Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

A Happy Ending

Finally...It's Over
My parents recently signed the papers to end the twenty-some-odd-year season of hurt and struggle that many people commonly refer to as "marriage."
You might think that this is overstepping boundaries-that I have no right to share any such things with the world. After all, it wasn't my marriage right?
HA! WRONG!
You're right… it wasn't my marriage, but this grand catastrophe profoundly affects my life. Covering it up helps no one and only perpetuates the problem. My intent is not to share their junk, but to tell you my experiences and what I learned from living with a less-than-ideal marriage.
A child, though not fully able to comprehend his or her surroundings, can pick up on the subtle issues of his or her parents. I was no exception.
Here are the three things that I learned as a teen dealing with a broken marriage.
  1. Fear Suffocates
Whether you cause it or experience it, fear is poisonous to a healthy home environment. Fear can cause us to say and do a lot of crazy things. It enslaves us to the whims of others, keeps us from speaking out against injustice, fosters irrational thought about our relationships, or isolates us from the very people who can help us.
Several kinds of fear wrecked our home. The fear of abandonment, the fear of pain (emotional and physical), the fear of failure, and the fear of social shame.
It was not loving.
Love is not oppressive. It isn't manipulative and controlling.
Instead, love fosters creativity, freedom of thought, safety and security to speak honestly (in a respectful manner) without fear of punishment. It is patient and it approaches others with grace and understanding. This is what my parents needed in their marriage. This is what our home needed as a whole. Instead, we all suffocated within the walls that were supposed to be our sanctuary and our family's place of safety.
Fear reigns when there isn't...
2. Humility and Honesty
Pride can lurk near environments of fear. It is often the very source of fear, or the root of what causes one to instill fear in others. Pride keeps us from being honest with ourselves and with others.
Pride kept certain members of my family from admitting their faults, while simultaneously keeping others from seeking community and processing with others; lest they be thought of as weak or stupid.
As a young adult, I still struggle with trust and with fear.
I fear I will be like my parents.
This is, in part, due to my parents pointing out my faults and manipulatively connecting these flaws to the other parent in an attempt to motivate change. This, of course, only made the whole of our family struggle much worse.
I wish I could have had the courage to speak my mind as a teen and had not lived on in fear. I wish I had been able to speak boldly what I knew was true and face the consequences of my actions with strength.
But sadly I was too deep in insecurity to know that I had what it took to stand up, to revolt.
The lack of humility and honesty was further cultivated by...
3. The Unhealthy Idolization of Family Ideals
I had a lot of pressure put on me to be happy and to be fully invested in a family that I didn't feel safe in. I often heard the phrase "if you can't trust family, you can't trust anyone" in response to my seeking external community and aid. This attempt to inspire me towards a family-centered worldview strongly influenced the way I approached the world.  
My desire to be free of the tension and stress and to build relationships elsewhere was met with shame and sought to keep me trapped within the social structure that bore down on my psyche and hindered my growth as an individual.
To compound these matters, I was often commanded to not share my pain. I was told "family issues stay within the family." This philosophy fosters fear in other areas of life: Fear of social reprimanding, fear of consequences, fear of dishonoring my parents, and fear of crossing boundaries.
I found myself believing that it was wrong to speak ill of anyone in my family, even if it was an attempt to process with a friend.
I was taught to have undying loyalty to family, even though it was family that was most disloyal to me of all of my relationships.
The bible does not center salvation around family, though it talks about families and family ideals. It does not permit that families behave as clichés nor as individualized communities. The gospel of Christ tears down these concepts and breaks the barriers between bloodlines.
It says we are all one family, one people under one King.

 "What happens in the family stays in the family" is false. It is a means of control that fosters fear and pride. We are bound and enslaved! The Church suffers far more disunity than the splitting of denominations, but in the separation of family units. Satan has masked a very serious threat as something that "God prioritizes." It is a subtle tactic that cut us off from meeting our true potential as a people unified under one Lord. Do not place trust and faith on family.

Place trust and faith on God.
This grim fairy tale has met its happy ending. Take my experiences and learn from these errors. Use them. Take the first steps to liberating your life where fear, pride, and false idols are enslaving you; preventing you from the healthy, fulfilling life that God wants you to live.

