At the Heart of the Matter

It's hard to love people well some days. After giving a thousand reminders to complete one task or another, giving all that you have just to hear someone say that it isn't enough, or redirecting a student for the same thing that you have had to redirect him for every day for the past month it can become borderline impossible to love people.

You ask, "Am I not loved? Am I not wanted?"

Trap set. Slowly step in. Snagged. 

Pride and self-service engaged. 

When I'm really tired and facing the trials of residential service, I have a tendency to reach a point where I stop focusing on why I'm in the industry to begin with. I lose motivation and become locked up in myself. "I don't get enough off time", "I'm not appreciated for what I do so obviously I'm not needed or wanted here", and "I'm not being supported" are all cries for help that actually dance around the real issues at hand. I hear staff say it all the time, but the fact is that even after 2 years of working in the same field I too still fall into that same trap they do. 

I make the mistake of misplacing the source of my own value and I too forget the reason I move half way across the country: to love and serve teens in need. 

Not a simple or incredibly joy-filled position really. It's easy to love destitute, impoverish children in foreign lands for a week, but middle to upper class white boys with entitlement and a set of clothes valued higher than your monthly pay for months and months at a time? Nah. 

That's rough. There isn't glory and prestige in that. There is often very little recognition for it either. But it is beautiful and needed. The important things usually come with some form of discomfort.

Just as the farmer battles the Sun and pestilence & the sea-man wars against the wind and the waves, so must I navigate the struggles of loving others in spite of their false-beliefs and tendencies to cave into negative peer pressure.

Do I feel unappreciated? Yes. Is that the real issue? No. The real issue is that I'm tired and I really just want to see that all my effort isn't for nothing. I want to know that I'm spending my time and energy well and not wasting anything. I want to know that my boys are going to go back to their homes and live successful lives and be happy, and I want to enjoy the fullness of community and relationship with them and others around me. Those are the real issues.

Ultimately I crave to love others well, and when I remember that and set my heart back in line I find that I do just that. Then I am healthy; then I am happy.

Grace and Peace,
Stephen

Failing with Community

Last week I was talking to a close friend and he was expressing a great deal of pain over having  lost a job that he put forth a significant amount of effort and time to keep. He refused to tell anyone in the church he was attending or any of his closest friends in the area, save for me, what had happened. There in a car steadily cruising down 4th street, he spilled many bitter tears and he said, "I can't face them...I can't tell them that I failed."

As I sat in the car with him I felt my heart break with him. Sadly, I had not the words to encourage him. In fact, it seemed as though he simply would not hear the words I had to say. Sentences worked their way past my teeth as I tried to share and partake in his burden, to be there with him, but every time  I was thwarted in my attempt at being a friend and member of his community with words of pain that stated "you don't understand!", "I'm not like you, I'm not as smart as you", "I can't let them know, I just can't!", etc. It is not a shocker though. This is a common issue. I've seen this my entire life, and I have often behaved the same way. How do you tell the people you love and respect that you failed? How do you face disappointing those you look up to?

There lies a flaw in our understanding of relationship and community. In fact, the answer to my friend's struggle was simple. He merely had to remember that the ones that he held close in community love him. That's huge! It makes all the difference in the world to remember that the ones we love do love us in return. If they do not love us and respect us, then what reason have we to want to please them? And if they truly love us, then why must we fear their response at our failing?

Failure is an element of life that everyone experiences and every one hates, but not everyone deals with it well. I have personally struggled with the harshness of failure, even though since I was but a child I have struggled and fought to avoid failure. Sadly this left me refusing to partaking in activities or taking risks because of my fear of failure and overwhelming desire to avoid it.

Community-true community- exists as a living organism of relationship and love. This means that community is our primary source of support when we do fail, and if community fails to be there for us in the darkest eras of our lives, then it is a false community. Know and be known-that is the prerogative of community. If we are their for others in their pains, but refuse to share our own then we are knowing but not being known. Community shares the joys and the sufferings of life; not just the joys. If we choose not to share our sufferings with our communities, then we are guilty of denying them the fullness of ourselves in community; we become the wound, the void in that living organism. We deny them the right of knowing us fully, but even worse is the denial of the opportunity to be Christ in our lives!

