God: Faithful to the Faithless

“Lord, make haste to save us…”

In Friday’s readings (Psalm 69, 73; Genesis 43:1-15; I Corinthians 7:1-9; Mark 4:35-41) we were bid by Isaiah to seek God, to forsake our sins, and to turn to God. We were then given a promise of reconciliation and redemption from God as result of our repentance. Lent is a time in which we are drawn to repentance, but it is also a time to meditate on the attributes and characteristics of God.

As I read the assigned readings for Friday, I found myself drawn to meditate on His faithfulness to His people. David cries out to God for help and speaks the heaviness of his despair and the many troubles that he faces. In the midst of his lamenting, he speaks of the goodness of God. He does not ask God to be good, but instead asks that, in light of His goodness, God would act out of His very nature.

In the New Testament reading, Christ saves His disciples from the wrath of the storm, and they are amazed. He then convicts them for their lack of faith, and they are amazed. It is important to point out that Christ did not wait until they had faith to act upon their situation. He did not hesitate. This is a major testament to the nature of our God!

We know not whether David was full of faith when he wrote Psalm 69 or not, but we know that God is faithful to come to our aid even when we are faithless. The cross is proof of this fact! He came “while we were yet sinners” and out of His nature He delivered us. He does not rely on us, but instead sees our lack and calls us to faith that we might know and be known by Him.

Look closely at your life, and I promise that you will see a thousand places where Christ intervened; a thousand times He was faithful even when you had all but lost hope that He would come through. Let us not forget the faithfulness of God, especially as we stand in the shadow of the cross and as Resurrection Sunday lies just a few weeks away.

Praise God for his faithfulness despite our brokenness! Let us repent, not that we might earn favor, but because He is deserving of our obedience and love! Let faith well up in our hearts in the knowledge that He is our God. He will never abandon us in the darkness, and death will never overcome us.

Grace and Peace

To Exile And Be Exiled

One of things I hate the most is when a preacher starts breaking down the Old Testament stories into "stages" and says "this is what every Christian goes through. These are the stages of our Spiritual journey!" The truth is that there is a measure of truth to what these preachers say. I do not think, however, that it is as cut and dry as many make it out to be and I often think they take it to the extreme, but there is truth nonetheless.

Israel was lead into a time of exile. 40 years in a desert just wandering around in circles before God took them into the promised land. It is important to remember that this is the history of a nation of people and not about individuals. It is not the rule that God leads His people in deserts, and to look at this passage and say "well this is a physical example of what God does spiritually for us now by leading us through spiritual deserts" might be a bit of stretch, and even a misuse of the text. It is, however, showing us that God is willing to lead us into times of great struggle and pain: a concept not very often talked about in prosperity-gospel churches.

We also learn from their exile that God is faithful to provide, just as he did with King Nebuchadnezzar that He sent into exile to be as a wild animal for 7 years and with Adam and Eve after the Fall. God leads us into periods of exile for the purpose of our growth and purging of sin.

Jacob went into exile for the sake of protecting himself from his brother whom he robbed of the birthright, and God met him there in his exile and changed him. When the time was right he was restored to his brother and peace was made.

Elijah too threw himself into exile to escape the wrath of an evil queen, in which God never rebuked, but instead provided him with the strength to travel to where He would reveal Himself to Elijah and ask "Why are you here?" God, knowing all, asked Elijah why he was there, gave him the opportunity to engage with Him, and to experience Him in an incredible way. From there God led him on to anoint those who would take his place and then took him up into heaven.

Exile often is painful, but it is also the tool by which God mends our hearts, changes our desires, and grants protection. It is the tool that keeps us safe from broken and destructive family situations until such time as reconciliation can be achieved.

Sometimes exile is necessary, even if it isn't exactly desirable or even causes one to sacrifice something precious to him or her. There are times where God exiles us, we exile others, and we exile ourselves for the sake of holiness, healing, or even love. It's rarely ever an enjoyable venture, but is more often required than we are willing to admit.

The question becomes, if exile becomes necessary, will we follow the Spirit's leading by going into exile or by commissioning another to exile? Or will we resist Him until He forces it upon us?

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

The Beauty of Ruins

My favorite type of games to play growing up are what are known as "real-strategy games." My brother and I both played these games, but we had very different ways of playing. While he would do what he could to build up his forces quickly and wipe out his opponent without mercy and without patience, I would often do the opposite. I was defensive in my strategies. I loved building up walls and structures and creating strongholds. I wanted to make cities of refuge and flawless defense. Nothing was to get through. I would become frustrated whenever my walls fell or if I experienced invasion. Inevitably, I would lose a match because I would spend all my time and resources trying to keep the walls intact and perfect instead of taking action.

