justified Christian Racism?

"And love your neighbor as yourself..."

A few years ago I had the incredible privilege of traveling to the glorious country of Jordan and living among Iraqi refugees and teaching English to Jordanians and Palestinians. In my being there, I learned so much about culture, history, and humanity! Upon my return, however, I began to see an aspect of Christianity that I had never experienced before: racism justified by theology. 

Generally, when one hears the word "racist" they think of a white guy hating on a black guy because the color of his skin, or against a Hispanic for not speaking English very well. What I experienced, however, was very different and arguably worse. I spoke to someone about the possibility of going and being a part of YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and with a big smile he said "Great!", but then suddenly turning to a hard, grim face he said "just don't learn Arabic...don't learn Arabic." 

This was not the last time I heard something like this or experienced this kind of hateful disposition over my having worked with Arabs or desiring to learn Arabic. This distasteful attitude came out of some with incredibly Zionistic trends in their theology and overall worldview. My qualm is not with Christian Zionism, but instead with what is a very common side effect of that tradition: the belief that the enemy of the state of Israel is the enemy of the Church universal. 

There is a strange elitistic belief concerning Jews and Israelis, and more specifically messianic Jews. In my living in Knoxville, I have met people who believe that Messianic Jews are superior in Christ's Kingdom, and this disheartens me greatly! What makes it even worse that I myself used to believe this way and didn't realize it! It is sad that anyone should think less of any ethnicity simply over political issues and theological disposition that glorifies ancestry over the Gospel! Even if they are Christian, they may find themselves being tossed aside by their American brethren because they are seen as anti-Israel (such as the Palestinians in exile). 

The beauty of the cross and the Kingdom of Christ is that it transcends political and geographical borders. It goes beyond genetics, ancestry, dynasties, and time itself! 

One Christ, one baptism, one Church. 

The prejudice of the Church in America far exceeds mere Zionistic hatred of non-Israeli middle easterners. This is merely one way that I have personally experienced and continue to experience form time to time. My tendency is to shy away from confrontation, but I find myself unable to step back from this issue and to not address the unjust, unbiblical, and unChrist-like attitude. 

It is WRONG! Pure and simple. We are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves, and that means ALL of our neighbors, especially if they are those within the Kingdom of Christ. Kingdom citizenship supersedes all other nationalities and racial backgrounds at all times and all places!

Let us examine our lives (as well as our theological beliefs) to ensure that we are living with Christ above all and that we are honoring the King whom we represent on this world full of racism and hatred between the peoples of the earth. 

Grace and Peace, 

Stephen

 

Aspirations

What is something worth aspiring towards? What is worth doing? Each of my friends has something they aspire to be or do. For one it is to be consistent in all that he believes and to teach others to be consistent as well. Another seeks to live with discipline in the realm of Christian tradition and to have vast understanding of historical theology and understanding. Another aspires to good biblical theology and an understanding of the ancient languages that form the holy Scriptures and to teach others. And another seek to become well versed in psychology and to understand the mind to be able to reach out to broken men and women caught up in a world of brokenness, depression, sex slavery, and abuse.

All of these things, though in many ways very similar, are unique and independent aspirations that a beautiful to behold. Not all, however, have the same aspirations nor do people always appreciate these goals fully. Not everyone understands why one might want to start a nonprofit that helps the sexually abused as well as the abuser. Not everyone sees the importance of tradition or of original texts.

So here is where I find myself a little lost. I have nothing that I really specialize in, and I cannot think of single thing that I am passionate about. What is this? Apathy? Maybe. I'm really not sure. I mull over a thousand different things that I could pursue. I come across causes and the like that inspire me and even spark a desire to act, but all too soon that spark fades and I'm back at square one.

I confess that this reality scares me a little. It leads me to question myself and to wonder if there is an area I am broken in. There is. Depression and self-pity are two of the diseases that plague my soul and have for a very long time. It would be pointless and dishonest to deny that this is true. The consistent self-destructive thinking cripples my advance toward something I want to do. Before I even begin my task I've already told myself that I can't do it and I burn the bridge before it's even built.

I think that what I struggle with is more common than I once believed. I am hearing more and more about people who struggle with the same things as I. I know that there are events and relationships throughout my life that have played important factors into who I am and how I behave, but I must accept ultimate blame for what I do or don't do. Could a lot of crap been avoided by the actions of others? Absolutely. Will they be held responsible? Of course, but so will I. I will take the blunt of the blame just as I will take the measure of responsibility for what I did and did not do for others in need.

My responsibility now is to rise above my habits and the darkness that threatens me. I will seek help when necessary; I will make plans and push myself to get past the written lists I've developed. I will seek and trust God to lead me through the dark valleys that will build up my soul and make me holier tomorrow than I was yesterday. I will aspire to be a godly person and that faces every adversary with boldness and faith, to be free of cultural shackles that give me false interpretations of what is greatness and what is admirable. I will aspire to be the fullness of what God has desired to be the person of Stephen Green.


Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Healing in Darkness

When you think of healing you probably think of relief, light, happiness, peace, etc. These are the places that we often associate as being closest to God and the areas in which He most speaks to us. It is easy to come to the conclusion that God, being Light, speaks to us in the periods of light that we walk through. 

"The Light shines in the Darkness, and the Darkness has not overcome it..."   -John 1

This is the push within a lot of categories of Christianity. It is a push to reach a spiritual high; to focus, worship, and pray hard enough and long enough to enter into a place of God's "presence" that they might hear Him speaking to them and guiding them.

I have often heard it preached that you are either moving closer to God or you are backsliding; there is no middle ground or stagnation. One must seek God or they will move into darkness and experience the consequences thereof. Often, this understanding of the spiritual life of a Christian and his/her relationship to God is hard to reconcile with reality. What happens when the Christian that follows faithfully the teaching of His pastor/priest, prays continuously, attends services weekly, and reads scripture consistently, but faces times of darkness, despair, apathy, and physical/financial/emotional destruction?

