"When Life Gives You Lemons..."

There is an old saying that goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" The problem is that this metaphor breaks down pretty quickly; unless life also gives you sugar and water then you are pretty much just making lemon juice (a.k.a. you're screwed). The meaning is to take a bad situation and make it good. Better yet, profit from it! What do you do, however, when bad things happen and you can't find the bright side? What happens when you can't turn a profit?

The fact is that when you face tragedy or despair, sometimes you can't just "make lemonade." What is the bright side of a miscarriage? Of a family members death? Of a marriage gone up in flames? These are things that plague our lives and we struggle and fight to smile through these circumstances. Yes, God may use these to grow us and to make us better/holier, but is that reality enough to make us smile? Should it? Should we be able to look at death in the face and say "I'm happy because I know God will use this for my good!"? I'm not so sure that that is what is supposed to be our reaction to struggle.

Anger, sadness/sorrow are emotions that God gave us as gifts to understand the world around us and to process reality. Yet we so often reject these emotions as being holy and pure, writing them off as sinful or as signs of spiritual lacking. "Have faith" some say, and others, "go pray!", but I see few who acknowledge the legitimacy of one's emotions and their role in life. So what do we do?

God called Israel to lament and to mourn. He led His people to have these seasons, and we as the new Israel must do the same. Lent is a set season of lament and mourning, but there are times of intentional lamenting that take place throughout the course of our lives and it is a act we need to more fully embrace, while also not letting it drown us.

What I'm saying is that you can't always make lemonade. Sometimes you just have to drink the lemon juice.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

The Beauty of Ruins

My favorite type of games to play growing up are what are known as "real-strategy games." My brother and I both played these games, but we had very different ways of playing. While he would do what he could to build up his forces quickly and wipe out his opponent without mercy and without patience, I would often do the opposite. I was defensive in my strategies. I loved building up walls and structures and creating strongholds. I wanted to make cities of refuge and flawless defense. Nothing was to get through. I would become frustrated whenever my walls fell or if I experienced invasion. Inevitably, I would lose a match because I would spend all my time and resources trying to keep the walls intact and perfect instead of taking action.

I am but dust...

Turns out that my strategy for playing video games was not so different than my strategy for life. I've lived my entire life as a wall builder and a perfectionist, desperate to keep control over what people see and don't see about me. Wanting to keep myself impenetrable and free of hurt. Wanting to make myself safe and to appear perfect and whole, even when I wasn't. My efforts proved to be in vain time and time again, and yet I never changed my strategy. I followed through with my building castles and fortresses, and over time my walls have been breached, burned, and found wanting.

I am but dust, and to dust I shall return...

What I have realized recently is that God has been playing a significant part in the destruction of my defenses. Why? Because locked away behind my castle doors I would have died of starvation and disease
. I need my defenses destroyed so that I might grow and that I might know Him more. I needed to be free of my own trap and begin living a different life.

I have been humbled. God took my self-perceived perfections and laid them bare. He took the things I was proud of and shattered them before me, revealing the flaws and showing me who I really am...a sinner; a flawed human being in need of grace. He has seem it fit that I might suffer for the sake of being made pure. To not be caught up in perfection and the safety and comfort of control, but instead to be real and to be vulnerable in the ways He wants me to be. Vulnerable that I might provide love, healing, and shelter for others who are in pain and in need. I can't reach out to other and run to their aid when I'm too busy cowering behind my whitewashed walls.

 I am but dust, and to dust I shall return. Lord...

I have found beauty in the ruins of my soul. In my destruction I am being made into place of refuge. My greatest defense must be God, not my works and my efforts; not my reputation or in opinions. My greatest good is God and my perfection is Him and Him alone. Let the storm come; let the walls be obliterated and my ivory towers break. I know It is for my strengthening and my purging. Let them fall. I know my God is with me and He won't abandon me. Take what I have, I deserve none of it anyway.

I am but dust...
And to dust I shall return...
Lord, Make haste to save...

Where Dusk Meets the Dawn

Some days I think I got stuff figured out; that I've discovered the attitude and mindset that one should bear to experience fullness of growth and live most submitted to the will of God. In my defense, I've never claimed to be without pride haha. Every time I get to the point where I think "Oh man, I think I got it this time!" God is like "NOPE! Good try though!", and then I'm back at the drawing board.

Today is one of those days where I am struck with the realization that I definitely don't know everything, and also a day where I realize that I haven't quite dealt with some stuff that I thought I had! It's subtle experiences and revelations that keep life interesting. They slip in and the world changes!

Today I am filled with awe as I meditate on my relationship with God. I recognize a dissonance in my heart toward the cliche word "relationship". Partially because the word is incredibly overused, but another is that it seems so...limiting. The word cannot grasp the depth of what it is to know God and be known by God. At least, it doesn't seem to.

