"Troubles" By Stephen Green II

They say troubles come in 3’s;

I say that troubles grow on trees.

Smoke billows around weeping willows

And all is silent upon the tear-stained pillows.

In a young man’s room where shadows promise comfort,

The loneliness of the Middle dampens every effort

To be more than just a byproduct of lust and desire;

To be more than a pawn’s head placed upon a crooked spire. 

They say troubles come in 3’s

I say that troubles grow on trees.

Shelters are prisons and forts are cages;

Punishments plus smiles are offered as wages.

Insensitively screaming “You think you got the stuff?!”

To the boy that dared to say “Dad,that’s enough.”

Other-worldly strength hidden behind weakness.

The strength of a man behind involuntary meekness. 

They say troubles comes in 3’s

I say troubles grow on trees. 

Yet there is hope amidst the strain 

And priceless is the gain

When one survives the storm

And goes against the norm.

A Christian most suceeds

When troubles grow on trees.

The Art of Giving and Receiving

This past week I met up with the head rector of my church for lunch and conversation. We discussed a great many things going on in my life and the various decisions that I currently am facing. I shared my frustrations and my concerns about my lack of ministry work since having been in Knoxville and my failed attempt to be involved in a ministry earlier on in the year, to which he gave a response I was not expecting. "God is trying to teach you to receive", he said, "He is balancing you out and not allowing you to give because in giving you have control and in receiving you have none. Learn to receive. It's ok that God has you in this place and it's ok to receive."

These words have taken a good deal of my thinking and pondering this week. He is completely right! It;s is good to be someone who knows how to be giving, but it is also good to be one who can receive when the need is there. It is not an easy thing for me to receive money and gifts, even when I have great need of it; in my pride I often refrain from turning to others for help. This deprives others of the opportunity to show Christ to me, as well as causes me to suffer for my own pride. I am, in a sense, dishonoring the beauty of the Church and not allowing her to function as She should in the world because I brush off help and say "that is for someone in greater need tan I."

At the same time, the church needs to be ready to show love and grace to those in need, especially those within the body of Christ. I remember several years back I was sitting with a few people from my church that I didn't know very well. They were older members of the congregation and,, as far as I knew, very active seekers of God and His will. One of the kids from the small group I led was there with me as well. As we were sitting, a man entered the church and approached us; he asked if he could speak with an elder of the church or the pastor. He explained that he was in great need and was looking for anyone who would help him; he also stated that his own church had denied him any service or aid.

In response I explained that the church did not have "elders" but that I would be more than welcome to direct him to the secretary and he might be able to speak with the head pastor. I directed him to the offices and then returned to me seat. After he had departed, one of the two older members spoke. "I wouldn't DARE show up at a church like that asking for help!", she said, "When I and my husband hit rock bottom I went and found another job and I paid off our bills and I pulled us out of debt! The nerve!" This angered me greatly, but I stayed calm. I tried to reason with her but she would not budge. Lost in her pride, she refused to to even see that the church is the first place a person in need should turn. She was caught up in her own achievements and allowed those to justify her indignite behavior towards the man that came knocking and, in humility, asking for aid.

As far as I know, that man did receive help. Thankfully, the leadership was not as arrogant and and unloving as that woman. We all have areas of our life that we fail in, and we must all go through the process of being purged of our false thinking. I pray that that woman will one day see the errors in her thinking so that she can begin to fulfill the gospel in an even greater way rather than boasting in the false gospel of achievement.

In the same way, I have failed. I have fallen for the false gospel of achievement by seeking to be the giver and by doing deeds to gain favor, rather than doing good simply because I love God or because I love people. Giving out of selfish motivation and self gratification/glorification is just as sinful as the woman belittling the man and boasting of her on achievements.

Love God. Love others as yourself.

These summarize all the law, and when we do these we learn to engage in the art of giving and receiving to/from God and to/from our community of believers.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

"It Goes On"

There was once a great, American poet by the name of Robert Frost who spoke to the hearts and souls of western civilization. Though he has long since passed from this Earth, his words echo through the years and we are affected still. It is said that he once stated that he found that Life could be summed up into three simple words: "It goes on."

