Despite the popular belief among many Christians today, forgiveness is not a simple action for anyone. While most will admit that it isn't easy, forgiveness is simplified to the action of declaring the offender is "forgiven."
This is not forgiveness. It is only a fraction of it. Sadly, It is also something that I believed for the majority of my life.
I've heard it said many times that "forgiveness is not for the forgiven, but for the forgiver." This used to strike me as deeply profound and I found freedom in this statement.
It is, however, only a half-truth.
Looking at Christ as our example of real forgiveness, forgiveness isn't so one-sided. Applying the above statement to our relationship to God, I find it difficult to say that forgiveness is for God and not for us.
I’m not going to kid you: forgiveness is hard. Releasing someone from the responsibility for an offense against you is counter-intuitive. Why would I want to let someone off the hook? The anser is: you don't. I don't either! Offenses happen becasue of sin, and unforgiveness and the resual to reconcile is of sin as well!
This is not forgiveness. It is only a fraction of it. Sadly, It is also something that I believed for the majority of my life.
I've heard it said many times that "forgiveness is not for the forgiven, but for the forgiver." This used to strike me as deeply profound and I found freedom in this statement.
It is, however, only a half-truth.
Looking at Christ as our example of real forgiveness, forgiveness isn't so one-sided. Applying the above statement to our relationship to God, I find it difficult to say that forgiveness is for God and not for us.
I’m not going to kid you: forgiveness is hard. Releasing someone from the responsibility for an offense against you is counter-intuitive. Why would I want to let someone off the hook? The anser is: you don't. I don't either! Offenses happen becasue of sin, and unforgiveness and the resual to reconcile is of sin as well!
Forgiveness in its entirety contains the willingness to attempt restitution as well as to reconcile with the other party. For us, to "forgive as [Christ] forgives us", we must seek to rebuild the relationship if possible. Christ doesn't just say "Ok, I forgive you. Go on with your life, we don't need to talk anymore." He says, "Come to me and let us be known to each other."
I know, I know...we can't always do the reconciling work of build a relationship. Distance and death often prevent that, and that's ok. In those instances we do what can be done: make an emotional and mental declaration that you aren't going to hold on to the "debt" that is owed you by that person. Perhaps an honest prayer of telling God, "Hey, I don't hold that against them anymore. Can you help me heal and to go on even though I can't reconcile with them?" is in order.
But that leaves me with the question: Is it truly forgiveness if there is no admittance of being wrong or repentance?
The New Testament sure doesn't seem to say so. In fact, our being forgiven by God is dependent upon our responding to His calling us out on sin and repenting of that sin. He come in humility and ask for forgiveness and THEN Christ forgives. It is the first step to reconciling us to our God. Anything other than that is simply not holding a grudge or letting things get to you.
I fail at this. I fail at confronting an offender and telling him/her "Hey! You hurt me! You did *insert offense* and that's not cool!" I hate confrontation and I hate letting people off the hook from what they have done.
Grace and Peace,
I know, I know...we can't always do the reconciling work of build a relationship. Distance and death often prevent that, and that's ok. In those instances we do what can be done: make an emotional and mental declaration that you aren't going to hold on to the "debt" that is owed you by that person. Perhaps an honest prayer of telling God, "Hey, I don't hold that against them anymore. Can you help me heal and to go on even though I can't reconcile with them?" is in order.
But that leaves me with the question: Is it truly forgiveness if there is no admittance of being wrong or repentance?
The New Testament sure doesn't seem to say so. In fact, our being forgiven by God is dependent upon our responding to His calling us out on sin and repenting of that sin. He come in humility and ask for forgiveness and THEN Christ forgives. It is the first step to reconciling us to our God. Anything other than that is simply not holding a grudge or letting things get to you.
I fail at this. I fail at confronting an offender and telling him/her "Hey! You hurt me! You did *insert offense* and that's not cool!" I hate confrontation and I hate letting people off the hook from what they have done.
Grace and Peace,
Stephen
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