I am but dust...

Turns out that my strategy for playing video games was not so different than my strategy for life. I've lived my entire life as a wall builder and a perfectionist, desperate to keep control over what people see and don't see about me. Wanting to keep myself impenetrable and free of hurt. Wanting to make myself safe and to appear perfect and whole, even when I wasn't. My efforts proved to be in vain time and time again, and yet I never changed my strategy. I followed through with my building castles and fortresses, and over time my walls have been breached, burned, and found wanting.

I am but dust, and to dust I shall return...

What I have realized recently is that God has been playing a significant part in the destruction of my defenses. Why? Because locked away behind my castle doors I would have died of starvation and disease
. I need my defenses destroyed so that I might grow and that I might know Him more. I needed to be free of my own trap and begin living a different life.

I have been humbled. God took my self-perceived perfections and laid them bare. He took the things I was proud of and shattered them before me, revealing the flaws and showing me who I really am...a sinner; a flawed human being in need of grace. He has seem it fit that I might suffer for the sake of being made pure. To not be caught up in perfection and the safety and comfort of control, but instead to be real and to be vulnerable in the ways He wants me to be. Vulnerable that I might provide love, healing, and shelter for others who are in pain and in need. I can't reach out to other and run to their aid when I'm too busy cowering behind my whitewashed walls.

 I am but dust, and to dust I shall return. Lord...

I have found beauty in the ruins of my soul. In my destruction I am being made into place of refuge. My greatest defense must be God, not my works and my efforts; not my reputation or in opinions. My greatest good is God and my perfection is Him and Him alone. Let the storm come; let the walls be obliterated and my ivory towers break. I know It is for my strengthening and my purging. Let them fall. I know my God is with me and He won't abandon me. Take what I have, I deserve none of it anyway.

I am but dust...
And to dust I shall return...
Lord, Make haste to save...

Compelling Words From a French Priest

This past month, a group of men and I read through a book called "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" by Jean-Pierre De Caussade. Jean-Pierre was a priest in France during the 1700's. During this time he wrote a series of letters to a group of nuns which was later published under the name "Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence." 

The book was the perfect read for me in this time in my life! I have entered into a significant time of transition and have been, as I have stated in a recent post, trying to live more in present and engage the people around me. This book spoke to my heart concerning this very issue that I have been wrestling with over the last several weeks! 

Jean-Pierre wove together a beautiful picture of surrender as he spoke of the Christian life and our need to be aware of the Spirit's work in this very moment in our lives. He spoke often of suffering and of darkness as being a part of the will of God. One of the statements that most stood out to me was his writing about those who struggle to reach spiritual greatness and instead experience affliction and struggle. He says:

"Perfection come to them, not through reason, enlightenment of reflection, but through every affliction sent by God, through their duty to the present moment and through impulses with nothing good about them, though not actually sinful."

He goes on to talk about the afflicted person being filled with despair and shame as he sees the weighty standards of "saintliness" that he sees others appearing to fulfill. He, in fact, finds himself "condemned: by the lives of the saints! He goes on to say that, "It is in these afflictions, which succeed one another each moment, that God, veiled and obscured, reveals Himself, mysteriously bestowing his grace in a manner quite unrecognized by souls who feel only weakness in bearing their cross, distaste for performing their duty, and capable of only mediocre spiritual practices."

This is something that resonates with me deeply! I have found that it has been in the turmoil, struggle, disappointments, and strife that God has done the most to change my heart and make me into a better person. This goes back to the topic of "purging" that I wrote about several weeks back.

We have a duty to the present. The past is gone and, though it affects us still, we are no longer living in it. We are here in the "now" and so is the will of God. His Spirit beckons us to be apart of the world that we are presently in and not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will come in it's time. We have a duty to those we engage with and to our jobs and our communities; with the understanding that God is with us and is active in this moment to bring us closer to perfection and to purer intimacy with Him.

Be here; be present.

Grace and Peace

Stephen

Where Dusk Meets the Dawn

Some days I think I got stuff figured out; that I've discovered the attitude and mindset that one should bear to experience fullness of growth and live most submitted to the will of God. In my defense, I've never claimed to be without pride haha. Every time I get to the point where I think "Oh man, I think I got it this time!" God is like "NOPE! Good try though!", and then I'm back at the drawing board.