Grace and Peace,
Stephen

Ridin' Solo

It is no secret to those who know me that at this time in my life I am making little to no effort to enter into a "serious relationship". This is due to my current financial, spiritual, and all around life status. What most people don't know is that I have been prayerfully considering taking vows of eternal singleness. This is not something that I take lightly or would advise people doing on a whim. to take such a vow must be done with
the realization that breaking it would be detrimental to one's health (and soul) but also is an incredibly
honorable sacrifice to God. One must know their reasons for doing so and be certain that God has not called them to life of marriage. It is a decision that must be made in community and with mentor ship and patience.

That said, I have found that through discussions and seeking advice from friends and mentors, that I do not believe that I am called to singleness. In the very least I will not be taking my vows and I will be keeping an eye open for possibilities. Given that so few people in my life knew that I was considering this, I have found it interesting how several people have come to me to talk about their wrestling with the subject themselves; expressing their contemplation of permanent celibacy.

What exactly does it look like to be a celibate? Let's break this down a little bit. First and foremost, I would advise asking a monk or nun to share their experience in the matter. After all, they most likely are able to describe that life style more than most.

To give up sex is to give up marriage and (this will surprise some people) to give up marriage is to give up sex. Biblically the two coincide. You aren't supposed to have one without the other.

Giving these up means...well, no children. There is an exception to this. There is a young woman in Africa by the name of Katie who has adopted over a dozen children and single handedly is raising those kids. However, you can say goodbye to blood-related children or continuing you're bloodline (which isn't as biog a deal within the context of Christianity).

Altered social life. No double dates. No dates. Life priorities and focus change. Less responsibilities to handle at home, and freedom to go and do stuff at the drop of the hat. Greater risks can be taken, and as a result I would argue that with the loss of home-responsibilities, their is an increase of responsibility outside of one's home and to the church. Having more free time and less priorities doesn't mean you can waste time and resources, it simply means you re direct that time and resources to other areas. This is an area that I am currently not doing well. I am single and I have plenty of free time due to only having a part-time job, and yet I waste so much time and accomplish little more than I would if I had a full-time job.

It is difficult and yet honorable to make such a decision. It is a great testament to people, an inspiration to other believers, and a challenging sacrifice for the self that, I believe, God sees and rewards. However, God also loves marriage. After all, He is the one who established marriage and created the concept of sex and family. To be married is to demonstrate the beautiful union of Christ and Church, as well as greater display the Image of God in us.

I'm going to rabbit trail for a moment. God designed us for intimacy, marriage, parenthood, and sexual union with opposite genders. It is deeply apart of who we are, and is it any wonder why this area of our lives has been so greatly distorted by sin and by the Church? Sexuality is an aspect of humanity that is so greatly misunderstood and misused worldwide and faith-wide. In the Church's desire to bring humanity back into right living and to try and correct the false use of sex, She has often gone to extremes. She either has either made the topic taboo and uneasy to talk about or taught about it with such negativity that people walk away believing that even sex INSIDE of marriage is sinful and disgraceful.

Sadly, much of the Church of late has swung the opposite direction in Her desire to please people and get people in the doors, but this is an affront to the gospel and is false doctrine.

Back to the topic at hand.Too many people are making this decision based off of fear. Fear of commitment and being in a relationship. Fear of being hurt (again) by someone and as a result they throw away all hope of being in a relationship. They fear their abilities to be good parents, or to be a good spouse. These are not good reasons. Instead of shrinking away, use those fears to drive you to be a better person.

Some don't want the responsibility of being a parent or spouse, to which I say you don't deserve marriage and even more importantly, you don't deserve to have sex. Sex is not to be done in such complete selfishness. Sex is for holding marriages together and starting families, not solely for one's self pleasure and entertainment.  If you don't want to bear the responsibility of raising children, don't have sex. If you don't want to care for another person or think of someone other than yourself...then you should consider taking those vows.

