Sweet, Sweet Memories

Today I went to the office of my apartment complex to retrieve a package that I WASN'T expecting. Upon retrieving the package I immediately looked for the sender's info; I was delighted to find that the package was form a couple of dear friends of mine currently living in the frozen wonderland of New Canada (a.k.a Minnesota).

It's amazing how something as simple as a bag of coffee and few personal, thoughtful notes written on the side of said bag of coffee can brighten ones day and flood one's thoughts with a thousand beautiful memories of times gone by! :)

A year ago I might have mourned the passing of that period of my life and taken upon myself a cloak of sadness at no longer being near these friends of mine or being in Italy with them. I find, however, that I over the last year that God has so greatly worked in my heart and mind that instead of sadness, I fully embrace the  joy of times past, the gratitude of friendships that survive the harshness of time and distance, and the grace of a God that has allowed me to have both.

I may no longer be in Italy, but I still have those memories. I may not be living in the same building as those dear friends of mine, but I still call them friends and I know that we are there for each other if life were to rage against us. I have learned from the past and look to the future with a great hope and with the knowledge that I have many more unique experiences awaiting me. Places to go, people to meet, and a God that is going to be with me through it all!

Ave Atque Vale! Hail and Farewell!

Peace be upon you,

Stephen

The Mirrors of Fiction

If I were ever to write a book, I think that the hardest part would be to create a diverse collection of characters that didn't reflect me. It would be difficult to not make a hero character that had my red hair, irresistible charm, and incredibly handsome features! Haha, I'm just kidding. It is true, however, that the characters that I created would be highly influenced by my thoughts, experience, worldview, and personality traits. I wonder how various authors see their characters and how they develop them. Do the authors ever see themselves in the books they write?

I know that I often find myself in the books that I'm reading. In the movies and TV shows I find myself clinging to characters and feeling as if I have some sort of tie to that character. The question is, why? I wondered for a time if perhaps my seeing myself in characters of a book was merely my self-centered nature coming out...me thinking of myself more than I should, but no. That is not the case. Within characters of fictitious origin and through their action or inaction we can discover ourselves. We can learn about who we are, who we are not, and who we wish we were.

As a part of my recent desire to be self-aware I decided to engage in a little exercise. I began analyzing  my childhood favorites and began to search for answers as to why I loved them so much. What I found was very interesting. The following is a list of some favorite characters that I have held most dear and/or found connection with over the course of my life:

• Luke Skywalker (If you don't know what movie he's in...just stop reading and go educate yourself)
• Obi-Wan Kenobi (Episode I version)
• Yoda (Duuuuhhhh)
• Gandalf (LoTR)
• Elrond (Also, LoTR)
• Eragon (Inheritance series)
• Raven (Teen Titans)
• Batman (but not Bruce Wayne...which I find interesting)
• William Herondale (The Infernal Devices series)
• Clary Fairchild (The Mortal Instruments series)
• Pretty much any of the main characters from Avatar: the Last Airbender (each one for a different reason)

Many of the characters I liked came from the desire to be wise and be a person others turn to for support and guidance (hence Yoda and Gandalf), while others seemed to embody the loneliness and the feeling of darkness within myself while desiring to be a person of light and good (Raven, Batman, William, etc.) and others still represented my desire to be someone that rose out of weakness and mediocrity to become a person of honor and a protector of life and justice (Clary, Luke, Eragon, etc). 

Additionally, I found that I have a high view of words and language...almost to the point of believing that my words actually hold supernatural power (a doctrine often found in charismatic churches that I found appealing). This admiration for language and power in words only reinforced my love for the characters Gandalf, Raven, Clary, William, and Eragon. 

If you don't know these characters that's ok. While it would be easier for you to grasp an understanding of me through the knowledge of these fictitious entities, they are not necessary. So what about you? What can you glean from exploring your own thoughts and emotions concerning books, movies, and the like? What can you achieve from taking the time to pick apart your favorite heroes and villains? Think of the cartoon characters you associated yourself with as a child; of the books you read and the stories you most loved and the ones you most hated. Why did you like them? Why did you hate them? You might find out something about yourself that you never knew. 

It could be something as broad as something that encompasses human nature as a whole, or something a precise as unique trait that makes up who you are as an individual.

Through the creations of artists, play-writers, and authors we can answer the questions of identify and become self-aware in ways that would otherwise be harder or even impossible. I believe we can look past the shallow feelings of "like" or "dislike" and catch a glimpse or ourselves through the mirrors that are stories and fairy tales, and even through historical events and people long deceased.

Peace be with you,

Stephen

"Shin'do Sin'dorei!"

I love World of Warcraft! Even though I haven't played in over a year, I still know a fair amount of the lore and can share far more details about the story than you (yes, you) would care to hear, thus the title in Thalasian (Blood Elf) stating "Glory to the Blood Bourne". I would be lying if I said that I wasn't proud of my level 85 Blood Elf Shadow Priest named Kohenshedon. Just saying...FOR THE HORDE!

While I loved WoW, I ceased playing for school. I'm cool like that. I didn't let the most popular MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) control my life to the point that I couldn't live without it, nor did I let it affect the way I lived out in the real world...I already liked swords and pretending that I could throw fireballs from my hands before I even started playing. lol. My point is that I managed to enjoy a fictitious game of epic proportions without loosing my grip on reality, which is the the number one fear/ problem with playing such games. 