These words have become the catchphrase of my life, as well as for a few of my closest friends. Hardship, struggle, and purging are the essence of what it means to be alive, 20-something, and/or Christian. This is way of life in a world full of sin and darkness. It is the graces of God that keep up going and prevent us from breaking under the pressure of sin's consequences. By all reason, the world should have collapsed on itself ages ago, but the work of the Spirit has kept everything at bay. 

In the midst of the deeply rooted pain in my soul and the Spirit's surging of my heart, which is not so much more pleasant, I have begun to gain the faintest understanding of Christ's work of redemption in us. I have seen such growth in myself, and yet I see that I have even farther to go that I once thought. I am a sinner. I am tainted by the falsity and broken desires that compel me to act and think in ways that are contrary to the wholeness that God designed in humanity at the genesis of time. The knowledge of how much weight I bear verses  that reality that Christ bears much more of my baggage for me is a humbling thing. Christ is with me, always. Life goes on. It's hard to think that there is more ahead; that one must not submit themselves to despair but instead push forward with all their might to "live". The refusing to cave under the already tremendous pressure is a difficult task and one that is to often left unaccomplished. 

There is a time for peace and a time for war. I'm learning to trust Christ and to know that I can't wait around for things to just be better. Life doesn't wait for anyone...it goes on. Bad things are inevitable and suffereing will occur, but it's ok because life goes on...

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

10 Minutes that Changed a Life

Many years ago I found myself doing an odd job that involved me driving a van all over Chattanooga delivering flowers for Valentine's day. I took dozens of flowers all over the area. One in particular stood out to me the most and still touches my heart even today.

I approaches this small house on missionary ridge and, as I had with so many houses before, checked thrice to make sure that I had the right address. Once I was certain that I had arrived in the right place I approached the door. An elderly, black woman opened the door and greeted me. I returned the greeting and asked "Are you Ms. Joy?" (pseudonym....duh). She responded with a very confused "yes?", and at it was then that I offered her the flowers.

Her eyes flew open wide with shock and she began stumbling over her words as she asked, "What? What? For ME?! Are you SURE?! Who would send ME flowers?!" As she took the flowers from my hand she began to cry, still asking if I was sure they were hers and if I knew who sent them. She held the flowers close as tears ran down her face in pure happiness from receiving the unexpected Valentine.

Ms. Joy no longer looked at me with confusion and as if I were a stranger. No, I was now embraced with a look that spoke of friendship and love. Though we knew each other not, the barriers of defense and difference had been removed. She hugged me in gratitude and thanked me immensely for delivering the flowers to her. Soon she began sharing the gospel with me and exhorting me to be encouraged to always chase after God's will for my life!

Soon we bid each other farewell and went our separate ways. That 10 minute encounter changed my life. I didn't know who sent the flowers, but I hope that she found that person so as to be able to show her love and gratitude to them as well. I hope they know how much they deeply affected Ms. Joy that day.

There are so many people out there living in utter loneliness. In a world that is so heavily saturated by social media and means of communication, we are beyond "disconnected". The very people in our churches and even our own families go throughout their days in loneliness; they are overwhelmed by the deafening silence. They go un-encouraged and feeling completely out of place in the world. Teenagers cry themselves to sleep at night not knowing whether or not they are loved by their parents; young women give themselves away to advantageous young men who see their craving for affirmation and love. We can change the world, but not by bribes, petitions, force, or hype. No, we change the world through the power of Christ and by the outpouring of the love of Christ. We can restore the Church by just stepping out to love those that we share pews with every week.

It's not Valentine's Day for a couple more months, but that doesn't mean that we can't go out of our way to show love and appreciation to those around us. Perhaps you know of someone who is lonely or in need of some encouragement right now. Why not do some small, random kindness to them so they might know that they are not alone; to let them know that they have not gone unnoticed or unloved? You can touch the life of a lonely, old women, and you might even change a delivery boys life too.

