It seems like the majority of television these days if filled with shows that are just flooded with drama. Between shows like "Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Degrassi", how are people expected to have healthy and stable emotions? Apart from that it appears that drama levels are on the rise in the lives of every day Americans and have been steadily doing so for decades.
When I say "drama", I am not talking about plays or suspense..I'm talking about situations blowing up over nothing. Things like someone crying because their "boo" got the wrong colored flowers (which is and OBVIOUS sign that they don't care), a word misread in a text message and someone immediately ending a relationship without talking it out, or a sibling being deleted off of Facebook because he/she invited him/her to take a parent to diner without actually being involved in the planning process (totally know someone who had this happen to them). No, i'm talking about the DRAMA that we used to see just in high schools and in middle schools, but now infiltrates as early as preschool to as late as eternity.
My own life is not void of this terrible disease. In fact I have a couple members of my extended family that grow the stuff, smoke it in a pipe, and then blow it in your face. If you just understood my metaphor, then you know how "suffocating" it can be to be around people who breed drama. My purpose in saying all this is not to complain, but to ask a question?
Why all the drama?!
Why the emotional and relational instability?
How should we be dealing with it?
Lets start with the first question.
"Why all the drama?" When I think about all the situations that I have endured that have yielded high concentrations of drama or when I think about those people that I know to be drama-breeders, there are a certain list of characteristics that come to mind. The list is as follows:
"How should we be dealing with it?" I have a dear friend who deals with a lot of drama in her world and it becomes a significant stress producer in her life. What baffles me is that she will sit and watch these TV shows that are nothing but drama! I asked her about this once out of concern; certain that in watching these shows that it must only be adding to her plight. Why would someone who experiences so much drama in there own life want to see it lived out by others in mass overdose? Her response was, "It helps me to get my mind of of my own drama for a while." This statement struck me...I had never considered that it might be helping her deal with her own drama. The question remains...does it help?
Bottling up emotions or ignoring ones emotions are very destructive for one's emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health (a statement derived from both common knowledge and personal experience). But pouring it all out on someone continuously isn't good either. First and foremost we have to realize our strength comes from God, and if we are truly to overcome we need to have the wisdom and strength of His Spirit. While I think that it's ok to pull away from drama from time to time to rest and refocus, it is also important that we learn to process our emotions and to communication open.
START with yourself. Pray and ask yourself if you are somebody that produces drama. If so, why? Whats the root? Once you identify it, take it to God and seek Him. When you take things to God in humility and with a willingness to work, He will help make your faith complete by strengthening you and helping you with your problems.
OTHERS might be the source of drama in your life. If they are family, well you pretty much have to live with it, but you have to learn to continue showing Christian character through love and patience (yes yes I know...easier said than done), and be sure to try to keep communicating. Express your feelings and confront family when they are going over board, just do it in love. If it is just someone you know, then you need to decide if your willing to put up with that before you let your friendship get to far. If you are willing to have a friend that produces drama...then God be with you, but don't you dare go into the relationship expecting them to change...it won't be healthy for wither of you. If you are already in too deep, be loving, patient, and try talking it out with your friend (say it with me) WITH LOVE.
This was a long reflection, but I had a lot of thoughts on it that have been building up over the last few days.
Peace be with you :]
When I say "drama", I am not talking about plays or suspense..I'm talking about situations blowing up over nothing. Things like someone crying because their "boo" got the wrong colored flowers (which is and OBVIOUS sign that they don't care), a word misread in a text message and someone immediately ending a relationship without talking it out, or a sibling being deleted off of Facebook because he/she invited him/her to take a parent to diner without actually being involved in the planning process (totally know someone who had this happen to them). No, i'm talking about the DRAMA that we used to see just in high schools and in middle schools, but now infiltrates as early as preschool to as late as eternity.
My own life is not void of this terrible disease. In fact I have a couple members of my extended family that grow the stuff, smoke it in a pipe, and then blow it in your face. If you just understood my metaphor, then you know how "suffocating" it can be to be around people who breed drama. My purpose in saying all this is not to complain, but to ask a question?