Today is one of those days where I am struck with the realization that I definitely don't know everything, and also a day where I realize that I haven't quite dealt with some stuff that I thought I had! It's subtle experiences and revelations that keep life interesting. They slip in and the world changes!

Today I am filled with awe as I meditate on my relationship with God. I recognize a dissonance in my heart toward the cliche word "relationship". Partially because the word is incredibly overused, but another is that it seems so...limiting. The word cannot grasp the depth of what it is to know God and be known by God. At least, it doesn't seem to.

I have come to the conclusion that the question "how is your relationship with God?" is a very poor one to ask. I have found that a better question would be "how are you doing spiritually?" or "What has spiritual discipline been looking like for you lately?" These are questions that more accurately portray what is being asked and provides better insight into one's interaction with God and much more informative of the soul's formation.

To describe one's relationship with God is so difficult compared to a relationship with another human being. It is the colors of daytime mixed with the solitude and peace of the country. It is the ocean waves crashing against the sand; the wind rushing over grassy plains. It is where city meets country. It is dawn and dusk all in one. It is a divine dance of romance; of joy and of sorrow. To be in a "relationship" with the great, eternal Being that created everything, who loves perfectly and is perfectly trustworthy...it is an incredibly one sided relationship indeed.

I cannot describe God, so why would I think that I can capture what it is to be loved by Him or to live life alongside Him? I can't even begin to understand why He causes or allows certain events and circumstances to occur, so why do I believe I can define it or create a formula for spirituality?

I used to believe that the heart of God was found in Israel, in a certain biological and political grouping of humanity and Christians were an add on. I was wrong, the heart of God is humanity as a whole! It's in the individual person and in the gathering of people. His heart is us. Is delight is in us! In our broken, marred, and disgusting state He loves and delights in us! He craves and pursues humanity, allowing us to experience His glory and love, though we deserve annihilation.

How great and magnificent is our God above all other gods?! How pure and loving and majestic is He who sacrificed Himself to Himself to pay a debt that was not His and to bring forth reconciliation on our behalf when we were found incapable of doing so ourselves!

Perhaps you are going through a time of sorrow and it is difficult to see God in the midst of the shadows of life. Even the darkness whispers of the love of God. I find that this is often the case for me as well, but I have found that God has never left me and it is in the shadows that He reveals His healing light. Do not fear the darkness for Christ is with you. Do not fret the valley for it does not last forever, and when you breach the mist and walk out of the the crevice of death you will find Him there and He will give you peace.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"Lord, Make Me Peace..."

I was driving home from work after a long day of dealing with corporate visitors, straightening clothes, and absolute boredom! I was exhausted and my mind was heavy with the many aspects of life that are difficult, troubling, and heavy on my heart. Thought after thought rolled through my mind and then I finally rested on the relieving reality that in merely a week I will be with my friends spending a week in Savannah, GA! I was filled with excitement over the soon coming vacation!

As I was thinking about the trip, my thoughts turned to my friends' newly born son, Edmund and I thought of the crying baby and, for some reason, I welcomed the idea of being kept awake because of a little crying baby. Weird right?! As I daydreamed of this possible event, I imagined that I was able to calm the weeping lad and that was the point of contact for the Spirit to plant a renewed desire in my heart! Peace: to have peace, to give peace, and to be made into peace!

My mind was immediately filled with the words of St. Francis and longed to be a wellspring of peace.

The world isn't full of peace these days. we are surrounded with discussions of war and revolt. Chaos fills our work spaces, family encounters, and our troubled psyches. Something that we lack, and severely need, is peace. In Christ, I should be striving to be an instrument of peace in the world. We are called to be peacemakers; centers of calm in the storms of life. It is sad that, even though we have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, we are not often very peace-giving or peace-making.

I recognize the horrible truth that I myself am often a bringer of chaos; I often let my mind fall into chaos in the midst of undesirable situations rather than yielding myself to the Spirit's work in me. Instead of disciplining my mind I let my heart grow impatient and even cold towards others, rather than stepping in with the strength and wisdom of God to put an end to the wars raging around me. This is not a holy way to live and is not honoring to God.