I have come to the conclusion that the question "how is your relationship with God?" is a very poor one to ask. I have found that a better question would be "how are you doing spiritually?" or "What has spiritual discipline been looking like for you lately?" These are questions that more accurately portray what is being asked and provides better insight into one's interaction with God and much more informative of the soul's formation.

To describe one's relationship with God is so difficult compared to a relationship with another human being. It is the colors of daytime mixed with the solitude and peace of the country. It is the ocean waves crashing against the sand; the wind rushing over grassy plains. It is where city meets country. It is dawn and dusk all in one. It is a divine dance of romance; of joy and of sorrow. To be in a "relationship" with the great, eternal Being that created everything, who loves perfectly and is perfectly trustworthy...it is an incredibly one sided relationship indeed.

I cannot describe God, so why would I think that I can capture what it is to be loved by Him or to live life alongside Him? I can't even begin to understand why He causes or allows certain events and circumstances to occur, so why do I believe I can define it or create a formula for spirituality?

I used to believe that the heart of God was found in Israel, in a certain biological and political grouping of humanity and Christians were an add on. I was wrong, the heart of God is humanity as a whole! It's in the individual person and in the gathering of people. His heart is us. Is delight is in us! In our broken, marred, and disgusting state He loves and delights in us! He craves and pursues humanity, allowing us to experience His glory and love, though we deserve annihilation.

How great and magnificent is our God above all other gods?! How pure and loving and majestic is He who sacrificed Himself to Himself to pay a debt that was not His and to bring forth reconciliation on our behalf when we were found incapable of doing so ourselves!

Perhaps you are going through a time of sorrow and it is difficult to see God in the midst of the shadows of life. Even the darkness whispers of the love of God. I find that this is often the case for me as well, but I have found that God has never left me and it is in the shadows that He reveals His healing light. Do not fear the darkness for Christ is with you. Do not fret the valley for it does not last forever, and when you breach the mist and walk out of the the crevice of death you will find Him there and He will give you peace.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"Why not?!"

Everyone knows that Christians are just weird conservatives who just like imposing their rules and stupid regulations on others. I mean, that IS what they are right? Just a bunch of rules...stupid things that make no sense and are just "anti-fun"! Why in Jupiter would I want to follow these rules?


This seems to be the mindset of many people I have interacted with over the years, including some of the youth that I've had the privilege of serving these last several years. Some even find the law and salvation to be contradictory in the Bible. I had one of my most beloved youth once say to me that he knows that "the Bible says that if you believe in Jesus you will be saved, but as I keep looking I see more and more rules and restraints" and somehow this causes tension for him. There are many who want salvation without rules, and many say that they can not see how we are saved if we still have to follow rules. 


The first error is a misunderstanding of salvation, and the second is a misunderstanding of the "law".

According to scripture, salvation is Christ redeeming us from the bondage of sin and from the "curse of the law." It is the bestowing of grace form the hand of a sovereign God to His non-sovereign, yet free-will enabled, creation. Salvation is given to the elected humanity that respond to the Spirit of God as He calls him or her out of darkness.

The law of God is another situation altogether. The "law" seems harsh, difficult, and even contradictory to the doctrine of grace and salvation. To those who stand on the outside looking in, or simply have a misunderstanding of the law, it is cruel and stands like jagged spires waiting to shred the souls of all who dare draw close. Yet, to those who have been graced with salvation and draw near to the goodness of God, the law encircles the mind, heart, and soul of the believer and provides a place of shelter and rest.

We follow the law because ultimately sin will destroy us. Sin is contrary to our original design and is contrary to the divine nature of God. We do not sin because God said so, but He did not just instate rules and regulations to "suck away our fun." He did it for our protection, our prosperity, and our health physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The "Ten Commandments" alone provide regulations for society and for economic growth. Theft, envy, and lying will break down any economic system and lead to suffering. Socially, the same three cause suffering and break down community due to lack of trust. Common sense tells us that worshiping God and ONLY God will foster spiritual growth and a closeness to God almighty. Not a single law that is given is done so without a purpose or meaning, and as gentiles living under the New Covenant we are awakened to the beauty of the "Spirit of the law" as opposed to the "Letter of the law." We must be awakened to the freeing power of the law for us as believers.


Freedom is not living with the complete lack of rules and regulations, but instead it is living within the rules and regulations that fit with the persons nature and provide liberty. For those who are non-redeemed, the law does not provide liberty because their nature is tainted and flawed by sin; therefore, they hate the law and are unable to fulfill the law, for it seems impossible, cold, and as if it desires to destroy all "pleasure" and "fun" in one's life. For us who are experiencing the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, our natures are being restored and we can, therefore, live in the joy, peace, and rest that the law instills within us.