If my friend could move past his fear and his pride, he could be dwelling in a place of security, safety, and love. Now, don't think I'm being insensitive to my friend. I recognize how hard it is to open up and be vulnerable, and I'm glad that he shared his pain with me! It is important to understand, however, that if he would only reach out to the rest of his community in which he has previously been so intimately connected with, he would experience the healing and support of community that is of Christ; through which Christ would speak to his heart and bring him life, encouragement, and love! I speak from experience in this matter, having refused to turn to others in the midst of darkness. As a result, I suffered more than was necessary and left myself susceptible to prolonged, undue sorrow; discouragement; and loneliness.

Remember, if your community truly loves you then they will want to be there for you! In fact, they might even find themselves hurt by your refusing to share. If they are not willing to be their for you or show you live, then it is time to recognize that you are in a false community and it is time to move on to find a true community of believers.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

The Art of Giving and Receiving

This past week I met up with the head rector of my church for lunch and conversation. We discussed a great many things going on in my life and the various decisions that I currently am facing. I shared my frustrations and my concerns about my lack of ministry work since having been in Knoxville and my failed attempt to be involved in a ministry earlier on in the year, to which he gave a response I was not expecting. "God is trying to teach you to receive", he said, "He is balancing you out and not allowing you to give because in giving you have control and in receiving you have none. Learn to receive. It's ok that God has you in this place and it's ok to receive."

These words have taken a good deal of my thinking and pondering this week. He is completely right! It;s is good to be someone who knows how to be giving, but it is also good to be one who can receive when the need is there. It is not an easy thing for me to receive money and gifts, even when I have great need of it; in my pride I often refrain from turning to others for help. This deprives others of the opportunity to show Christ to me, as well as causes me to suffer for my own pride. I am, in a sense, dishonoring the beauty of the Church and not allowing her to function as She should in the world because I brush off help and say "that is for someone in greater need tan I."

At the same time, the church needs to be ready to show love and grace to those in need, especially those within the body of Christ. I remember several years back I was sitting with a few people from my church that I didn't know very well. They were older members of the congregation and,, as far as I knew, very active seekers of God and His will. One of the kids from the small group I led was there with me as well. As we were sitting, a man entered the church and approached us; he asked if he could speak with an elder of the church or the pastor. He explained that he was in great need and was looking for anyone who would help him; he also stated that his own church had denied him any service or aid.

In response I explained that the church did not have "elders" but that I would be more than welcome to direct him to the secretary and he might be able to speak with the head pastor. I directed him to the offices and then returned to me seat. After he had departed, one of the two older members spoke. "I wouldn't DARE show up at a church like that asking for help!", she said, "When I and my husband hit rock bottom I went and found another job and I paid off our bills and I pulled us out of debt! The nerve!" This angered me greatly, but I stayed calm. I tried to reason with her but she would not budge. Lost in her pride, she refused to to even see that the church is the first place a person in need should turn. She was caught up in her own achievements and allowed those to justify her indignite behavior towards the man that came knocking and, in humility, asking for aid.

As far as I know, that man did receive help. Thankfully, the leadership was not as arrogant and and unloving as that woman. We all have areas of our life that we fail in, and we must all go through the process of being purged of our false thinking. I pray that that woman will one day see the errors in her thinking so that she can begin to fulfill the gospel in an even greater way rather than boasting in the false gospel of achievement.

In the same way, I have failed. I have fallen for the false gospel of achievement by seeking to be the giver and by doing deeds to gain favor, rather than doing good simply because I love God or because I love people. Giving out of selfish motivation and self gratification/glorification is just as sinful as the woman belittling the man and boasting of her on achievements.

Love God. Love others as yourself.

These summarize all the law, and when we do these we learn to engage in the art of giving and receiving to/from God and to/from our community of believers.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

The Fourth

I have a unique collection of friends. One of my circles is summed up by three of my closest male friends, Matt, Myles, and Tiller. Each one has a different perspective of the world and Christian thought. One thing I like to brag about when speaking of my friends is their great intellect and vast stores of theological knowledge-each one containing a piece of puzzle.

Tiller-caught up in the beauty of historical theology and tradition-can talk for hours on the thoughts and practices of early church fathers, who are often neglected and forgotten by mainstream Protestantism and small Christian circles.

Matt-lover of systematic theology-searches for weaknesses in Theological paradigms and seeks to construct a theology that is logical, flows, and is consistent.

Myles-prodigy of the biblical languages-doesn't come to conclusion without first consulting the semantics of the ancient speakers of Greek and Hebrew. His theology is greatly shaped by wording and format of the ancient text that most of us miss because of our limitation to English.

Where do I fall into all this?