Sin dwells within our hearts. It is the cancer of our souls; the broken aspect of our humanity. It is my sin that separates me from God and it is my tainted human nature that stirs my heart to malice, selfishness, and unholistic living and thinking. I am on this journey of redemption and healing, but I have a long way to go before I reach before I get to where God really wants me to be. He is walking with me through this and as He and I engage in this divine romance I am being made more and more like Him. That is what I experienced today in my car. A moment of with God in which He spoke softly to me and told me that He wanted me to be something different; revealing a part of me that has all but evaded my sight. In the midst of this revelation all I could say was, "Lord, make me peace..."

In this Lenten season, let us seek to be men and women of peace. Let us become instruments of peace for the world, and let's start where it often the most difficult-right in our own homes and relationships.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

How To Save A Life

Last Thursday I participated in a CPR/AED training course that was set up through my church. As soon as they announced the class I was beyond excited about the opportunity and signed up as soon as I could and juggled my schedule with my manager to ensure that I could attend! Why? Because if I ever find myself in the middle of a crisis or stumble upon a person in need of CPR I want to be able to step up and help! I don't want to be just another person that found himself thinking, "man, I wish I known how to save them...I wish I had taken the time to learn the skills to save that person's life." 

Life is precious. It is a gift from God, and it is also quite fragile. CPR training is just one way we can prepare ourselves for the unforeseeable and possibly life-threatening situations we might stumble across. I would highly encourage you to go and get this training. You might be the one person who can make a difference to a person in need. It is well worth your time and effort to be prepared to make an impact in the lives of others. When you save one life, you don't affect just one life! You affect husbands, wives, children, parents, friends, etc! 

Come on y'all...let's train our minds an bodies to be effective in the world and make an impact in our communities and the world!

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Slavery Exists? Like What?

Every time I hear the word "slave" I find myself suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. It is difficult for me to fathom the concept of slavery or owning a human being. Being from the South, it is very much a part of my heritage, even though there are none in my ancestral tree that I know of that have owned slave, in fact most of my family came over after the end of slavery and nearly all suffered the curse of racism in America. Slavery feels like a very distant concept; far removed from the present/modern world.

Slavery is a part of the dark history of America, as well as most of the world. It is, however, not just the dark "history" of America. It is the demon that still haunts us even today. Slavery never left, it merely changed its clothing. Even worse, America's ever increasing hypersexuality has led to even further depths of the presence of slavery in the world. 

Sex slavery happens every single day throughout the world. Of course, sex slavery has been around since the earliest civilizations, but it seems that with the changing times and the growing equality of genders, we are seeing the darker and more abusive expression of sex slavery.  To make things worse, the evolving perspectives of sexuality and what is or is not acceptable in media and public knowledge is making such behavior more "acceptable" and desensitizing us to the severity of the issue. What has always been there is more exposed to be seen by the world and even being taken to greater levels of intensity. Despite it's exposure, it "appears" to be less known and left unaddressed. It's the elephant in the room that everyone is avoiding; everyone is trying not to talk about it or admit it exists. 

Human trafficking was always a common topic at Bryan College, the place where I completed my undergraduate studies, but it was over a year after leaving before I began to fully accept the need for my actions in this crisis. While I have always cared and been opposed to slavery, I have not always been active in fighting against this evil in our midst. The fact is that we have a responsibility as Christians to take a stand against this injustice and the enslavement of women and men throughout the world.

I am no expert on human trafficking. This has become increasingly clear to me as I have conversed with friends over the matter and engaged in conversations at work about the problems of human trafficking where I found that I lacked the depth of knowledge and the info to persuade others of the need for action. Enough is enough! I'm not going to be a bystander in this anymore!

We have a responsibility to the world to seek justice and liberty for all races and both genders.We stand in a world of Darkness and, just as the revolutionary in the movie Les Miserables cried out before his death, we cry "...till all the World is free!"

Slavery exists! Let us stand against it together under the banner of the Cross and cry for justice until our voices crack and our vocal cords rip from the stain of our screaming in the faces of the leaders! The same leaders who claim to be for the people and yet do nothing to end the torment and abuse!

How can you help? Easy! There are thousands of ways to fight against this evil. Here are a few:

• Make people aware via art, blogging, conversations with friends, etc.
• Participating in awareness movements such as the EndIt movement.
• Educating your children and your children's friends. 
• Teaching about human trafficking in schools and churches.
• Providing food to the hungry.
• Giving jobs to women in need.
• Working to end poverty.
• Volunteering at homeless shelters and providing shelter to people in need.
• Reaching to family in need and struggling. 