For those like me who are currently single, hear me out. Enjoy singleness and don't make rash decisions for or against marriage. Live life as honorable and godly as possible. Pray and seek God and He will direct you to where He wants you to be. Realize that marriage and sex are gifts of God and not shameful or sinful. Pray for the life of the Church and the world that this area of our lives might be brought into submission under our Christ and healing maybe done in us and in others.

Grace and Peace

Vows of Love and the Words that Imply Them

I'm not one to talk about love or relationship of a romantic nature. It's outside my realm of knowledge or comfort. Recently, however, I watched the movie called "The Vow" and it left me with a lot of things to think about. Actually I am resisting the temptation to sit here and write up three different blog posts...but I digress.

Vows: that dastardly use of words to convey loyalty and affection; to create promises of allegiance and/or self-sacrifice with the implication that one's words are trustworthy and will ever be fulfilled until a certain condition (more commonly death) has been accomplished or invoked.

Its amazing how little vows mean to society today. Especially among Christians, who seem to make more vows than anyone else (or at least by my observation). It is no longer easy to trust the words of others. A fact evidenced by ever growing need for detailed contracts with witnesses and special seals. I once heard a friend say that contracts rely on a base trust among individuals to believe that one will fulfill the written contract, but in my mind I see the use of them at all as a proof of distrust, not to mention that many contracts are left unfulfilled.

Sadly it is no different for marital vows. So many speak words without sincerity or without truly seeking to work at keeping their vows. It appears to me (and forgive my bluntness), there are far too many people still walking around and breathing in light of all the marriages that have ended just this year. Now, I'm not saying that there are not biblical reasons for divorce. I would stand to say that abuse and continual adultery are valid reasons for divorce, while still very unfortunate and heartbreaking, as well as displeasing to God. These two actions are in complete disregard to the vows that were made during the couple's wedding ceremony. A friend of mine once told me that "It is more biblical for me to murder my wife than for me to divorce her. But I would never murder her." I think that this is a beautiful and yet...disturbing, image that we all need to grasp. Murder is recognized as being ultimately wrong, but no one is willing to hold vows and marriage to the standard that they should. Perhaps it is the overwhelming pride and self-contentedness of humanity without the old cultural pressures to "make it work" that has led us to this place.

Vows are far more significant than any mere contract. It is a matter of honor, trust, reputation, and the persons very life is bound to a vow that is spoken. Christians have a tendency to make a lot of these, usually to God, but often to others in the form of false friendship and deceitful acts of love. Additionally, there is the famous phrase "I'll be praying for you!" or "Let me know if there is anything I can do!" which are both too often spoken flippantly and without being fulfilled. A great tragedy of the age. The bearers of truth showing smile and speaking meaningless words that leave people broken and hurt. Distrust reigns and sin abounds because people are unwilling to uphold integrity and follow through with what they vow.

Do not take my post as arrogant. I am just as guilty of the same crime. I call my own integrity into question and ask of myself "what vows have you spoken vainly?", "What words have you said without thinking?", and "How can I overcome this?"

May we always seek to do what we say and say what we do. That all that is said is said with intentionality and purpose rather than manipulation or disregard.

Peace be with you all,

Stephen

Sacraments: Simply Symbolic or Secretly Supernatural


I recently wrote a research paper on the topic of the sacraments and decided that I would put post it to share what I learned, some of my developing thoughts, and to receive feedback. I have personally not come to a conclusion on where I stand on the topic, but am in careful consideration. If you have responses, article, or other blogs that you believe would be useful, feel free to share! Enjoy!

Sacraments: Simply Symbolic or Secretly Supernatural  

            Throughout the course of Christian history sacraments have played a major role in the life of the believer. Whether they are viewed as an act that merely symbolizes a greater meaning or as mystical acts that bring impartations of grace from God, all would agree that the sacraments are God-given. The sacraments are not only a vital part of Church history, but are also essential for Church life today. For one to understand the sacraments and to come to a conclusion as to where to stand concerning the theology of sacraments, one must first delve into the history and into the various circles of theological thought. This paper will not attempt to create a solid conclusion about the sacraments, but instead will explore the historical views of the sacraments, explain the differences in perspectives among various ecclesiological thought, and will argue that, at the very least, the sacraments are not just mere symbols.