Role-Playing games have been often discouraged by the Protestant, American Church with accusations of being "witchcraft in disguise" or for causing people to be irresponsible or to escape reality. In some cases this is true. People have dove too far into the world that they were playing in and refused to come back or have attempted to make reality like the fantasy that they engage with.  MMO's are not the only activities, however, that people cling to in their desperate need to escape.

There are a lot of people out there who want to escape reality. Why? Life is harsh and American culture says it should be easy and dreamy. Postmodernism teaches us that truth is what we make it and reality can be what we want...it's all relevant. People lose themselves in pop culture, magazines, TV, movies, and so on. Some even use the Church as an escapism. 

We were created with imaginations and it's good that we use them to create and recreate. I think that movies, music, games, and the like show the ingenuity of humanity and display the divine gifts of the Image of God in us. Namely creativity and imagination. I believe that, even if the all the creators of these games and movies are atheists, they are are glorifying God by their action of creating and forming. Any negatives are a result of the sin nature found in ALL of humanity. Therefore, I support the creation and playing of games like WoW, but if one is unable to stay rooted in reality or begin to negate their responsibilities in the real world, then it is best that that person cease playing such games...or watching movie, whatever the activity in question is.

Love the life you have been given and accept this gift knowing that, unlike your game character, you will age and waste away as time passes and it can never be bought back. Don't waste the gift you are given. '

Peace be with you,

Stephen

If You're Going to Look, You Might as Well See

I once heard this quote by G.K. Chesterton that made me shout out "Yes yes yes!" The quote went like this, "The tourist sees what he came to see; the traveler sees all that there is to see." I want to be a traveler and not a tourist. I don't want to just see the fancy, beautiful attractions. I want to see everything! This was how I lived when I lived in the Jordan a couple summers back, and then in Italy the year before.

I wasn't in the Middle East to see the Jordan River or Petra. I was there to truly see; to be apart of the lives of a people group I didn't know and barely understood. When in Rome I was there to see the people, hear the subtle differences in accents from those in Venice
, the difference in clothing and food; I looked for the patterns in the stone road ways just as much as, if not more than, the architectural feat that is the Colosseum.

Upon my returning to the U.S. of blessed A. I found myself struggling to maintain the same mindset that I had in other countries. I was failing to see what I was looking at. People, culture, needs...life was happening right in front in front of me but I didn't "see" it.

This is how many people live their lives. Living as tourists to their lives, here to see what they came to see and not seeing what there is to see. As a result people die without truly being a part of the world around them and without experiencing the fullness of life. By "looking" but not "seeing" we do an injustice to God's creation and to the humanity that we are a part of. We do an disservice to our fellow believers, fellow humans, and even to ourselves.

What are you not seeing? What details are you brushing over? Do you see the painting and not notice the delicacy of each stroke of the brush or the mixture and manipulation of colors that were used to make said painting?

Don't just look....

See.


Peace be with you always,

Stephen.

"Who...are...you?"

If you have ever watched the movie Alice in Wonderland, then you know what I'm talking about when I saw "that is one creepy caterpillar!", but he asks a question of Alice that, I believe, is important for all of us to ask of ourselves. "Who are you?"

This is a question that we naturally begin to ask ourselves (though most in our subconscious) as we enter our teenage years. Lies and deceits imposed upon us by our peers, family, and even ourselves often keep us from discovering the answer to this question. If you live outside of Christ, then you will never be able to fully answer that question. In Christ is where the fullness of one's being lies.

When I was a sophomore in college, I had a shift in thought. I had often asked the question "why am I?' while I was in high school, but now I took this other question and I moved it from the subconscious to the conscious and began the journey to understanding myself. It's not as easy as one might think. Over the years I have managed to make some progress, but I was stunted by something. Something of vast importance.

I lacked the desire to be honest with myself. As much as I wanted to know myself, to do what I am good at, etc. I wanted even more to avoid the risk of pain and disappointment that I might experience upon finding that answer. I wanted all the good, but I was scared to hear the bad, and more often than not I began picturing myself as a hideous being that was void of strength and value. I distorted the good as I refused to hear the bad; letting my imagination and fears control me. This is an unhealthy and ubiblical style of living.

Knowledge is power, and it is important to have knowledge about yourself. There are a few significant facts we must accept as we seek to know and understand ourselves.

1. Outside of Christ we can't even come close to the truth of our being
2. Chances are that you will not have a complete understanding, but that should never keep you from trying
3. Honesty is vital, and you must take the bad along with the good. Otherwise you will be out of balance. To repair and strengthen the weakness requires honesty.
4. It isn't something done  alone. We need others to help point out what we cannot see or to correct our vision. We need community to help repair and improve.
5. It definitely won't happen over night. Anything worth doing is worth the time it takes to do it. Such a task will require much of your time for prayer, meditation, and critical thought and research. 

If you are seeking this understanding, I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to not give up when it gets hard. The challenge and difficulty will only serve to aid you and make it all the more worth it. If you have never moved from the subconscious to the conscious, then let me encourage you to do so. You will find your life improved from you questioning and seeking. 

Peace be with you,

Stephen