The answer is often "It's just the devil!" and then they quote scripture and state that these "trials and tribulations" are proof that one is living right and the Devil is just mad. So the one enduring hardship and struggle goes on with his little "word of encouragement" and tries to endure. Labeling it all as spiritual warfare, he prays that God will come quickly from whatever distant star He watches from to come to his aid and deliver him from the impending darkness. All the while, not realizing that God is right there with him, leading him deeper into the darkness and into suffering because He knows that though His child prays for relief, it is more beneficial that he suffers.

Too often we fail to see God in the midst of our darkest moments. We beg and plead, we may even demand, healing and most of the time we expect that healing to be instant. We pray for closeness to God and expect butterflies in our stomachs or the feeling that a major weight has been lifted. Though God does do this from time to time, it is not the rule. Instead, He leads us to place of suffering that may, or may not, include the demonic. The hard truth is that sometimes, Satan just isn't involved.

"He has caused me to dwell in darkness as those who are long dead..." -Lamentations 8

What is most true is that God loves us. We as humans, however, often hold falsehoods and misunderstandings as to what love is and how God should display that love. Love is the sacrifice of oneself for another, but love is also discipline for one's wrong doing. Love is a parent forcing their child to pick up an instrument and bear the pain of practicing, or pushing them to practice soccer so that they will not be humiliated on the field or refusing to let them give up just because something is hard. If a parent would cause their child to endure hardship and struggle to become a better individual, how much more with God do this out of His infinite and perfect love.

"Then, there was a still, small whisper. And God was in it." - 1 Kings

God speaks most in the silent places of our lives. In our darkest and most hideous places in life, He speaks to us the clearest. He does the most healing when we are forced to expose our wounds and weaknesses. We are often drawn back into the deepest and darkest parts of our souls so that out of our toiling, that Christ might shine through all the brighter. God is answering the prayers for closeness and holiness, and it is our duty to learn to recognize God's hand in the darkness, allow others to help us in our weakness, and then to help others in theirs.

The greatest metaphor for this that I've ever heard comes from C.S. Lewis' "The Horse and His Boy". In the latter part of the book, the young boy finds himself walking down around and is suddenly overcome by a thick fog. He is unable to see anything! All is silent and He doesn't know where to go or what to do, so he just keeps walking slowly, hoping to reach his destination in time. Before long he hears breathing and senses the presence of "another" next to him. He is afraid because he cannot see what walks beside him, but he knows it's there. The unknown being leads him wordlessly through the fog into clarity. Only then does the boy realize that he had been walking beside a massive lion! The lion was, of course, Aslan. Aslan then began speaking the boy and revealing His working in the boy's life, though he was oblivious to it all.

May we learn to see God when we lie in our dungeons or when we walk in the middle of the desert. May we learn to trust the unseen One in the fog that leads us with nothing more than the whisper of His breathing.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

The Art of Giving and Receiving

This past week I met up with the head rector of my church for lunch and conversation. We discussed a great many things going on in my life and the various decisions that I currently am facing. I shared my frustrations and my concerns about my lack of ministry work since having been in Knoxville and my failed attempt to be involved in a ministry earlier on in the year, to which he gave a response I was not expecting. "God is trying to teach you to receive", he said, "He is balancing you out and not allowing you to give because in giving you have control and in receiving you have none. Learn to receive. It's ok that God has you in this place and it's ok to receive."

These words have taken a good deal of my thinking and pondering this week. He is completely right! It;s is good to be someone who knows how to be giving, but it is also good to be one who can receive when the need is there. It is not an easy thing for me to receive money and gifts, even when I have great need of it; in my pride I often refrain from turning to others for help. This deprives others of the opportunity to show Christ to me, as well as causes me to suffer for my own pride. I am, in a sense, dishonoring the beauty of the Church and not allowing her to function as She should in the world because I brush off help and say "that is for someone in greater need tan I."

At the same time, the church needs to be ready to show love and grace to those in need, especially those within the body of Christ. I remember several years back I was sitting with a few people from my church that I didn't know very well. They were older members of the congregation and,, as far as I knew, very active seekers of God and His will. One of the kids from the small group I led was there with me as well. As we were sitting, a man entered the church and approached us; he asked if he could speak with an elder of the church or the pastor. He explained that he was in great need and was looking for anyone who would help him; he also stated that his own church had denied him any service or aid.

In response I explained that the church did not have "elders" but that I would be more than welcome to direct him to the secretary and he might be able to speak with the head pastor. I directed him to the offices and then returned to me seat. After he had departed, one of the two older members spoke. "I wouldn't DARE show up at a church like that asking for help!", she said, "When I and my husband hit rock bottom I went and found another job and I paid off our bills and I pulled us out of debt! The nerve!" This angered me greatly, but I stayed calm. I tried to reason with her but she would not budge. Lost in her pride, she refused to to even see that the church is the first place a person in need should turn. She was caught up in her own achievements and allowed those to justify her indignite behavior towards the man that came knocking and, in humility, asking for aid.

As far as I know, that man did receive help. Thankfully, the leadership was not as arrogant and and unloving as that woman. We all have areas of our life that we fail in, and we must all go through the process of being purged of our false thinking. I pray that that woman will one day see the errors in her thinking so that she can begin to fulfill the gospel in an even greater way rather than boasting in the false gospel of achievement.

In the same way, I have failed. I have fallen for the false gospel of achievement by seeking to be the giver and by doing deeds to gain favor, rather than doing good simply because I love God or because I love people. Giving out of selfish motivation and self gratification/glorification is just as sinful as the woman belittling the man and boasting of her on achievements.

Love God. Love others as yourself.

These summarize all the law, and when we do these we learn to engage in the art of giving and receiving to/from God and to/from our community of believers.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

10 Minutes that Changed a Life

Many years ago I found myself doing an odd job that involved me driving a van all over Chattanooga delivering flowers for Valentine's day. I took dozens of flowers all over the area. One in particular stood out to me the most and still touches my heart even today.

I approaches this small house on missionary ridge and, as I had with so many houses before, checked thrice to make sure that I had the right address. Once I was certain that I had arrived in the right place I approached the door. An elderly, black woman opened the door and greeted me. I returned the greeting and asked "Are you Ms. Joy?" (pseudonym....duh). She responded with a very confused "yes?", and at it was then that I offered her the flowers.

