"Lord, in Your mercy hear my prayer..."

"Be careful what you pray for!"

I heard that often as a kid. "Be careful..." they warned.

If I prayed for patience I would get troubles. If I prayed for humility I would be faced with purging. If I prayed that God wouldn't take me to Africa as a missionary He was probably going to make me go out of penance for being so selfish and trying to control my life. Every virtue and good thing, even that which God wanted me to have, couldn't be asked for if I wanted to avoid punishment and/or tribulation.

As a kid, this is who I thought God was. In some ways, I'm still a kid.

The Only Exception

I have seen God answer my prayers for my friends, my students, and my staff. Even though I know for a fact that He has answered prayers from me for my own sake as well, and that He has shown great acts of love, I still fail to believe that He is willing to hear my requests.

I get caught up in the ridiculous notion that God has it out for me. That for some reason I have found it right and good in his eyes that I, apart from all others, should be targeted. This false theology keeps me from praying fully and honestly.

In this false worldview, my words are an open invitation for pain. I, therefore, spend a great deal of time analyzing every thought and every request before I dare present it in prayer.

"This sentence is dancing around the issue and manipulative, and therefore will be punished." "That request is way too self-serving; I'll definitely be met with poverty and destitution."

The god that I believe hears my prayers and responds sadistically and unlovingly is not the God that I have engaged with and served. The god that I think hears me is the false god produced out of the legalistic theology that I was brainwashed with as a child.

He is like the Norse god Loki rather than the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. That isn't Christ at all!

"What father, if his son asked for a fish, would give him a snake?"

Does God lead us to places we don't want to go? Sure, but He isn't sitting there listening to our prayers looking for ways to torment us or rob us of joy and happiness. He isn't analyzing every word and tallying up every sin that our words are rooted in.

He hears us and He sees us as we are and for who we are. His beloved creation. His children.

Yes, there is selfishness and there is pride in me and is sometimes comes out in my prayers, but God loves that I have personality and desires. He wants me to come to Him, as a child to his father; with love, with requests, and with the truth of the soul laid bare.

"Therefore, go boldly into the presence of God..." and do not go walking on eggshells and with the belief that God is a god of mischief.

He is teaching me who he truly is, and he is helping the child in me to come to terms with the truth.

He loves me and he loves it when I pray truthfully and full of desires. 

Why I Defended a Muslim

I recently wrote a post about Christians being racist and today I got to see the evils of such a reality on a very real and personal level. As I have mentioned before, I once spent a summer in the Middle East and while I was there I taught English to locals.

I have the privilege of still being in contact with many of my students, and I get to have conversations with them from time to time. Today, one of my former students posted a picture that contained a quote from the Qu'ran concerning the Trinity and the divinity of Christ. I had decided that I might respond to this and explain first that Christian belief in the Trinity is in fact a monotheistic belief. Before I could even start writing my comment I had my attention stolen at the site of a comment from that said student asking "what is a durka?"

My stomach dropped and I frantically began reading the other comments. I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of disbelief as I read the comments of these two men that raged against him and made comment after comment loaded with racism, poison, and ignorance. I left a comment for my friend and asked him to forgive the two racists for their comments and for being so blatantly disrespectful. Next thing I knew I found myself defending my Muslim friend against these supposedly "Christian" individuals.

Where ever there is hatred, ignorance, persecution, darkness, or chaos we must stand up and say "NO! This is NOT permissible!"

If I come across a Christian attacking anyone for the color, ethnicity, or religion I will ALWAYS stand up AGAINST them. This is NOT Christ-like in any way, shape, or form! This is evil and ungodly! It is taking the name of God upon oneself in utter vanity and misrepresents the Holy One. It is an affront to the Gospel and worthy of wrath and ruin! Lest they repent, God will most certainly silence them Himself.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ have mercy.

Lord have mercy.

Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself! These things are neither love nor service to God or man! What I saw today was the darkness of humanity and the evils that even those who claim Christ are capable of conjuring. They attacked an innocent man and counted him a murderer and a villain. They struck him with their words and sought to deprive him of dignity and value over his religious devotion. May Christ have mercy on them and forgive them!

God, forgive ALL of us for all of our foolishness and for all we do that dishonors Your Name and leads men astray! Correct Your children and makes us more like You and let us be found above reproach; that we would be Light where there is Darkness, Truth where there is Deceit, Knowledge where there is Ignorance, Peace where their is Chaos, and Life where there is Death!

 Grace and Peace,

Stephen

By Spirit or By Flesh

 The other day I was drinking coffee with my best friend at our favorite local coffee shop. I was reading Paul's letter to the Philippians while he was studying the biblical text (whether in Hebrew or Greek, I remember not). Now, I had read this letter many times of the course of my life, as have most people who were raised in a "Christian" home (I do not put the word "Christian" in quotations to say that may family does not meet that criteria. I do so to ease my conviction of misusing a noun as an adjective). As I was reading, however, I found myself struck by one of the passages and began meditating on Paul's words. Here are the verse that the Holy Spirit struck my heart with.

^{Philippians 1:12} I want you to know, brothers,^[e] that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, ¹³ so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard^[f] and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. ¹⁴ And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word^[g] without fear.

¹⁵  Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. ¹⁶ The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. ¹⁸ What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.

Astounding! A lot of times in the church we find ourselves arguing and debating over frivolous things, such as sprinkling vs. fully emerging baptisms, KJV vs. modern translations, cultural equivalency vs. ignoring culture, etc. etc. etc. As for me, I often find myself being overly critical of actions being taken within the Church. "Is that biblical?", "Are your intentions pure?", "Is this being led by a manipulator?", "What are the consequences of what you just said in your sermon?" These are all good questions in and of themselves, but my heart is rarely in the right place, and I ultimately miss the most important questions of all..."Is God being glorified in the lives of men?" and "Is it advancing the Kingdom?" These two question are far more important than anything else.

When I read these words of Paul, I suddenly had recollections of a man in a small town just an hour North of my city. I had been driving through and had stopped at the local grocery store for a drink and was headed on my way. As I was leaving the building I noticed him standing on the far side of the parking lot with a book in his hand and he was yelling out into the parking lot. He had no one in particular that he was speaking too directly, and the book in his hand was obviously a Bible. He yelled out one of the most passionate "hell-fire and brimstone sermons" that I have heard to date and he would not stop. My initial attitude toward him was not one of awe, compassion, or respect. In fact I found myself rather angry at him for his choice of methods for preaching the gospel. In my mind it was a misrepresentation of Christ, even though nothing he said was actually false, but it weighed more on the element of fear and emotion to entice people to seek a "fire-escape" Savior. It was not a sermon preached with love and compassion...but with a fierce anger.


God, however, stepped in and has offered me a firm, yet gentle, rebuke through the writing of one of His greatest servants. Paul's words rang in my mind over and over like the sound of church bells echoing through a city. Paul makes it clear that he doesn't care whether they are preaching in love or with selfishness, as long as Christ is being proclaimed to the lost! Ultimately, we know that those who preached out of selfishness will have to answer for their actions, but what matters above all else is that Christ is glorified among the the sinners of the World!

So how many other people have I looked upon with pride and arrogance because they did not have the complexity of doctrine and training that I've had? How many times have I grieved the Holy Spirit because of my foolishness, instead of looking at my fellow believers with love and compassion? I have not changed in my disapproval of that man choice of methodology, but instead I take heart and am now praising God that he is being used to spread the Gospel regardless of how he is doing it. As long as the truth being taught, and the Gospel not perverted, then what wrong method is there?