Me. It has often been pointed out to me that I live, move, and breathe within the realm of practical theology. I have often tried to be good at the other three forms that my friends bear, but this is a terrible injustice to them, to the world, and to myself. In trying to be the highly logical, historical, or philosophical theologian, I have neglect that which I am gifted in naturally.

I'm not saying that I cannot engage in the other three forms or that I am not good at them. I am logical and philosophical, but I have lost my focus and have been someone other than myself in an attempt to sound intelligent and to imitate others. I could think about the deep things of God, I can have all the best theological arguments, and I can teach every theological construct with clarity and simplicity, but if I don't have love and if I do not take action to push back the growing darkness then I am nothing and only making noise. If my studies don't lead to charity, compassion, excellence, and service I have ultimately failed and my thinking and reading have been in vain.

In terms of theology, logic, and knowledge I am the least among my three friends. I am the fourth. In terms of necessity and purpose I am in equality with them, and it is vital that I act upon my gifting and live out the person God has wired me to be, not letting fear, pride, and insecurity prevent me from honoring God in this way.

Grace and Peace. 

The Life of Clay

Isaiah 45:9-19English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)9 “Woe to him who strives with him who formed him,    a pot among earthen pots!Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’    or ‘Your work has no handles’?10 Woe to him who says to a father, ‘What are you begetting?’    or to a woman, ‘With what are you in labour?’”11 Thus says the Lord,    the Holy One of Israel, and the one who formed him:“Ask me of things to come;    will you command me concerning my children and the work of my hands?[a]12 I made the earth    and created man on it;it was my hands that stretched out the heavens,    and I commanded all their host.13 I have stirred him up in righteousness,    and I will make all his ways level;he shall build my city    and set my exiles free,not for price or reward,”    says the Lord of hosts.

Recently, I was praying about life and, essentially, complaining to God that everything in my life was wrong. I was, more or less, accusing Him of all that has befallen me and the various aspects of reality that I have had to endure. Truthfully, I have done this for quite some time. It is so easy to begin complaining. It is one thing to share with God what you are going through, but there is a thin lines that separates the prayer said in broken honest and the prayer spoken in bitterness and accusation.

During this same time of prayer I was struck with the memory of the verse stated above. It was then that I was hit with conviction. Recently I was asked "What is [my] relationship with Christ?", to which I was a little insulted and wanted to respond with "He is my God and I am His creation." In my patience I refrained from stating so, but the thought continued to echo in my mind. He is God...and I am His creation. God brought this thought back into my mind as I was praying and combined it with the memory of the words of Isaiah. In the moment I got a divine slap in the face and a fist full of humility. It is not my place to accuse God or to Question His actions in my life. My job is simple: Love Him and love people.

I am to live life and not ask God "why are you doing this to me?" with any other attitude than one of humility and a desire to know the heart of God. So for now, my goal is stop asking "why?" and let Him fashion me. To go and live my life, trusting that He is going to direct my paths.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths" --Proverbs 3:5-6

Grace and Peace,

Stephen 

The Risk of Logic and Academia

In my 23 short years of life, I have had the privilege of reading, listening, and interacting with hundreds of Christians. I grew up in the Church of God of Cleveland, the denomination identified by it's Pentecostal roots and their...rather excitable worship services. My worldview was formed around the paradigm of the CoG and it has had a significant affect on my current worldview.

When I left for college I was asked many times if I was going to go to Lee University, a nearby college associated with the CoG. I replied, "No I'm going to Bryan", which always got me the response "oh, isn't that a Baptist school?" or "But aren't they Presbyterian?" Quickly I would respond with "they're non-denom" so that I could save face and reassure my fellow church members that I wasn't going to a school that taught "false teaching" of the Holy Spirit and that I wasn't going to fall away from Pentecostalism. Once I got to Bryan, however, God took me through a journey that I would never forget.

Life is not always as "black and white" as we would like. There are not always clear cut answers, especially when it comes to spiritual matters and Christianity. Many people don't like this...not at all. I am one of those people. I like clear cut answers, but experience has left me questioning clear cut answers whenever they arise.  Within many church paradigms, including the one I formally associated myself with, academics and theological pursuit are looked down upon. Why?  I think that there are a lot of answers to this. The most obvious one being pride, but one of the most significant ones is comfort.

Health, wealth, and prosperity teaching come out of this, as does a lot of "seeker friendly" churches. I had a friend of mine tell me of a church that bothered him greatly because the pastor consistently stated he wanted a church that didn't feel like church and that anyone could walk in off the streets and understand whats going on. He wanted everyone to feel comfortable. As a result the pastor sacrificed deep teaching and discipleship for foolish, American Christianity.