Her eyes flew open wide with shock and she began stumbling over her words as she asked, "What? What? For ME?! Are you SURE?! Who would send ME flowers?!" As she took the flowers from my hand she began to cry, still asking if I was sure they were hers and if I knew who sent them. She held the flowers close as tears ran down her face in pure happiness from receiving the unexpected Valentine.

Ms. Joy no longer looked at me with confusion and as if I were a stranger. No, I was now embraced with a look that spoke of friendship and love. Though we knew each other not, the barriers of defense and difference had been removed. She hugged me in gratitude and thanked me immensely for delivering the flowers to her. Soon she began sharing the gospel with me and exhorting me to be encouraged to always chase after God's will for my life!

Soon we bid each other farewell and went our separate ways. That 10 minute encounter changed my life. I didn't know who sent the flowers, but I hope that she found that person so as to be able to show her love and gratitude to them as well. I hope they know how much they deeply affected Ms. Joy that day.

There are so many people out there living in utter loneliness. In a world that is so heavily saturated by social media and means of communication, we are beyond "disconnected". The very people in our churches and even our own families go throughout their days in loneliness; they are overwhelmed by the deafening silence. They go un-encouraged and feeling completely out of place in the world. Teenagers cry themselves to sleep at night not knowing whether or not they are loved by their parents; young women give themselves away to advantageous young men who see their craving for affirmation and love. We can change the world, but not by bribes, petitions, force, or hype. No, we change the world through the power of Christ and by the outpouring of the love of Christ. We can restore the Church by just stepping out to love those that we share pews with every week.

It's not Valentine's Day for a couple more months, but that doesn't mean that we can't go out of our way to show love and appreciation to those around us. Perhaps you know of someone who is lonely or in need of some encouragement right now. Why not do some small, random kindness to them so they might know that they are not alone; to let them know that they have not gone unnoticed or unloved? You can touch the life of a lonely, old women, and you might even change a delivery boys life too.

Love God and Love others...

Grace & Peace,

Stephen

Giving Grace

In college, I was forced to wrestle with the attributes of God and His character. A topic of great difficulty for me was the topic of Grace. I believed in the grace of God, but I didn't fully grasp it. Heck I'm still far from fully comprehending the grace of God, but who truly understands any given attribute of God? 

As with most things, we often fail to take such things into balance. We all too often fall to one extreme or another, leaving us acting as if grace doesn't even exists or forgetting that God is also our Judge and will hold us accountable for our actions at all. Sin is evil. God hates sin. There is grace for those who repent. 

God has been reminding me of the importance of grace in my life: recognizing my sinful state, being grateful for the grace that I don't deserve but am given regardless, and accepting with joy the reality that I am called to do the same. Grace and love for all. I am not God, but I represent him on this earth. I am, therefore, called to to speak truth to those I encounter, be honest about sin, and then show grace. 

I often fail to show grace for the small things. When a lot of grace is required I am able to give it, but it's the small subtle actions that shouldn't be so hard to forgive or to show grace for that I struggle with. This is mainly with other people though, grace for family is a much more difficult ground to conquer. In some ways, this feels like a great tragedy. Shouldn't family be the easiest to forgive and to give grace to? For many this may be true, but I do not believe this is the rule, nor do I believe that a struggle to show grace to a family member is any more of an issue than the struggle to give grace to a total stranger. 

Christ taught grace and He displayed this in his eating with tax collectors and talking with prostitutes. He gave Himself to the sinners of this world in ultimate sacrifice for their sins, and this is the love He has for us and it is the love that He demands of us. Thankfully...there is grace! For we are not capable of full and complete love as our God has. We are the fallen: the dark and hideous shadows of creation, and yet God loves us and grants us grace to be able to give grace to others. So next time that guy at work won't shut up and just rants away about stuff he knows nothing about, when that friend shafts you and leaves you high and dry, or that woman behind the counter of the gas station is a total jerk to you,  remember that Christ gave us grace for our sins in entire and that giving grace for minor things as a rude cashier, an annoying co-worker, or a betrayal of a friend is not too big a thing to give. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Ridin' Solo

It is no secret to those who know me that at this time in my life I am making little to no effort to enter into a "serious relationship". This is due to my current financial, spiritual, and all around life status. What most people don't know is that I have been prayerfully considering taking vows of eternal singleness. This is not something that I take lightly or would advise people doing on a whim. to take such a vow must be done with
the realization that breaking it would be detrimental to one's health (and soul) but also is an incredibly

honorable sacrifice to God. One must know their reasons for doing so and be certain that God has not called them to life of marriage. It is a decision that must be made in community and with mentor ship and patience.

That said, I have found that through discussions and seeking advice from friends and mentors, that I do not believe that I am called to singleness. In the very least I will not be taking my vows and I will be keeping an eye open for possibilities. Given that so few people in my life knew that I was considering this, I have found it interesting how several people have come to me to talk about their wrestling with the subject themselves; expressing their contemplation of permanent celibacy.

What exactly does it look like to be a celibate? Let's break this down a little bit. First and foremost, I would advise asking a monk or nun to share their experience in the matter. After all, they most likely are able to describe that life style more than most.

To give up sex is to give up marriage and (this will surprise some people) to give up marriage is to give up sex. Biblically the two coincide. You aren't supposed to have one without the other.

Giving these up means...well, no children. There is an exception to this. There is a young woman in Africa by the name of Katie who has adopted over a dozen children and single handedly is raising those kids. However, you can say goodbye to blood-related children or continuing you're bloodline (which isn't as biog a deal within the context of Christianity).

Altered social life. No double dates. No dates. Life priorities and focus change. Less responsibilities to handle at home, and freedom to go and do stuff at the drop of the hat. Greater risks can be taken, and as a result I would argue that with the loss of home-responsibilities, their is an increase of responsibility outside of one's home and to the church. Having more free time and less priorities doesn't mean you can waste time and resources, it simply means you re direct that time and resources to other areas. This is an area that I am currently not doing well. I am single and I have plenty of free time due to only having a part-time job, and yet I waste so much time and accomplish little more than I would if I had a full-time job.

It is difficult and yet honorable to make such a decision. It is a great testament to people, an inspiration to other believers, and a challenging sacrifice for the self that, I believe, God sees and rewards. However, God also loves marriage. After all, He is the one who established marriage and created the concept of sex and family. To be married is to demonstrate the beautiful union of Christ and Church, as well as greater display the Image of God in us.

I'm going to rabbit trail for a moment. God designed us for intimacy, marriage, parenthood, and sexual union with opposite genders. It is deeply apart of who we are, and is it any wonder why this area of our lives has been so greatly distorted by sin and by the Church? Sexuality is an aspect of humanity that is so greatly misunderstood and misused worldwide and faith-wide. In the Church's desire to bring humanity back into right living and to try and correct the false use of sex, She has often gone to extremes. She either has either made the topic taboo and uneasy to talk about or taught about it with such negativity that people walk away believing that even sex INSIDE of marriage is sinful and disgraceful.

Sadly, much of the Church of late has swung the opposite direction in Her desire to please people and get people in the doors, but this is an affront to the gospel and is false doctrine.

Back to the topic at hand.Too many people are making this decision based off of fear. Fear of commitment and being in a relationship. Fear of being hurt (again) by someone and as a result they throw away all hope of being in a relationship. They fear their abilities to be good parents, or to be a good spouse. These are not good reasons. Instead of shrinking away, use those fears to drive you to be a better person.

Some don't want the responsibility of being a parent or spouse, to which I say you don't deserve marriage and even more importantly, you don't deserve to have sex. Sex is not to be done in such complete selfishness. Sex is for holding marriages together and starting families, not solely for one's self pleasure and entertainment.  If you don't want to bear the responsibility of raising children, don't have sex. If you don't want to care for another person or think of someone other than yourself...then you should consider taking those vows.

For those like me who are currently single, hear me out. Enjoy singleness and don't make rash decisions for or against marriage. Live life as honorable and godly as possible. Pray and seek God and He will direct you to where He wants you to be. Realize that marriage and sex are gifts of God and not shameful or sinful. Pray for the life of the Church and the world that this area of our lives might be brought into submission under our Christ and healing maybe done in us and in others.

Grace and Peace

When Worlds Colide

This past Sunday I was in Chattanooga visiting family, and while I was there I went to my old church. There were several Russians who had flown into the country to be able to go on a retreat that the church had put on over the weekend. During the worship portion of the service, the worship leader called up one of the Russians, who was the worship leader for the church back in their home town, to join him on stage. It was there that I experienced the beauty of hearing "How Great is Our God" sung in RUSSIAN! What was truly beautiful was when all the Russians began singing and, at the same time, the Americans in the room began singing out in English. I was lost in a in the miscellany of voices and the intense combination of language.

In that moment I saw the beautiful side-effects of Pentecost, people of various languages and cultures singing in unison of the glory of God and the wonder of our Christ! This is the beauty of the new covenant! That all peoples and all tongues and all cultures are now welcomed into the fold of God! That the Gospel will infiltrate the fabric of humanity and all men will sing together "Holy Holy Holy Lord, God of power and might. The heavens and the earth are full of Your glory! Hosanna in the highest!" From the East to the West, the Church shall be united once again. From the East to the West Christ will be Glorified. From the East to the West there will be peace, love, prosperity, and an end to injustice, poverty, and evil. All by the power of our God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Who is our "world without end".

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Christianese

Christianese…such a strange language, but it goes far beyond mere words and phrases. No, it’s full of non-verbals and habitual, repetitive actions. So much is communicated through action. Generally, Christianese is sprinkled in various parts of peoples’ language and lifestyles, only coming out in certain place, but occasionally it is possible to find some that have completely drowned themselves in it. Christians have created weird cultures.

Are we not supposed to be different? Are the cultures of the Church not supposed to vastly contrast the cultures of the world?

It is not wrong that the Christian culture is…different. It must not, however, be assumed that all Christian culture is healthy of beneficial. Too much Christian culture goes unchecked and unexamined. Do we not think of the consequences of our actions and trends? When did the Church become soft and about coffee and side-hugs? From congregations who have “no problems” in life to others that are experiencing unending onslaught of turmoil at the hands of Satan himself because they “are getting it right”.

“Dress up before you come.”—“Come as you are” 

“Be reverent”—“be free!”

“Chew gum and we’ll burn you”—“if you don’t leave a coffee stain on our carpet then you haven’t gotten the full experience!”

So what honors God? All culture is broken and sinful. There is no perfect culture, no perfect lifestyle. 

What is…church? I’m not asking about big “C” church. I’m asking about our congregations and faith communities. What is our interaction? What do you think of when you think upon your faith community? Who are they? Why are they? What focus or vision are they promoting? What were faith communities in the era of the early Church and how much of that should we be reflecting? It is a hard question to answer indeed. It’s easy to say “If it was good enough for them then it is good enough for me” or “Since it’s what early Church did than it must be most right.” We forget that the early Church identified with what they did because it was culturally significant. Yes, there were various elements of their worship that separated them from “normal culture”, but it wasn't 100% different. Worship is affected by culture…and culture is affected by worship.

Americans’ worship of “rights” and “fairness” led to where we are. Worship of new, better, faster, and stronger is a disease that is eating away at the soul of our nation and communities. The Church of America has been affected by this attitude! Prayers and proclamations of blessings and good things being spoke over people and sermons on faith for financial peace and stability have multiplied in the church. Perversion of the understanding of salvation and what it means to be an “adopted child of God”.

Or have they? Do I even know what God truly desires of us or how he interacts with us? Who am I to say one thing or another? Does God not reward the faithful and those who seek purity and holiness?

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"The Best is Yet to Come" or "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet!"

Growing up I often heard pastors and preachers say "Hold on, the best is yet to come!" and/or "You ain't seen nothin' yet!" In fact I saw a post on Facebook not too long ago where an individual was boasting about his church being full and said the latter of the two above phrases.

In seeing that post I was forced to ask myself "Is the "best" yet to come?" and "Is it accurate of us to say and think such things?"