Definition of Sacrament
A vital first step in developing a theological standpoint on any topic is to clearly define the words and thoughts involved. Here one must be sure to understand the definition of the word “sacrament” and be aware that there may be more than one definition used, especially when dealing with multiple paradigms of belief.
In The HarperCollins Encyclopedia of Catholicism, Mark Francis explains that the word “sacrament” finds its roots in the Latin word sacramentum, which means “oath” or “pledge”, but at one point held a much broader meaning and actually referred to any “manifestation of God’s power and love in space and time” (1146). The word was first used among the ranks of the Roman soldiers who would make an oath, or sacramentum, to their commanding superiors, making an honorable statement of pure loyalty to their commanders (Bishop 102-03).
It is most fascinating to think about how the word’s usage has changed over such a short period of time as to go from a soldier’s oath of loyalty to becoming a word that describes holy, early Church rituals of worship. It makes sense that the word for “oath” or “pledge” would be used to describe such things as Eucharist, Baptism, and the various other recognized sacraments, especially since many of them we’re indeed used as “oaths” or “pledges” of Believer’s faith.
The word “sacrament” can also be linked back to the Greek word mysterion which mean “mystery” and gives off the idea of concealment or “hiddeness” (Francis 1146). This is apparent in how the Church has seen the workings of the Holy Spirit through the sacraments as a mystery of sorts, something that cannot be understood within the confines of our limited knowledge and limited comprehension.

Sacraments and the Church
We know from reading the New Testament writings that the Lord’s Supper was practiced in the early Church, outside of the original act preformed by Jesus with His disciples. It holds a great deal more significance than simply gathering to eat, and we can determine this from the language that is used in the New Testament that consistently says “breaking of bread” rather than “eating of bread” (Cullmann 14). Communion was a significant part of early Church worship and was kept regularly among the believers (Cullmann 12). It would not make sense however that if the word means “oath” that it at one point referred to any “manifestation of God’s power and love” (Francis 1146), unless of course the perspective was that God manifesting His power and love was, in fact, He Himself giving some sort of “oath”, as He did with the rainbow (ESV Genesis 9:13).

Lists of Sacraments
Catholics recognize seven different sacraments: Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist (also known as Communion or the Lord ’s Table), Reconciliation (or Penance), Anointing of the Sick, Marriage (or Matrimony), and Holy Orders (Francis 1147). To those who are unfamiliar with Catholicism, a few of the listed Roman Catholic sacraments hold little to no meaning or significance to the Protestant, such as Confirmation, Penance, and Holy Orders (also known as Ordination to Priesthood).
Protestants take a somewhat different approach to the listing of the sacraments. Most Protestant books on the matter of the sacraments only discuss baptism and Eucharist, which is a strong implication that these are the only one recognized among the majority of Protestantism. Since Protestantism came out of a rebellion against what was believed to be false teaching, it is not surprising that they have an alternate list from that of the Catholics. The only real exception is found among Pentecostal/Charismatic Denominations.
Within the Pentecostal denominations we see a stark contrast in the area of sacraments from the rest of the universal Church. Even though they appear to hold to the predominantly “Baptist” perspective, “Baptist” as is described by Dorman (293), in that the actions are not called sacraments at all and that they are purely symbolic. David Bishop describes in his article “On the Sacraments”, found in Pentecostal Worship, that the reasoning for most Pentecostal denominations desire to refrain from calling the actions sacraments is more out a distaste for the original meaning and usage of the word in its Latin roots (102), leaving one with the belief that it is not a lack of believing the acts to be important or sacred.
 This would seem to be very inconsistent with the rest of Pentecostal doctrine considering its heavy emphasis on the presence of the Holy Spirit and his working in one’s life. One would think that with many Pentecostals being as mystical as they are in their beliefs about the Holy Spirit would be just as equally mystical about the sacraments. Observation of the way many treat the sacraments, along with stories shared by known Pentecostal, might actually prove to be enlightening and reveal more of a rebellion against the idea of sacraments providing salvific grace rather than a true belief that the sacraments are purely symbolic. Though, in speculation, to say that the sacraments are more than symbolic probably would seem to them as deifying a ritual rather than relying upon the Holy Spirit and would therefore make sense that they take the symbolic approach.
Bishop explains that, generally, Pentecostals recognize the following three “ordinances” (or sacraments): The Lord’s Supper, Water Baptism, and the Washing of the Saint’s Feet (103-19). The first two listed sacraments are expected, but the idea of feet washing being a sacrament comes across as rather odd to many of the non-Pentecostal denominations, and rightly so. Apart from Jesus washing the Apostles’ feet, this action does not appear to be practiced elsewhere in the New Testament, nor does Jesus give any type of command or statement that would imply that believers should participate in such actions. Though Paul speaks of widows “washing the feet of the saints” (1 Timothy 5:9-10), it is not clear whether he meant this literally or not, and foot washing does not appear to be recorded in accounts of early Church history as a regular or sacred act among the believers.
In the biblical text, Jesus appears to simply be giving the disciples an object lesson and modeling for them an attitude of the heart that they must maintain and not initiating a sacrament. Bishop argues that it is just as biblical as communion since the two were done together in the same sitting, because of Jesus words that state, “If I then your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14). Even though one could argue from this verse alone, it is rather unwise. Apart from that, the verse that follow clearly demonstrate that Jesus is telling the disciples to have the heart of a servant, and not necessarily saying that the washing of feet is to be a ritual that is regularly practiced.
 Unlike the other sacraments listed among other denominations, foot washing does not display worship or gratitude unto Jesus or the Father as the Eucharist does. Foot washing does not symbolize death to the old man and the finding of new identity in Christ as baptism does. Finally, foot washing does not include any type of vow or commitment to others as marriage and ordination into ministry does.