Another reason, which is related to the first, is the false belief that if someone is wrong about one thing, they are wrong about everything. No one really says that they believe this, but it's evident in their actions. For example, "Catholics are wrong about their beliefs about Mary, so Catholicism as a whole is a cult and should be rejected" False. It's funny that if Pentecostals and Catholics took the time to compare beliefs they would actually find that they are closer in theology than they think, especially in terms of the role of the Holy Spirit and His influence in our lives.

No one wants to be wrong, and many are afraid that if they are wrong about one thing then they are about everything. I had this fear as a college freshman who found out that there was strong biblical evidence for predestination, as well as for a high view of sacraments. I found out that Catholics were Christians and that there were people making a difference who never spoke in tongues or "fell out in the Spirit". Christianity was not what I thought it was, and my world was shaken by it. I had to realize that I didn't have everything wrong just because I didn't have everything right! No one is 100% accurate.

The risk of being logical and academically honest is having to question ones upbringing and to be willing to take a hit to one's pride for the sake of seeking truth. To ignore logic and to reject intellectual study of the scriptures and of God is just as sinful as rejecting emotions within worship and not being sensitive to the workings of the Spirit in our lives.

If you were not taught to be logical or to question your beliefs and understanding of scripture it is never too late to start. Don't, however, seek to do it all alone. We grow and learn from others and from community of thought and interaction. Be honest. Be logical. Ask questions.

Peace be with you,

Stephen

Church Math

It's amazing that there aren't more mathematicians coming out of the Church these days. In recent years, Christians seem to have become really good at doing math! Pastors are always talking about addition and increase in peoples finances. In many baptist churches, people are incredibly involved in the budgeting and Christians all across America understand percentages (and usually make sure that they hit exactly 10%; making sure to give enough to please God but not too much so as to seem generous).

I can't tell you how many times I've heard pastors talk about the Church getting better at multiplication, but Google tells me that, at forty-one thousand denominations, it is more accurate to say that the Church has mastered division.

Legalistic teaching has led people to subtracting from their lives things that God does not really want removed, and adding rules and restrictions that imply a works based grace. Many have even claimed to reach a state of sanctification which is squarely rooted in pride and ignorance. Pastors are too busy formulating services and sermons to draw people in and make them happy because they are too concerned with the quantity in the pews and not the quality in the classrooms.

I think it's funny how so many Protestants get angry about cathedrals that display a lofty expression of love for God, while so many aren't willing to give to the poor or even pay their "tithes and offerings". People to busy pointing figures to point other people's flaws when they haven't even gotten close to getting the equation right themselves.

When the positives and the negatives all even out, there is nothing there to brag about. All that's left is a dead, stagnant body that has found it's medium and become lukewarm.

The problem is not the Church's math, but instead it's their application. God didn't call us to live in health, wealth, and prosperity. He called us to live holy. He made us to govern creation, to love Him and to love others. He already laid out a paradigm for us to follow in His scriptures.

Hopeful and Numb

Recently, I was listening to top 40 radio and I noticed an interesting trend. Apart from Adele, the majority of music that you will here will consist of partying, sex, lyrics about how "fly" someone is and how amazing they are, avoiding problems in life and just enjoying the moment, or just complete nonsense (*cough cough* Nikki Minaj cough*).

It seems that having depth or meaning to a song is no longer necessary for it to be good. So long as it has a good beat and one can escape their own reality for a moment, then it's all good. I'm amazed at the crudeness of some songs like "Whistle" by Flo Rida, which totally shows disrespect for women and degrades the value of sex...but who  surprised? America devalued sex roughly four decades ago. Whet really boggles my mind is that there are people that actually listen to this junk. Don't get me wrong, there are songs that I hear on top 40 radio that I quite enjoy listening to, and actually brings benefit to my life. Like Adele who expresses depth and true emotion, or the song "Titanium" that is full of emotion and strength. 

The thing is that people have turned to music to escape, to feel numb to the pain they are experiencing and to gain hope for the future. I fear that this is having a very profound affect on the minds of Americans, as well as others in the world who listen to them. Hope, true hope that brings about an end worth having is only found in Christ, but it isn't wrong to have a little boost from music either...so long as that "hope" isn't rooted in pride and false conception of one's self. 

Music is a gift, can we please stop abusing it by putting "artists" on the stage who can't do anything more than talk about themselves and all the people they have slept with? Perhaps we can even get singers who sound good without the aid of a computer! Ok ok...you're right...one miracle at a time...