We are to expect good from God and look brightly towards the future, but is there something to us saying "look at all this good, but this ain't nothing!" My memory is drawn back to the ending of The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. For those who are unfamiliar with the book, The Last Battle is listed as book #7 of the Chronicles of Narnia series, and my personal favorite. The phrase that stuck out the most was "further up, further in!" which drew attention to the world of New Narnia growing bigger and more beautiful the deeper they traveled in.

In a sense, the best IS yet to come for Christ will one day return and restore all that is broken and recreate the World as it is meant to be: pure and sinless.

Another thought my mind is drawn to in reading this statement is "the best has already come" for Christ came! He came, He died, and He rose again! He established His church on the Earth and paid the price of sin! But, we are still waiting for the work to be completed in the World...so again we are drawn back to Christ coming back.

I guess what really bothers me about the use of this phrase is that it rarely is stated in reference to Christ returning. It is usually being stated in terms of success, blessing (what ever that is), and numbers. It is materialistic based or business based.

I am truly torn in two over this.

We should expect good from God even before the return.
God is not obligated to make things better and we don't deserve better or even "the best".

God is a good Father to His "children" and gives good gifts to them.
Our hearts are perverse and are caught up in the self and material world.

When we say "the best is yet to come" are our hearts on the right things? Are diminishing the good that God has already been given us and devaluing what is already given? I think that we should expect good from God, but our looking and saying that more is on the away is often said in misplaced expectation and is often rooted in a twisted understanding of the Gospel. Let us be careful in our speech and let us search our hearts, asking God to cleanse us by the inspiration of His Holy Spirit, that we might be made pure and holy.

Peace be with you,

Stephen

"From Breaking Chains to Breaking Bread": A Brief Summary

Over the last 5 years I have been an incredible spiritual journey that have deeply affected me emotionally, mentally, and theologically. It began, as such things usually do, quite unexpectedly-like an echo of an echo that knocked on the door of my heart. It was the slight itch at the back of mind. It was the deafening silence that screamed out in a whisper a single word: change. The growing uneasiness that told me "something is wrong" began in the final months of high school, but soon intensified in college.

For the majority of my life, I participated in churches of Pentecostal/charismatic tradition. In high school I became a leader in the youth ministry that I regularly attended and led small groups, taught at retreats, and prayed for other students at altar calls. I actually did this through the entirety of my college years, driving back and forth between Chattanooga and Dayton twice (sometimes trice) a week for 4 years.

I was a tongue talker and I was a "chain breaker"; I always had a bottle of anoitin' oil on hand and I was ready to go to war against "the principalities and powers of darkness." I have been present at two exorcisms, and I have prayed for dozens of people-yelling and screaming "freedom" at them as if my very action of speaking would cause the Spirit to charge into them and chase away all darkness and fix all that was broken instantly right then and there.

I've calmed down quite a bit since my graduation. I have begun participating in a local Anglican church and have found myself quite at home in the theological circles of the traditional and sacramental. This came out my experiences with reformed and traditional Christians that I met at my school, travels to Italy and Jordan where Orthodoxy and Catholicism are both very present in there prospective countries. Through my independent study, personal interactions, and in being forced to engage with various theological paradigms and beliefs due to friends who were also searching, I soon found myself in love with/drawn to this form of Church governmental structure and worship style.

In the end, I found that I could not be Catholic because of my lack of ability to justify belief in the Papal Authority. I loved participating in the Episcopal Church, but I found their theology far too liberal (and the presiding Bishop is a certifiable heretic). In the end, I have found myself in the Anglican circle and plan to be here for the rest of my foreseeable future.

Despite my change in church traditions and my way of viewing the purpose of the church, I still have a great love for those within my previous tradition and I see a lot of beauty among them and their worship. I realize that I now disagree with a lot of the philosophies and methods that they hold to, but I do not think that these differences should prevent us from being unity and from working towards the same goal: showing Christ to the World.

I still have my bottle of anoitin' oil that I carry with me everywhere I go. I still pray in tongues form time to time when I am alone in prayer, and my current tradition leads me to believe even more strongly that words that are spoken have an influence on the world around me. But now I come to church to meet Christ in my participating in Eucharist and in the deep and meaningful worship structure of liturgical worship. I am confident that Christ has led me to this and I am grateful for all that Christ has done in me through this tradition.

And so I leave you with these words: "Life is short and there is but little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be quick to love, and make haste to be kind. In the name of God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."

Peace be with you,

Stephen

"I Covenant..."

This past week I attended a membership class for a church that I have been visiting for the past month or so, and in doing so I was reminded of a friend who once asked me "Why is it so important to join a church?". I think that there are a lot of people out there who ask this same question, and I think the confusion is in the use of the word "membership". What come to my mind when I hear the word membership are golf courses and fancy resorts and clubs. The word screams "rights and privileges", and many people take it as such.

http://asptea.com/dotnetnuke/portals/0/Images/members-only-761118.jpg

"I'm a 'member of this church' and therefore I have the right to vote on who we have as a pastor!"

"My family have been members of this church for generations! If we don't like what you want to do you can leave!"

etc...

The problem is that people have forgotten what it means to be a "member" of a church body. It is not special voting rights, it's not about getting on the priority list for benevolence ministries, nor is it about being able to have your business promoted in the church bulletin. SURPRISE AMERICA! It ain't about you and your stupid "rights"! In fact, you have the "right" to go to hell in a hand-basket, but thank your sorry butt that God took that right away. When you come into Christianity you fall into the greatest monarchy that has ever existed. A monarchy, a Kingdom, that transcends time, space, and the imaginary borders of human politics. You gave up a slavery for servant-hood; unhealthy "freedom" for pure, life-giving liberty.

I was so grateful that the pastor who taught the class this past Sunday brought up this is issue. He equated church "membership" to covenant. But what is a covenant??? Here is a definition from thefreedictionary.com

cov·e·nant  (kv-nnt)
n.
      1. A binding agreement; a compact. See Synonyms -- bargain.
      2. Law
            a. A formal sealed agreement or contract.
            b. A suit to recover damages for violation of such a contract.
      3. In the Bible, God's promise to the human race.