Love God and Love others...

Grace & Peace,

Stephen

Priority Shift

Of late I have been heavily contemplating what my next step in life should be. I believe that I have allowed myself to fall into an inconsistency in thought, as well as having submitted myself to enslavement to time by means of worrying. Worrying about what I want to do and where I go and about wasting time…and in turn wasting time. Time isn't going to stop to wait for me to decide to do something. It goes on while I sit around and weigh my options and pick apart my desires to make sure that I truly want to do the things I think I want to do. It’s quite ironic actually.

Additionally, I have been mulling over the nature of my blog and what I want my blog to be. I have shifted around quite a bit over the last couple years, and if you have read farther back into my blog you might detect the change in style and subject matter between now and the genesis of my public writing. I went through a period of time where I tried to advocate theological positions and intentionally push thoughts out for people to mull over. Too much of what was written during that time was artificial and manufactured. I fought for words rather than writing my heart out with the natural flow of my soul. It wasn't fully me and, as a result, my writing suffered. This is a revelation that I have received in my contemplating my use of time and current perspective of life and career.

In turn, I believe it is important that I restructure my blog. I want it to be a place for honest words and thoughts, but not to the point where it becomes a place to just emotionally rape the eyes of my readers. To a degree I believe that my blog has already begun to reflect this desire. This is not a place for me to just spill emotions and rant about life. It is, however, a place to wrestle with real questions and to invite others to join me in questioning and reflection, not just me trying to advocate my opinions. When I do share my opinions, however, I am seeking to be more straight forward and honest in my doing so, rather than dancing around them (as I too often do). This place is an honest place.

It is time my friends for a priority shift and change of focus. For “life is short and there is but little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. Therefore, be quick to love and make haste to be kind.”

Grace and Peace

Stephen

Giving Grace

In college, I was forced to wrestle with the attributes of God and His character. A topic of great difficulty for me was the topic of Grace. I believed in the grace of God, but I didn't fully grasp it. Heck I'm still far from fully comprehending the grace of God, but who truly understands any given attribute of God? 

As with most things, we often fail to take such things into balance. We all too often fall to one extreme or another, leaving us acting as if grace doesn't even exists or forgetting that God is also our Judge and will hold us accountable for our actions at all. Sin is evil. God hates sin. There is grace for those who repent. 

God has been reminding me of the importance of grace in my life: recognizing my sinful state, being grateful for the grace that I don't deserve but am given regardless, and accepting with joy the reality that I am called to do the same. Grace and love for all. I am not God, but I represent him on this earth. I am, therefore, called to to speak truth to those I encounter, be honest about sin, and then show grace. 

I often fail to show grace for the small things. When a lot of grace is required I am able to give it, but it's the small subtle actions that shouldn't be so hard to forgive or to show grace for that I struggle with. This is mainly with other people though, grace for family is a much more difficult ground to conquer. In some ways, this feels like a great tragedy. Shouldn't family be the easiest to forgive and to give grace to? For many this may be true, but I do not believe this is the rule, nor do I believe that a struggle to show grace to a family member is any more of an issue than the struggle to give grace to a total stranger. 

Christ taught grace and He displayed this in his eating with tax collectors and talking with prostitutes. He gave Himself to the sinners of this world in ultimate sacrifice for their sins, and this is the love He has for us and it is the love that He demands of us. Thankfully...there is grace! For we are not capable of full and complete love as our God has. We are the fallen: the dark and hideous shadows of creation, and yet God loves us and grants us grace to be able to give grace to others. So next time that guy at work won't shut up and just rants away about stuff he knows nothing about, when that friend shafts you and leaves you high and dry, or that woman behind the counter of the gas station is a total jerk to you,  remember that Christ gave us grace for our sins in entire and that giving grace for minor things as a rude cashier, an annoying co-worker, or a betrayal of a friend is not too big a thing to give. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen