Encouraged by Frustration

"You can't save them you know." 

These words echoed in my soul for hours. I had no idea that as I walked into the dining hall that I would stumble into a conversation with one of the campus counselors. I also did not know that I would be talking about my soul rather than those of my Littles. I did not know that in a brief moment of conversation that I would have my defenses and masks swept away and that I would be left to deal the reality of my limitations and, ultimately, leave encouraged and affirmed.

This was neither the first, nor the last, spontaneous conversation of encouragement and honest that I received this past week. Even though I did not want to be exposed and to become unraveled, it was necessary for my heart and health so that I might persevere. 

My frustrations over the last couple days, as the counselor noted, were not out of petty thinking or sin or out of being a failure. They were, in fact, a result of good things. I have poured myself out and I have given myself in full to the task at hand; to helping teens and to loving them with all that I have. This past week, however, has been full of negative events and a great deal of "firsts" that I wasn't expecting and that I had not the time to process. So naturally I felt the tension and frustration that came with, what appeared to be, regression. 

"Just walk with them. Take care of yourself, and continue to love them."

I told the counselor of the things that I was dealing with and how I felt like I was not succeeding in my task to love them well. Additionally, I shared my concerns about where I was lacking and how much I hated that my limitations and how I was quickly all these limitations. To which she responded, in loving sarcasm, "Oh, you're human? You can't work here. Sorry, only super-humans can be Bigs" Oh man! Talk about getting a slap of reality! No one is perfect, and being down or frustrated not a bad thing. For me, it become the evidence of my working hard and of my giving my all. In the midst of giving my all, however, I forgot that I'm not Superman. 

"Just walk through life with them."

Christ doesn't call us to be perfect. He calls us to love and to seek Him. He calls us to walk alongside the hurting as the take this journey called Life and to say "Hey, I love you and God loves you. Don't quit." You don't have to be perfect to do that. There is room to be frustrated and to make mistakes and that...that is encouraging.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Tattooed Encouragement

Encouragement can come from the strangest of places. Lately I have found myself incredibly discouraged and overwhelmed with the many aspects of my life. New challenges (and a couple old ones) are presenting themselves in my life. I find myself incredibly frustrated with myself and life, and I return to the age of old question "God, what are you doing in all of this?"

God doesn't always give us an answer, and when He does He may be so incredibly vague that we doubt it was Him or we become angry for Him not giving straight answers. I know that this is especially true for my life. God doesn't give me straight answers, and He often doesn't appear to answer at all. He let's me do a lot of the work and choosing. He gave us gifts, talents, desires, etc. but we often get stuck in the trap of the enemy that tells us that we have to hear some divine revelation out of heaven to know what to do.

Today I was wrestling with the pressures, trials, and challenges of my heart. I came to Starbucks because I wanted to stop thinking about it and seek to overcome it with action. As I sat down, filled with uncertainty and discouragement, I noticed a tattoo on the back of the girl sitting in front of me that stated "This too shall pass."

These words have been significant for me over the years and I have often found myself encouraged by them on many occasions; here in the midst of my struggle I randomly find these words staring me in the face form the back of a complete stranger. How crazy it is that we travel the paths of life and have these bizarre, timely encounters. Some may call it providence, others may call it coincidence...either way, God stepped in to my circumstance in that very moment and spoke to my heart. "This too shall pass..."

When we are overwhelmed with the world, when darkness comes and shadows threaten to swallow is whole, and when it seems like God has abandoned you and doesn't care, remember this: It is the small things in life that God uses to remind us that He is with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us and He is often showing us His love and presence, but we just fail to see it. In our biggest struggle we experience confusion and it is in those moments that we often we expect answers form God. It is more often than not, however, that instead of giving us a sermon or straight talk about our issues and simply reaches down to hold our hands instead.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

10 Minutes that Changed a Life

Many years ago I found myself doing an odd job that involved me driving a van all over Chattanooga delivering flowers for Valentine's day. I took dozens of flowers all over the area. One in particular stood out to me the most and still touches my heart even today.

I approaches this small house on missionary ridge and, as I had with so many houses before, checked thrice to make sure that I had the right address. Once I was certain that I had arrived in the right place I approached the door. An elderly, black woman opened the door and greeted me. I returned the greeting and asked "Are you Ms. Joy?" (pseudonym....duh). She responded with a very confused "yes?", and at it was then that I offered her the flowers.

Her eyes flew open wide with shock and she began stumbling over her words as she asked, "What? What? For ME?! Are you SURE?! Who would send ME flowers?!" As she took the flowers from my hand she began to cry, still asking if I was sure they were hers and if I knew who sent them. She held the flowers close as tears ran down her face in pure happiness from receiving the unexpected Valentine.

Ms. Joy no longer looked at me with confusion and as if I were a stranger. No, I was now embraced with a look that spoke of friendship and love. Though we knew each other not, the barriers of defense and difference had been removed. She hugged me in gratitude and thanked me immensely for delivering the flowers to her. Soon she began sharing the gospel with me and exhorting me to be encouraged to always chase after God's will for my life!

Soon we bid each other farewell and went our separate ways. That 10 minute encounter changed my life. I didn't know who sent the flowers, but I hope that she found that person so as to be able to show her love and gratitude to them as well. I hope they know how much they deeply affected Ms. Joy that day.

There are so many people out there living in utter loneliness. In a world that is so heavily saturated by social media and means of communication, we are beyond "disconnected". The very people in our churches and even our own families go throughout their days in loneliness; they are overwhelmed by the deafening silence. They go un-encouraged and feeling completely out of place in the world. Teenagers cry themselves to sleep at night not knowing whether or not they are loved by their parents; young women give themselves away to advantageous young men who see their craving for affirmation and love. We can change the world, but not by bribes, petitions, force, or hype. No, we change the world through the power of Christ and by the outpouring of the love of Christ. We can restore the Church by just stepping out to love those that we share pews with every week.

It's not Valentine's Day for a couple more months, but that doesn't mean that we can't go out of our way to show love and appreciation to those around us. Perhaps you know of someone who is lonely or in need of some encouragement right now. Why not do some small, random kindness to them so they might know that they are not alone; to let them know that they have not gone unnoticed or unloved? You can touch the life of a lonely, old women, and you might even change a delivery boys life too.

Love God and Love others...

Grace & Peace,

Stephen