In my joining a Church, I am not taking anything or gaining special rights and privileges. It's not a social club where I pay my dues (tithe) and have special standing as a result. I cannot press this subject enough. In joining a church I am saying:

"I confess my belief in Christ and my adhering to the Nicene and Apostle's Creeds. I will stand in unity with my brothers and sisters, hereby declaring that I will love, protect, care for, and commune with those of this small community within the vast, universal Kingdom of Christ. I will submit to the authority of; create peace and unity within; and give of my gifts, resources, and knowledge for the sake of this community. If I can give, I will. If I can protect, I will. If I can teach, I will. I commit to praying, fasting, and serving with the other members of this body and will not engage in gossip, petty arguments, or unjustified petitions against  other members of this body. I will be an instrument of peace. All this I pledge, knowing that others have pledged the same, but not living in expectation of return. I will seek to not fail in my pledge even if others fail to do the same. All this I pledge according to the mandate laid down by Scripture and the writings of those who have gone before. In the Name of God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."

It is the giving of oneself for others. Woe to anyone who makes such a commitment lightly or with self-centered intent.

If you have joined a church as a member but have not followed through with service, or perhaps you realize that you have had the wrong attitude, it i not too late to change. Start now!

Peace be with you.

Stephen

If You're Going to Look, You Might as Well See

I once heard this quote by G.K. Chesterton that made me shout out "Yes yes yes!" The quote went like this, "The tourist sees what he came to see; the traveler sees all that there is to see." I want to be a traveler and not a tourist. I don't want to just see the fancy, beautiful attractions. I want to see everything! This was how I lived when I lived in the Jordan a couple summers back, and then in Italy the year before.

I wasn't in the Middle East to see the Jordan River or Petra. I was there to truly see; to be apart of the lives of a people group I didn't know and barely understood. When in Rome I was there to see the people, hear the subtle differences in accents from those in Venice
, the difference in clothing and food; I looked for the patterns in the stone road ways just as much as, if not more than, the architectural feat that is the Colosseum.

Upon my returning to the U.S. of blessed A. I found myself struggling to maintain the same mindset that I had in other countries. I was failing to see what I was looking at. People, culture, needs...life was happening right in front in front of me but I didn't "see" it.

This is how many people live their lives. Living as tourists to their lives, here to see what they came to see and not seeing what there is to see. As a result people die without truly being a part of the world around them and without experiencing the fullness of life. By "looking" but not "seeing" we do an injustice to God's creation and to the humanity that we are a part of. We do an disservice to our fellow believers, fellow humans, and even to ourselves.

What are you not seeing? What details are you brushing over? Do you see the painting and not notice the delicacy of each stroke of the brush or the mixture and manipulation of colors that were used to make said painting?

Don't just look....

See.


Peace be with you always,

Stephen.

Freedom and Stability: Worship in a World of Chaos

The world is ever shifting and changing. Life proves to be consistently unstable and often unpredictable. Faith and worship are the anchors that hold us steady as the hurricanes rage against the battered ships of our souls. But just how stable are our anchors and supports? Can the pillars of our faith hold when our world starts to shake? Does our worship of God strengthen those pillars, or does it hollow the infrastructure?

I have been in search of the answer to this question over the course of the last couple years, and while I have not come to an ending conclusion, I do believe that I have made a great deal of discoveries over the past year and would like to share some of those thoughts here and now.

I grew up in the contemporary/Charismatic tradition. I am intimately familiar with "modern" worship services. In my home church, I found music pleasing to listen to, exciting, moving, and LOUD! I loved it all, and I loved how God worked in me through those experiences. I am highly sympathetic to those who choose to worship in these "concert-like" settings and to the styles thereof, but I think that there is an aspect of worship and the Christian life that one is robbed of when they only worships in this form. I am also, however, ashamed of the shallowness of much worship and overly emotional actions of many. Unfortunately, the foci of many within the worships services that I've attended all over the U.S. were erratic and often self-serving as people were more concerned with their "experiences" rather than about God and His truth. I am one of those many people who cared to much about experiencing something and about whether or not I ended up on my knees crying than about adoring God and speaking (or singing) words of truth, honor, and faith.

Again, I do not think charismatic worship is wrong, just incomplete. I was greatly shaped and challenged through charismatic worship as a teenager and I know that God used all of it to make me a better person and to pull me closer to Him. Yet, there was something missing in the midst of it all; I would not grow in Christ as much as I am able to if God had left me there and not begun working on my heart this area of my faith. I believe that worship is less shaped by who we are, and rather that it shapes us. There are those two-faced people who live completely different outside of Church than they would act within, and it is sad that people can live out their lives with a disassociated faith, but I would venture to say that they are still affected by their form of worship.

First, what is worship? thefreedictionary.com gave the following definitions:


wor·ship n.
1.
     a. The reverent love and devotion accorded a deity, an idol, or a sacred object.
     b. The ceremonies, prayers, or other religious forms by which this love is expressed.
2. Ardent devotion; adoration.
3. often Worship Chiefly British Used as a form of address for magistrates, mayors, and certain other dignitaries:
v. wor·shiped or wor·shipped, wor·ship·ing or wor·ship·ping, wor·ships
v.tr.
1. To honor and love as a deity.
2. To regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion. See Synonyms at revere1.
v.intr.
1. To participate in religious rites of worship.
2. To perform an act of worship.

Humans have questioned worship and what is the most "true" form of worship. I once was one of those who argued that true worship involved lots of passion and "freedom" to do what you wanted; that loud, emotional services were what God was most please by. I condemned liturgical worship for being "dry, artificial, and unpleasing to God." I was among those who thought of non-Charismatic worshipers as prideful, starchy Christians who were too arrogant for their own good. I mean how dare they tell us that our form of worship is wrong when it is so obvious that is the ONLY right way to worship! Besides, all those ritualistic words and phrases make "them Catholics" no better than pagans and witches right?!

Wrong.