Symbolism in the Sacraments
            Baptism
Baptism into water is a sign of cleanness (Clowney 276) and can be seen as the taking on of a new identity in Christ (Grun 4). Historically we know that Baptism did not start with Christianity. Baptism has been a part of the lives of ancient Egyptians and even the Greeks (Ferguson 25). Baptism has, therefore, been used as a means of “purification” for even centuries before the coming of Christ. It would good to note that it’s broad and historical use would lead one to think the Jews and Gentiles in the day of Christ would then have a very real understanding of Baptism. Ferguson explains that in additions to its use in ancient Egypt, it is also recorded that Jews themselves used baptism, which of course gives a much more immediate understanding and usage for those in Jesus’ day (60).
Baptism was used in many rituals of cleansing in Old Testament law, but more importantly it was used later in the taking on of a proselyte or a Gentile convert to Judaism (Ferguson 72), and since it is well known that Christianity finds its roots in Judaism it is not surprising that baptism was one of Christ’s prime choices for a sacrament. There is already a deep cultural understanding present and an agreed upon meaning by various racial communities and is, therefore, not a ritual that needed to be explained. 
            Eucharist
            The symbolism behind Communion, or Eucharist, is probably the most clear of all the sacraments. Jesus states that bread and wine, or Communion, is representative of His body and His blood and that we are to partake often in remembrance of Him (Mark 14: 22-23). It is significant to note that both items used were food products that are taken into oneself for life and nourishment. Phillips states that because of the presence of God in the Communion and his “giving of Himself in this concentrated manner” (29), we are being spiritually nourished. Just as eating food of a physical nature replenishes us and becomes a part of our body to provide life and energy, so does that which is made to be spiritual food replenish and nourish our souls by being interwoven within our souls.
            Calvin and Augustine defined the Eucharist and baptism as “visible [signs] of an invisible grace” (Wallace 133). The sacraments are worthless unless coupled with scripture and the command of Christ, since the Word of God is what gives us revelation and understanding (134). Wallace states that the Eucharist and Baptism are signs of proclamation that one will live out his faith and that he is now partaking in the grace of God (141). From this perspective, one has already received the grace, but the sacraments act as a symbol that proclaims to the World that one is devoted to God.
            Confirmation
            Moving on to some of the other Catholic sacraments, confirmation holds a key place in the life of the Catholic Christian. Confirmation is probably the one sacrament that has seen the most significant changes in the history of its use. Originally, Confirmation came along with the baptism, but over time began to be separated and given a great deal of meaning (Camille 114). Camille explains that Confirmation is the declaration of one being initiated into the Church, as well as the convert proclaim they realize that he/she has a responsibility to be a witness to the world so that people might know Christ and be free.
Camille also explains that in antiquity a person confirmed would be prayed for by laying on of hands, the presiding bishop would pray for the spiritual gift to be imparted into the confirmed, and the confirmed would be anointed with oil (114). The ritual has been changed with the occurrence of Vatican II, removing the slight “blow to the cheek” that the bishop would give to the confirmed as a reminder of the price of being a Christian (115). Modern day Protestants do not uphold this tradition, but usually settle with acceptance as Church membership. It appears that Church membership, however, would not be viewed as a sacrament by any means.
Confirmation can easily be supported in the scriptures, especially since it is common knowledge that the Disciples did in fact pray for the new converts with the laying on of hands in the book of Acts (8:18), as well as being mention in Paul’s letters (1 Timothy 5:22; 2 Timothy 1:6; Hebrews 6:2). Since the Holy Scriptures give us the impression that the Holy Spirit is present in the acts of laying on of hands and anointing with oil, there is a great deal of support for viewing Confirmation as a sacrament.
Catholics also apply a great deal of extra symbolism and richness to the act of Confirmation by adding the requirement of a sponsor, someone who is stand as a guide and a supporter in the life of the one being confirmed (Grun 103). It is a beautiful concept and one that is missing throughout the Protestant Church today.
            While the sacraments do not appear to have really changed in meaning over the last twenty-odd centuries, it is inarguable that the cultural significance of some acts might be lost to those of Western thought and community.
            Marriage
            Marriage is the “covenant by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership of their whole life and which of its own very nature is ordered to the well-being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of children.” (Lawler 821) Marriage has long been seen as a covenantal agreement between two people across all denominations. Marriage is something that greatly reflects our relationship to God and to Christ (Lawler 822-23). Marriage unites a couple, making them “one flesh” through their sexual intimacy that binds them to one another in mind, soul, and spirit (Camille 145). Marriage holds a great deal for symbolism for the Church, and there is a beautiful thing that occurs at the marriage of two individuals. This does not, however, imply that it is sacramental. Jesus did not command the church to marry, though He did use marriage as a metaphor on many occasions. Marriage is not necessarily a proclamation of faith or a “sign of invisible grace”, as was discussed earlier.
            Marriage could possibly be considered a sacrament, simply because it does greatly reflect Christ and the Church in that a couple vow themselves to one another and surrender their own desire for each other. Since they are being committed together to God to commit to one another, and they entire a deep and intimate relationship of love together, it could be argued as a sacrament (Grun 167).
Ordination
            While the Catholic Church does recognize the priesthood of all the believers, the ordained priest holds a Different role. They are “priests to the priests” (Camille 15) in many ways. The purpose of the ordained priest is to be the administer of the sacraments to the rest of the Church body and to serve other Christians in whatever way is needed (Grun 204-05). Some of the characteristic of priests in history were that they cast out the demonic, guarded that which is holy or sacred, stood in mediation between humanity and the divine, chanted and/or sang songs of lament or praise, and preformed various rites or rituals (Grun 206-12). The Church definitely needs people who have dedicated their lives to life and soul of the Church, and who live sacrificially to minister to younger in the faith, the vows that Priests take and their elevated position are unnecessary. They do, however, ensure that the sacraments are administered correctly and that the teachings of the Church remain, at the very least, consistent. Is ordination something to be deemed a “sacrament”? Probably not, but the role of the ordained priest does have its use, though the concept is not necessarily found in the New Testament writings.
            Anointing the Sick
            Also referred to as “Extreme Unction” or “Last Rites”, this sacrament is performed when members of the Church is facing extreme illness, old age, or are close to death (Ciferni 57). Coming from a biased, Pentecostal background, one might be infuriated by this interpretation of New Testament acts of anointing the sick, as might many others from a non-Catholic perspective. When James stated that elders should gather around those who are sick and anoint then with oil (James 5:14), he probably did not have this in mind.
            While anointing with oil was (and still is) a common practice in the Church, even being found in early Judaism, it is only the Catholic perspective that can be viewed as resembling a sacrament, but one could argue that, like much of the doctrine taught in the Catholic Church, that this is a skewed interpretation of scripture.
            Penance
            Penance is also known as Reconciliation or as Confession. Confession as a regularly preformed act has significantly decreased over the decades, even among the Catholics (Grun 122). Since the events of Vatican II, however, the sacrament of Penance has taken on a form that is indeed better described as “reconciliation” and now focuses on the idea of restoration or relationships and achieving forgiveness (Camille 128). Even though it has become more of a forgiveness and relationship-restoring act, it still has some measure of its traditional form of confessing to a priest for the purpose of being reconciled to God and to the Church (Osborne 1083).
            The reformers cried out against Reconciliation as being a sacrament. John Calvin and Luther accused the Church of making up the sacrament and stated that it was not scripturally founded (Osborne 1085). Calvin and Luther must not have argued their points very well since the practice is still alive and well. While the Bible does say that we are to tell one another of our sins and to help each other (James 5:16), there are no verse that set it up as a sacrament. Biblically one can see that James was giving instruction for a community of believers and not prescribing a ritual of confession to a priest or elder.
             The act of confession is indeed relieving and helps to break the guilt of someone’s life, and acts of reconciliation are redemptive and bring healing to the minds and hearts of the people, but these are not reasons to call such an act a sacrament. At the same time, the growing theological idea that one does not need to openly confess to anyone other than Jesus should probably be considered unhealthy for believers.

Sacraments and the Spirit
In her book Invitation to Catholicism, Alice Camille breaks down the difference between “sign”, “symbol”, and “sacrament.” (102-03). “Signs” are simply things that convey an agreed upon meaning by a community of people, but that is all. “Symbols” convey meanings as well, but go far beyond just holding meaning. Camille uses the American flag as a prime example for helping explain the concept of “symbol.” The flag has colors and shapes and hold an agreed upon meaning, but in addition to that it represents the U.S. as a whole, both her philosophies and her people. Camille then describes sacrament as being so much more than either a symbol or a sign because of a sacraments affect on the soul. She states that “for Catholics, a sacrament is so much more than what it represents, it is what it represents” (103). Therefore, Penance is not just an action, but it actually brings about forgiveness. Marriage actually unifies, communion brings about transformation, and baptism actually cleanses.
While there is certain attractiveness to this way of thinking, there has to be more support from the scriptures to allow most people to accept this belief. The idea , however does not necessarily oppose scripture, and can therefore be argued as possibly a valid perspective that may simply have to be concluded through subjective experience rather than straight academics.
Thinking back to the root meaning of “mystery” (Francis 1146), it is easy to see how one could come to this conclusion. What mystery is there if the sacraments are just symbols and do not actually have an effect on the participant. Unfortunately, there is no real scriptural evidence to support this way of thinking. All scripture gives us is one passage where Paul states that communion should not be done flippantly, since in doing so may result in serious sickness or even death (1 Corinthian 11:27-31). This is definitely a significant fact and suggests that, at the very least, the Holy Spirit takes communion very seriously and punishes those who partake without the proper hearts or mindsets.
It is important to recognize that Catholics do not claim sacraments to be “magic rituals” but that instead they are things that the Holy Spirit is very present in and, therefore, works through to accomplish the action or meaning that each sacrament represents. It is God choosing to work through an action that He established to be done in the Church, not the sacrament itself, but God’s presence in the midst of the sacrament (Camille 103).