Ignorance and Pride

Last night I was sitting with a friend of mine and we were discussing the Church, talking about how different Christians and/or denominations get fixated on a certain theological issue and that "denominations cause division". Our conclusion on the issue was that people are so divided in the Church because of ignorance and pride. Ignorance results in them performing actions that are unbiblical or results in a severe disdain and "protest" of another doctrine or even form of worship. For example, I think that the Protestant Church is primarily ignorant of the things within the Catholic Church. I've learned this from time spent in research and in deep discussion with my friend Tiller. Additionally, our pride locks us up in our ignorance and keeps us from admitting error in our theology or even exploring other traditions of thought! It's really quite sad.

When I got to Bryan College as a freshman, I dreaded telling people that I was a member of the Church of God. Immediately, their pride rose up and began to oppose me. I had people thinking that that I didn't believe in the Trinity and that I handled snakes on a weekly basis. I was told that I didn't know how to read the bible (which wasn't untrue, but not for the reasons they claimed) and accused of being extremely prideful (again, not untrue but not for the reasons they stated). Every Calvinist I came across wanted to attack what I believed, and everyone wanted to prove that tongues doesn't exist anymore.

I am more or less a Calvinist now, but I still believe in tongues. Quite frankly I probably would have come to my theological standpoint a lot sooner if it hadn't been for the pride and ignorance of those people who tried so hard to change the way I thought. I was sickened by them and I even told my friend Myles, "how can they be right when they are so prideful and malicious?" If such lines of thought led to that insensitivity to the Spirit and a lack of spiritual change, then I didn't want it. Thank God that He has led me away from my own pride and helped to set up within me the wonderful ability to love and to be sensitive to others paradigms and histories and so forth.

I pray that God will eliminate pride in the Church...so that maybe ignorance can begin to be obliterated.

Peace be upon you all,

Stephen

A House Divided

"The truth resolves somethings, and adds difficulty to others."                                              -A.W.Tozer

The last couple of days has been quite the emotional trip, but this morning I read this quote and was given a measure of hope. It seemed like it was just the thing i needed to hear to help my troubled mind. You see, a great number of people within my overall community structure have been at war over "getting out the truth" and engaging in (sometimes heated) debates over what should or should not be exposed. At first I wanted to name this post "Give me Justice or Give Me Journalism!", but then I decided that that is not the route I wanted to take with my post. Besides...what was done in the name of journalism can hardly be labeled as such. That's beside the point.

The point is that there has been a line drawn and people have taken sides. Who's right? Who's wrong? Well, if we looked at it honestly and without bias (not an easy task mind you), and tried to look at the whole situation holistically...the answer to both questions is...well..."both" haha. Both parties are right...and both are wrong.

Now before someone leaves a comment saying this is a cop out answer or yells "What the *bleep*?" at me, let me explain.

Granted, I think that one party is more "right" than the other, but if we all would just shut up for just a moment and let down our barriers of pride and self-righteousness...then we could begin to see a little more clearly what the other group is saying.  Both sides have at least one valid point to make and something that can be learned from the other.

I think that key things for us to learn here are:

• Respect for those we have put ourselves under/God has put over us. 
• Respect for those who have a differing opinion and the decency to listen well before making a rebuttal. 
• Realization that just because someone has the right to do something, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. 
• Sin breeds sin.
• Grace breeds grace. 
• Christians are supposed to live in a 200% reality in which they are 100% about grace and 100% about justice. 
• We don't always see everything, so we shouldn't ever act like we do. 
• and that Jesus clearly said "blessed are the peace makers" 

When do something for the sake of doing it, then we aren't doing it with purpose. We should be people who think things through before acting and ask questions like "What will this accomplish?", "Are there consequences and do they affect more than just me?", "Is it beneficial?", "Does my not doing this have repercussions or benefits?", and ultimately  "Does it glorify God?" 

I think that if these questions had been asked by BOTH parties...a lot of strife could have been avoided this week. I love you all and I pray that God will do a work in all our hearts and that things like this will bring about unity in the end (as my Arabic friends say Enshallah). 

Peace be upon you all, 

Stephen 

Drama, Drama, Drama...

It seems like the majority of television these days if filled with shows that are just flooded with drama. Between shows like "Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Degrassi", how are people expected to have healthy and stable emotions? Apart from that it appears that drama levels are on the rise in the lives of every day Americans and have been steadily doing so for decades.