Liturgical worship is authentic, God-pleasing, beautiful, and freeing. I have heard many critique liturgy and say "I couldn't go to that kind of church cause I have to have my freedom to worship God" without even having the understanding of the depths of worshiping liturgically. There is freedom and life in structured worship that can't be found in some of the more "low-church" settings! Liturgical worship disciples and teaches the doctrines of the church with greater depth and complexity than most of the non-liturgical worship we see throughout the Church today (most of which is actually quite shallow). I have felt the presence of God during a Latin mass just as much as I have in buck-wild Pentecostal Church.

I recently was reading a book in which one of the main characters was being tortured by an evil king who had her beaten with iron rod that had been heated within a furnace. In the book she faces all sort of torments and mental stress, but through the whole thing she focused on rites and rituals. The rituals allowed her to maintain her sanity and to keep from letting her willpower fail. The stability and consistency of liturgical/ritualistic worship helps bring stability to the unstable world we live in. It is an anchor to reality. It is also the way the early church worshiped! As well as the Israelites of the old testament. The book of Psalms contains this form or worship as well.

Both liturgical and non-liturgical worship have important elements to them that benefit the life of the believer. While it isn't about us, I believe God designed that worship be beneficial to the worshiper. There are times where we should worship with all our emotions and lay on our faces with tears pouring from our eyes and loose our grip on our self control so as to, in a way, expose ourselves before God and make ourselves emotionally vulnerable to Him. We should also, however, worship in rich, symbolic rituals of the ancient faith for is strengthens us and disciples us. Worship with  your intellect. Worship in unity with the Church all over the world. Worship in "spirit and in truth". I personally practice both forms continuously throughout the week.

Lastly, stop making it about you! Worship is about God and not about you. It's not about what you want or how you want to worship. Be grateful that you have liberty and that God is not overly strict on the way the Church is to worship, but do not think that it is your right to worship as you deem most right. It is your privilege. Whether you ever cried or not, whether you ever were made aware of the presence of the Holy One or not, you are to worship. Don't condemn others for worshiping in a way that is different than yours and think it as being less pleasing than yours. The fact of the matter is, they very well maybe worshiping far more authentically and God-pleasing than you are.

Institutions, Organizations, and Nations Transcendent of Time, Space, and Petty Arguing

Ok... so you are probably reading this because the long, bizarre name intrigued you. That's the same reason why a lot of people aren't reading this post! haha! Let's begin!!!

Recently, I underwent change of denominations. The majority of my life I spent my time in the pews of a "Church of God" (Of Cleveland, TN). Toward the end of my college experience, God began pulling me out and away from the denomination I grew up in, and he used some pretty intense things to do that! (That's another tale to be told at another time...feel free to ask me about!) For several months I went from church gathering to church gathering, I even took the opportunity to visit denominations that I knew little to nothing about so that I could experience a variety of the Christian expressions! Greek Orthodox, Baptist, Methodist, Episcopal, Anglican, Independent Pentecostal (YIKES!), Messianic Congregation (5...hours...long...and that with me skipping the last part!), Presbyterian, a neo-calvinistic/non-denominational/charismatic church, and Evangelical Free....am I forgetting one???

I grew a lot from this experience, but it also drained me quite a bit. Wandering is not healthy for one's spiritual life. The lack of fellowship and community was also very difficult. After some time I began to be partial to the Anglican community while I was still living in Chattanooga. I also visited the Episcopal church on occasion (primarily to daily Eucharist with my good friend Milez). This leaning led to a lot of questioning and raised eyebrows from friends and family. One member of my family in particular did not seem to happy with my participation with the more "high-church" communities and often said things that conveyed disapproval.

Upon moving to Knoxville I visited several more churches (including a local Anglican church) that caught my fancy, but in the end I landed my choice with a local Evangelical Free Church! To learn more about the EFCA (Evangelical Free Church of America), visit this website! While I do not label myself an E. Free Christian, I do regularly attend and E. Free church. The Anglican Church was a close second.

So why visit so many denominations you may ask.Why choose the denomination I'm in now, you may also be asking. Why do you ask so many questions?!

Well, I do not believe that there is a perfect denomination...ANYWHERE! At the same time I am anti-nondenominational. In fact, I think nondenominationalism (as it is expressed in America) is more unbiblical that denominations. Stick that in your eccleisological pipe and smoke it! The reason being that I believe that denominations help to keep together what nondenoms are destroying...structure and unity.

In the end I could care less about what denomination I am in, so long as the church I attend is seeking to fulfill it's role as a member of the body of Christ, holds to the Apostle's and Nicene Creeds, and that allows me to work within my gifting to edify others. Sure, I have some theological preferences, and I looked out for stuff like that when I was searching for a church, but more because I wanted to be in unity with those I am worshiping with than anything else. How can I be of the utmost use when I theologically disagree with absolutely everything I am hearing from those around me or from the pulpit???

In the end, I chose the E. Free church because in addition to being theologically sound and having, what I would say are, strong biblical foci, as well as plenty of opportunities for me to serve. Additionally, it appeared that this is where God wanted me to be. I found it sad that when I told people where I was going the only question that they thought to ask me was "Do they speak in tongues?"...I'm so glad that people care so much about my spiritual well being enough to ask the REALLY important questions. Forget missions, outreach, community, worship, or whether they are a cult or not...so long as they speak in tongues. Has our understanding of "church" become so shallow? Have we so forgotten our purpose and our function? What has the church become...I think God weeps over us.

Despite my choice to attend an E. Free church, I find myself not telling everyone that they need to go to an E. Free church. Quite frankly, I don't want to be like so Christians out there who evangelize their church more than they do their faith. I know people who are more likely to evangelize you into attending their denomination rather than into the Christian faith as a whole.

"You're Baptist? Oh, well you should come visit my church! It's great"

"You're a Catholic?! I'm just going to assume you're not Christian and in need of Jesus. Let me start by telling you everything about Christ that I know you don't know, because you are obviously so focused on Mary that you probably don't know that she isn't the Christ! Let me start by telling you about this little thing called grace..."

"Oh...you're Church of Christ? My church has real worship!"

"Presbyterian? Did you know that there is this person known as the Holy Spirit?!"