Sacraments in relationship to salvation
The common understanding is that Catholics believe that it is through the sacraments that one receives an impartation of grace. It is not a magical ritual, but instead it is something that God “chooses to work through” and He is not “bound” by the sacraments (Camille 112). The Protestant perspective on baptism is that it is merely “the seal on profession of faith”, which poses a problem in that it is significantly less unifying than the Catholic Church (Green 16), but in many circles still imply a working of the Spirit.
A major theological debate among certain denominations is the issue of infant baptism. While there are many today who could care less on the topic, it is definitely not a subject to be overlooked. The primary question is in whether baptism has a salvific nature. In Children of Promise, Geoffrey Bromiley makes an attempt to argue for the salvation of children through infant baptism (91-111). He primarily shows arguments that completely misuse scripture and raise more theological concerns.
If baptism of any kind is an instrument for bringing about salvation, then what do we do with Christ and His sacrifice? Was His sacrifice a payment for baptism to save people? This is a rather illogical conclusion. This perspective makes baptism too much like magic and takes too much glory away from the workings of Christ, and would beg us to call into question the “innocence” of a child. Bromiley writes of the argument that infants do not require forgiveness or salvation since they have not “had the chance to sin”, but then makes it clear that scripture does not give us an examples of exceptions to humans being sin-filled (96-97).
If baptism is not a bestowing of salvation, than what use does it have beyond being a mere dedication of the infant, which appears to be a common practice among other denominations. Since baptism is such an important part of the lives of the believers and their conscious choice to yield to Christ in repentance, it would inappropriate to baptize an infant. On the opposite side of the argument, if it can be determined biblically that baptism can give an assurance of salvation then it must become a regular act of the church. The parents of the infant must then be held to a even higher standard of discipling the infant in its growing years (Bromiley 110).
Camille states that we should not concern ourselves with the “what-ifs”, but recognize God’s choosing to work through sacraments provides a way, and that in the end it does not matter since the “Council of Trent offered the concept of ‘baptism of desire’” (112). She calls it a “beautiful theological basket woven to defend God’s power to supply whatever is need in any emergency”, and this accounts for those to live and die without ever having heard the gospel (112).
In response to Camille’s statements, one must call into question the need to “defend God’s power to supply” and how it is that we as humans can make such theological claims. Unfortunately, there do not appear to be any scriptural support for this theological claim, which is a major sign that one must approach the topic with caution and great care. Another hole in this theory is that if God merely supplies the faith necessary to let those who have not heard the Gospel receive salvation, then would it not be cruel and condemning of God to go telling everyone the “Good News”? This makes the sharing of the Gospel equal to the giving of Moses’ law rather than bringing life and freedom! It would then be better to remain silent on the matter of Christ and simply teach good morals.
As Christians we have to remember that Jesus is the source of our salvation. It is possible that God might use communion and baptism as the means for which he bestows grace, but it is hard to support this theory scripturally. Since we cannot assume salvation coming from the sacraments, we must then be willing to say that they are significant symbols in which the Holy Spirit interacts with and uses for our benefit.