When I say "drama", I am not talking about plays or suspense..I'm talking about situations blowing up over nothing. Things like someone crying because their "boo" got the wrong colored flowers (which is and OBVIOUS sign that they don't care), a word misread in a text message and someone immediately ending a relationship without talking it out, or a sibling being deleted off of Facebook because he/she invited him/her to take a parent to diner without actually being involved in the planning process (totally know someone who had this happen to them). No, i'm talking about the DRAMA that we used to see just in high schools and in middle schools, but now infiltrates as early as preschool to as late as eternity.


My own life is not void of this terrible disease. In fact I have a couple members of my extended family that grow the stuff, smoke it in a pipe, and then blow it in your face. If you just understood my metaphor, then you know how "suffocating" it can be to be around people who breed drama. My purpose in saying all this is not to complain, but to ask a question?


Why all the drama?! 
Why the emotional and relational instability?
How should we be dealing with it?


Lets start with the first question.


"Why all the drama?" When I think about all the situations that I have endured that have yielded high concentrations of drama or when I think about those people that I know to be drama-breeders, there are a certain list of characteristics that come to mind. The list is as follows:

• Pride
• Shame
• Insecurity
• Immaturity
• Self-centered 

These are the things I see most, and logically I have to come to the conclusion that there is some sort of relationship between these characteristics and the production of drama just by the sheer reality that both coincide together. Can these characteristic be present without the production of drama? Sure. Can drama be produced without these characteristics? Mmmm...maybe, but not according to my experiences nor by any extent of my ability to reason. To answer my first question, I believe that the root of "drama" is SIN. 

"NOW HOLD UP!" Now for those of you reading this who might jump on the fact that I listed "shame" and would like to point out that it is not sin...I would have to say that you are right. Shame is not a sin per say. It is, however, a distortion of our mental and emotional health that was not meant to be a part of our lives and is often rooted in pride. So no, it is not a sin listed in the Bible, but it not to be something that is intimately a part of our lives. We will experience shame, but it is arguably "sinful" to live in it. 

"Why the emotional and relational instability?" Given the various causes for drama, is it any wonder why it is so burdensome? These particular sins, mixed with the emotions that come with them and with drama, are very hard on a relationship, and often lead to the termination of friendship. In some cases even families are torn apart. As a former youth ministry intern, I found that most of the kids who were drama-filled, experienced a lot of drama in their homes. Teens expressed the great heartache and difficulty when facing family drama. When we live like the world owes us or based around ourselves, then we live outside of the "original design" and we suffer from our sin and form the consequences of sin. When relationships struggle, emotions spike, minds race, and we get caught in a vicious cycle of destruction. 

"How should we be dealing with it?" I have a dear friend who deals with a lot of drama in her world and it becomes a significant stress producer in her life. What baffles me is that she will sit and watch these TV shows that are nothing but drama! I asked her about this once out of concern; certain that in watching these shows that it must only be adding to her plight. Why would someone who experiences so much drama in there own life want to see it lived out by others in mass overdose? Her response was, "It helps me to get my mind of of my own drama for a while." This statement struck me...I had never considered that it might be helping her deal with her own drama. The question remains...does it help?


Bottling up emotions or ignoring ones emotions are very destructive for one's emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health (a statement derived from both common knowledge and personal experience). But pouring it all out on someone continuously isn't good either. First and foremost we have to realize our strength comes from God, and if we are truly to overcome we need to have the wisdom and strength of His Spirit. While I think that it's ok to pull away from drama from time to time to rest and refocus, it is also important that we learn to process our emotions and to communication open. 


START with yourself. Pray and ask yourself if you are somebody that produces drama. If so, why? Whats the root? Once you identify it, take it to God and seek Him. When you take things to God in humility and with a willingness to work, He will help make your faith complete by strengthening you and helping you with your problems. 


OTHERS might be the source of drama in your life. If they are family, well you pretty much have to live with it, but you have to learn to continue showing Christian character through love and patience (yes yes I know...easier said than done), and be sure to try to keep communicating. Express your feelings and confront family when they are going over board, just do it in love. If it is just someone you know, then you need to decide if your willing to put up with that before you let your friendship get to far. If you are willing to have a friend that produces drama...then God be with you, but don't you dare go into the relationship expecting them to change...it won't be healthy for wither of you. If you are already in too deep, be loving, patient, and try talking it out with your friend (say it with me) WITH LOVE. 


This was a long reflection, but I had a lot of thoughts on it that have been building up over the last few days. 


Peace be with you :]