"Church of God...I'm going to just say that you're heretical. Additionally  I'm not going to bother learning anything about you or what you ACTUALLY believe. So take take your modolistic, snake-handling, and unintelligent but to a traditional church that teaches the Trinity." (I experienced this one first hand when I went to college, but not verbatim)

Hopefully you get my point. We are supposed to be of the one and only holy, catholic (universal, not Roman Catholic) church! We are hundreds of thousands of people who are all a part of this nation (kingdom in the more traditional language) of people from hundreds of cultural backgrounds, etc. The Church (notice the capital "c") is a Kingdom of humanity that is not bound by political borders and expressions, time, space, and so on. It exists despite our human flaws and out theological disagreements. there is ONE Chruch with many denominations. Not a thousand Churches. Christ is King over this Kingdom (something that even the Pope will claim), and we in our sin have began to do the same thing that the Apostles did in the presence of Christ-bicker and fight about who is greatest in the kingdom. Who gives a horses patoot?!?!

Lastly, there are many Christians out there that are preaching against Church structures and Church government. Just sit down before you hurt yourself please. You are rebelling against God and are twisting scripture to meet your biased opinions. I'm sorry that you got hurt by some pastor or that the Church of America is not being persecuted to the point of having to meet underground for fear of being slaughtered. Etc, etc, etc. Christ established Church government when we appointed the Apostles, and if I wanted to I could go much deeper into the biblical text and argue further, but chances are you wouldn't listen anyway.

There is a piece of my recent journey as well as my thoughts on denominations. Thanks for reading :)

Peace be with you,

Stephen

Voices: What Does it Mean to be Called?

Today I was reading the book "The Writing Life" by Annie Dillard while drinking coffee at the local Barnes and Nobles. I was struck by Dillard's description what life is like as a writer; moved by her dramatic, metaphorical explanations of "the writing life".

It has been a stark reality of late that nearly everything I read or encounter in my day-to-day life leads me to question my understanding of "callings" and what that implies for my life. It is undeniable ( at least from my observation  that Ms. Dillard is called to be a writer. In seeing her calling, I am compelled to question my own.

While the use of the word "calling" is generally a religious one, it is not a topic that is overlooked by the unbeliever or the pagan worshiper. Christianity has coined the term, even among those who do not hold to a high view of sovereignty. Growing up in the Church, I often heard statements like " have you received the calling?", "How do you know if you are called?", or "What do you believe God is calling you to?"

If you think about it, everyone questions calling. Even if you don't believe in God-it still holds true that there is "calling". Often people ask the following questions (which I believe to be intimately related to the subject of calling): "Who am I?", What do I enjoy?", "What makes me happy?", What is my purpose?", "What am I good at?", "What am I terrible at?", or even "Why is my life the way that it is?"

These are fundamental questions of discovering one's self and figuring out what one's desires to do with his or her life. I believe that they are deeply and strongly connected to this sense of "calling" that is imprinted on our souls.

I could write a whole thesis paper on the topic of calling and ask a thousand philosophical questions on the matter due to how complex this topic real is.

Instead...let me share just a few of the thoughts that came to me as I drank my coffee this morning.

How do we view calling? Do we limit it to Church work and the priesthood? Or do we understand calling in a much more profound way? If we limit "calling" to ministry  then are we not undermining God and His interactions with humanity? Additionally, are we not giving Church leadership an unhealthy elevation and setting ourselves up for disappointment? Many have been given the hearts and skills to lead and minister to people. They are servants of others, not people to be elevated. (A philosophy that I believe is well portrayed in the Anglican tradition specifically, and hopefully will one day be among others as well *cough cough Catholic cough*)

If you had asked me earlier today to explain calling I might have given the following statement:

"The difference between the uncalled blacksmith and the called blacksmith is this. The uncalled smith works hard in misery through blood, sweat, and tears to form and create tools for people so that he can receive money to purchase his wants and desires. The called smith toils and works hard in misery through blood, sweat, and tears for the sheer joy of taking the unshaped Earth, feeling the heat of the furnace as he manipulates the formerly unusable material into something of purpose, whether it be forming tools of beauty or weapons of war. He does not do it for the money, though he will glad receive it to continue doing his desired task, but he will sacrifice for it and pour a little bit of his soul into every thing he makes. Even if he incites angry and/or hatred of his loved ones for not working a field that brings about a more luxurious lifestyle."

I believe that this statement is still true...however, I must rethink my understanding of calling and ask "is there more than one kind of calling in life?" I believe the answer is yes. The is the understanding of calling that implies that one has been give skills, gifts, and talents for the purpose of vocation and purpose for life.


Is calling something that is always enjoyed? No

Is calling always vocational? No

Does everyone have a calling? Yes

Does everyone discover their calling? Yes, but not necessarily before departure from the physical world.


There is, however, another aspect of calling. You are called to be where you are now. Don't believe me? Are you saying that Moses wasn't called to be in the desert before being sent back to Pharaoh? Why? Did God not lead him to his future Father-in-law who would one day help him organize the government for Israel? Did God not lead him to brokenness to be used as a leader? Is not God choosing your family and your time of birth not enough to say that you are where you are because you are called to be there? It used to be understood that your calling was to do the trade that the family you were born to did. Very few did otherwise, and those who did were either in the military or joined the priesthood.

I'm not saying that God ordains every action or movement...I'm saying that God has called humanity to be holy and to be :Christian"; to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves.We who are born into the 21st century are lost in a world of choices and "freedom" to do what we want, but in the midst of it we often miss our calling as members of humanity and Christiandom because we fret over whether we are called our not and look for signs in the stars or for miracles to tell us our fate. Often we even are filled with fear over what our "calling" might be. Was anyone called  to Africa that did not desire to go? God made people in such away that they would desire Hid glory be spread to the far reaches of the world and they went and Africa and Asia became the callings of many.

He gave us desires, gifts, abilities, and His duel command of love...now go in your free will to do the things that he has sovereignly made possible for you to do. That is your calling is it not? Go to love and serve God by worshiping Him and enjoying His creation; loving others in such  a way that it is undeniable that Christ lives within you.

Peace be with you,

Stephen