Conclusion
It is evident that there is some much deeper to the sacraments than many Christians accept, but at the same time there is a risk of finding oneself believing a dangerous, opposite extreme. A lot of American Christians, especially those of the South, do not participate and show the appreciation for the traditions of the early Church. While this is not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, the sacraments are often included in those lessened or abandoned traditions. It can easily be seen that the Protestant revolt against the Catholic false teachings has gone too far in its attempt to counteract them, and has brought about false teachings of a different sort.
When defining or explaining the sacraments, one can far too easily fall into a biased perspective and ignore what is being said by fellow believers of different perspectives. The journey to discovering the true nature of the sacraments requires time and patience, as well as an open mind to hearing what people have to say. It is not something that should be solidified in a day, or a week, or maybe even a month. No, instead it should be explored and with great care to the scriptures and with an attentive ear turned toward the Spirit who is constantly speaking to us.
Whether the essence of Christ or the presence of the Spirit is ultimately within a sacrament or not, it is undeniable that they have important roles in the lives of believers. Sacraments have a deep and meaningful effect on our hearts and minds, even if they are not essential interwoven with grace or supernatural power. It is evident that God takes sacraments incredibly seriously, especially Baptism, Eucharist, and Marriage.
In the matter of explaining sacraments, Camille stated it best when she said that “explaining a sacrament is like explaining a kiss. Best to talk less and kiss more” (102). Knowledge is only a part of the equation; experience and engagement are the others.



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