I Am Clay

The last 6 weeks of my life have been a whirlwind! I feel a great need to rest and to process all that has happened in my life since I started my job in the residential field. God has built me up and then broken me back down again, and now I sense Him building me back up.

For the first time in my life the Scriptural metaphor of the Potter and the Clay has become something I can deeply relate to. I'm being torn down and remade like the clay in the hands of a Potter. I feel it within my soul and I see it in my daily life. I'm being made new.

As I sat in the boy's lodge today writing away on one of my weekly reports, I felt overwhelmed at the realization of how much I've changed. I've changed in way that I had hoped and in so many ways I never expected. I pray that God gives me strength and continues to do this work in me as I live out my life and seek to give life to the dead, peace to those at war with themselves, and truth to those have known nothing but lies.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

The Life of Clay

Isaiah 45:9-19English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)9 “Woe to him who strives with him who formed him,    a pot among earthen pots!Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’    or ‘Your work has no handles’?10 Woe to him who says to a father, ‘What are you begetting?’    or to a woman, ‘With what are you in labour?’”11 Thus says the Lord,    the Holy One of Israel, and the one who formed him:“Ask me of things to come;    will you command me concerning my children and the work of my hands?[a]12 I made the earth    and created man on it;it was my hands that stretched out the heavens,    and I commanded all their host.13 I have stirred him up in righteousness,    and I will make all his ways level;he shall build my city    and set my exiles free,not for price or reward,”    says the Lord of hosts.

Recently, I was praying about life and, essentially, complaining to God that everything in my life was wrong. I was, more or less, accusing Him of all that has befallen me and the various aspects of reality that I have had to endure. Truthfully, I have done this for quite some time. It is so easy to begin complaining. It is one thing to share with God what you are going through, but there is a thin lines that separates the prayer said in broken honest and the prayer spoken in bitterness and accusation.

During this same time of prayer I was struck with the memory of the verse stated above. It was then that I was hit with conviction. Recently I was asked "What is [my] relationship with Christ?", to which I was a little insulted and wanted to respond with "He is my God and I am His creation." In my patience I refrained from stating so, but the thought continued to echo in my mind. He is God...and I am His creation. God brought this thought back into my mind as I was praying and combined it with the memory of the words of Isaiah. In the moment I got a divine slap in the face and a fist full of humility. It is not my place to accuse God or to Question His actions in my life. My job is simple: Love Him and love people.

I am to live life and not ask God "why are you doing this to me?" with any other attitude than one of humility and a desire to know the heart of God. So for now, my goal is stop asking "why?" and let Him fashion me. To go and live my life, trusting that He is going to direct my paths.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths" --Proverbs 3:5-6

Grace and Peace,

Stephen