Why all the drama?!
Why the emotional and relational instability?
How should we be dealing with it?
Lets start with the first question.
"Why all the drama?" When I think about all the situations that I have endured that have yielded high concentrations of drama or when I think about those people that I know to be drama-breeders, there are a certain list of characteristics that come to mind. The list is as follows:
- Pride
- Shame
- Insecurity
- Immaturity
- Self-centered
These are the things I see most, and logically I have to come to the conclusion that there is some sort of relationship between these characteristics and the production of drama just by the sheer reality that both coincide together. Can these characteristic be present without the production of drama? Sure. Can drama be produced without these characteristics? Mmmm...maybe, but not according to my experiences nor by any extent of my ability to reason. To answer my first question, I believe that the root of "drama" is SIN.
"NOW HOLD UP!" Now for those of you reading this who might jump on the fact that I listed "shame" and would like to point out that it is not sin...I would have to say that you are right. Shame is not a sin per say. It is, however, a distortion of our mental and emotional health that was not meant to be a part of our lives and is often rooted in pride. So no, it is not a sin listed in the Bible, but it not to be something that is intimately a part of our lives. We will experience shame, but it is arguably "sinful" to live in it.
"Why the emotional and relational instability?" Given the various causes for drama, is it any wonder why it is so burdensome? These particular sins, mixed with the emotions that come with them and with drama, are very hard on a relationship, and often lead to the termination of friendship. In some cases even families are torn apart. As a former youth ministry intern, I found that most of the kids who were drama-filled, experienced a lot of drama in their homes. Teens expressed the great heartache and difficulty when facing family drama. When we live like the world owes us or based around ourselves, then we live outside of the "original design" and we suffer from our sin and form the consequences of sin. When relationships struggle, emotions spike, minds race, and we get caught in a vicious cycle of destruction.
"How should we be dealing with it?" I have a dear friend who deals with a lot of drama in her world and it becomes a significant stress producer in her life. What baffles me is that she will sit and watch these TV shows that are nothing but drama! I asked her about this once out of concern; certain that in watching these shows that it must only be adding to her plight. Why would someone who experiences so much drama in there own life want to see it lived out by others in mass overdose? Her response was, "It helps me to get my mind of of my own drama for a while." This statement struck me...I had never considered that it might be helping her deal with her own drama. The question remains...does it help?
Bottling up emotions or ignoring ones emotions are very destructive for one's emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health (a statement derived from both common knowledge and personal experience). But pouring it all out on someone continuously isn't good either. First and foremost we have to realize our strength comes from God, and if we are truly to overcome we need to have the wisdom and strength of His Spirit. While I think that it's ok to pull away from drama from time to time to rest and refocus, it is also important that we learn to process our emotions and to communication open.
START with yourself. Pray and ask yourself if you are somebody that produces drama. If so, why? Whats the root? Once you identify it, take it to God and seek Him. When you take things to God in humility and with a willingness to work, He will help make your faith complete by strengthening you and helping you with your problems.
OTHERS might be the source of drama in your life. If they are family, well you pretty much have to live with it, but you have to learn to continue showing Christian character through love and patience (yes yes I know...easier said than done), and be sure to try to keep communicating. Express your feelings and confront family when they are going over board, just do it in love. If it is just someone you know, then you need to decide if your willing to put up with that before you let your friendship get to far. If you are willing to have a friend that produces drama...then God be with you, but don't you dare go into the relationship expecting them to change...it won't be healthy for wither of you. If you are already in too deep, be loving, patient, and try talking it out with your friend (say it with me) WITH LOVE.
This was a long reflection, but I had a lot of thoughts on it that have been building up over the last few days.
Peace be with you :]
One has to wonder. Everything we watch on television and in movies has beautiful people, so people begin to think of that as normal, so they want to be more beautiful. Everything we watch on television and in movies has tons of drama, so we begin to think that's normal, so they want more drama in their own lives.
ReplyDeleteWe're stupid. And we don't read nearly enough books.
Hahahaha! So true.
ReplyDelete