The list of possible actions are nigh endless, and there is so much that YOU can do just by being active in your church and your local communities. The first, and biggest, step towards the healing of the world and the end of slavery is talking about! Let's #EndIt together!

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Moving On

Upon my graduation just a little over a year and a half ago, I found myself facing some difficult truths about myself. I was prideful, naive, self-centered, insecure, etc. I was constantly bumping heads with my family and my friends. I was angry all the time and I felt the weight of my past and my present crushing me and it fogged up my head; leading me to say and do things that have forever changed my life. After several months of getting no where I moved to Knoxville to take a job that...well, it didn't work out (collections sucks y'all), and for the past year I have worked part time in a retail department store and wrestling with the state of my heart and who I am as a man and a Christian.

I have had a lot of good days and a lot of bad. Moving away from home was one of the best things I could have done for myself, and I have had some pretty amazing friends to help me along the way. Facing one's own depravity and past is not an easy task, and thankfully I haven't had to do it on my own.

I have been reflecting on, and wrestling with, the various aspects of my life and experiences I accumulated over the last 23 years, including my teenage life and the theology that I heard (and believed) as I grew up. I have dealt with a lot of frustration, sadness, joy, and many more emotions as a result and have had a great number of revelations about myself. I have experienced significant growth and have had to accept a lot of hard truths.

I have been doing this for quite a long time and now I believe it is time to look past my...well, past haha. In the midst of my reflection I have not been fully engaged with the world around me. I retreated away for a time of healing, but now it's time for me to reengage the world. I am not saying that I am forgetting my past altogether or ignoring it's effect on my life, but I am saying that I am reprioritizing my life and putting my osat on the back burner. The past is important but not at the expense of the present and the future, which is what I have been doing up until this point.

With that said...HERE WE GO!

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

We Are But Dust and Shadows

One of my favorite book series ever is the Infernal Devices trilogy by Cassandra Clare. In this series we take a look into a fictional world of demon hunters called "Nephilim", a special race of humans that have Angel blood running in their veins that were created to fight demons and prevent the destruction of humanity. I was drawn to these books and very much enjoyed the plot and characters within, but something that really stood out to me was the phrase that was posted in front of the homebase of the Nephilim called "The Institute"; that phrase is Pulvus et Umbra Sumus" which means "We are but Dust and Shadows." 

Just two nights ago, the majority of the Christian world experienced the liturgical holiday known as Ash Wednesday. I, sadly enough, had to work and found myself rushing to Apostle's Anglican Church for the special service. I arrived just in time for the imposition of ashes! I took a seat in the back and waited for my turn to go. As I waited I prayed prayers of forgiveness and repentance, and as I did those words from iron gateway of The Institute echoed in my mind..."we are but dust and shadows." 

I soon found myself walking towards the front. The air was filled with the mourning of the saints and tears of repentance; the remembrance of our brokenness and fragility. I watched as my priests placed ashes on the heads of my brothers and sisters. Tears streamed from the eyes of one of the priests as he placed the ashes upon the foreheads of his wife and children. My turn was approaching and I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and, with tears still pouring from his eyes, my priest placed the mark upon my head and spoke the words, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust shall you return."

Ash Wednesday is a day that is dedicated to repentance and remembering the mortality of humanity. It is the day marking the genesis of Lent and our approach to the mournful day of "Good Friday" and the celebration of the joyous day we call "Easter." Now it has passed and Lent is in full swing, but we must not forget the truth behind those heart piercing words "...you are dust, and to dust shall you return." Our lives "are short and there is but little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be quick to love and make haste to be kind." Let us remember that:
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• We are but dust and shadows. We are the creation of an almighty Creator and we are worthless in the light of His holy majesty. 
• We are sinners and deserve to be punished and obliterated by a holy and perfect Diety who despises sin and wickedness.
• We are loved by that same Holy God, and though we are unworthy He desires to be with us; for us to know Him and be be known by Him. 

We humble ourselves, repent, and fast. Not because we are trying to earn His favor or our salvation, but because we can't we can't earn these things and yet they are given nonetheless. We honor Him for He is worthy and He deserves our worship and service. There is nothing we can offer Him that He needs, for we are but dust and shadows, but we are made more than the dirt because of His Spirit breathed into us and His love for us. The love of God is the greatest source of our value and it is the great equalizer of humanity. It makes us equal for God loves unconditionally and, therefore, is not lessened or magnified by personality, power, talent, piety, or persuasion. Let us remember these things as we proceed in our journey toward the cross. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen