Poetic Testimony of Brokenness and Redemption
Drama, Drama, Drama...
It seems like the majority of television these days if filled with shows that are just flooded with drama. Between shows like "Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Degrassi", how are people expected to have healthy and stable emotions? Apart from that it appears that drama levels are on the rise in the lives of every day Americans and have been steadily doing so for decades.
When I say "drama", I am not talking about plays or suspense..I'm talking about situations blowing up over nothing. Things like someone crying because their "boo" got the wrong colored flowers (which is and OBVIOUS sign that they don't care), a word misread in a text message and someone immediately ending a relationship without talking it out, or a sibling being deleted off of Facebook because he/she invited him/her to take a parent to diner without actually being involved in the planning process (totally know someone who had this happen to them). No, i'm talking about the DRAMA that we used to see just in high schools and in middle schools, but now infiltrates as early as preschool to as late as eternity.
My own life is not void of this terrible disease. In fact I have a couple members of my extended family that grow the stuff, smoke it in a pipe, and then blow it in your face. If you just understood my metaphor, then you know how "suffocating" it can be to be around people who breed drama. My purpose in saying all this is not to complain, but to ask a question?
Why all the drama?!
Why the emotional and relational instability?
How should we be dealing with it?
Lets start with the first question.
"Why all the drama?" When I think about all the situations that I have endured that have yielded high concentrations of drama or when I think about those people that I know to be drama-breeders, there are a certain list of characteristics that come to mind. The list is as follows:
"How should we be dealing with it?" I have a dear friend who deals with a lot of drama in her world and it becomes a significant stress producer in her life. What baffles me is that she will sit and watch these TV shows that are nothing but drama! I asked her about this once out of concern; certain that in watching these shows that it must only be adding to her plight. Why would someone who experiences so much drama in there own life want to see it lived out by others in mass overdose? Her response was, "It helps me to get my mind of of my own drama for a while." This statement struck me...I had never considered that it might be helping her deal with her own drama. The question remains...does it help?
Bottling up emotions or ignoring ones emotions are very destructive for one's emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health (a statement derived from both common knowledge and personal experience). But pouring it all out on someone continuously isn't good either. First and foremost we have to realize our strength comes from God, and if we are truly to overcome we need to have the wisdom and strength of His Spirit. While I think that it's ok to pull away from drama from time to time to rest and refocus, it is also important that we learn to process our emotions and to communication open.
START with yourself. Pray and ask yourself if you are somebody that produces drama. If so, why? Whats the root? Once you identify it, take it to God and seek Him. When you take things to God in humility and with a willingness to work, He will help make your faith complete by strengthening you and helping you with your problems.
OTHERS might be the source of drama in your life. If they are family, well you pretty much have to live with it, but you have to learn to continue showing Christian character through love and patience (yes yes I know...easier said than done), and be sure to try to keep communicating. Express your feelings and confront family when they are going over board, just do it in love. If it is just someone you know, then you need to decide if your willing to put up with that before you let your friendship get to far. If you are willing to have a friend that produces drama...then God be with you, but don't you dare go into the relationship expecting them to change...it won't be healthy for wither of you. If you are already in too deep, be loving, patient, and try talking it out with your friend (say it with me) WITH LOVE.
This was a long reflection, but I had a lot of thoughts on it that have been building up over the last few days.
Peace be with you :]
When I say "drama", I am not talking about plays or suspense..I'm talking about situations blowing up over nothing. Things like someone crying because their "boo" got the wrong colored flowers (which is and OBVIOUS sign that they don't care), a word misread in a text message and someone immediately ending a relationship without talking it out, or a sibling being deleted off of Facebook because he/she invited him/her to take a parent to diner without actually being involved in the planning process (totally know someone who had this happen to them). No, i'm talking about the DRAMA that we used to see just in high schools and in middle schools, but now infiltrates as early as preschool to as late as eternity.
My own life is not void of this terrible disease. In fact I have a couple members of my extended family that grow the stuff, smoke it in a pipe, and then blow it in your face. If you just understood my metaphor, then you know how "suffocating" it can be to be around people who breed drama. My purpose in saying all this is not to complain, but to ask a question?
Why all the drama?!
Why the emotional and relational instability?
How should we be dealing with it?
Lets start with the first question.
"Why all the drama?" When I think about all the situations that I have endured that have yielded high concentrations of drama or when I think about those people that I know to be drama-breeders, there are a certain list of characteristics that come to mind. The list is as follows:
- Pride
- Shame
- Insecurity
- Immaturity
- Self-centered
These are the things I see most, and logically I have to come to the conclusion that there is some sort of relationship between these characteristics and the production of drama just by the sheer reality that both coincide together. Can these characteristic be present without the production of drama? Sure. Can drama be produced without these characteristics? Mmmm...maybe, but not according to my experiences nor by any extent of my ability to reason. To answer my first question, I believe that the root of "drama" is SIN.
"NOW HOLD UP!" Now for those of you reading this who might jump on the fact that I listed "shame" and would like to point out that it is not sin...I would have to say that you are right. Shame is not a sin per say. It is, however, a distortion of our mental and emotional health that was not meant to be a part of our lives and is often rooted in pride. So no, it is not a sin listed in the Bible, but it not to be something that is intimately a part of our lives. We will experience shame, but it is arguably "sinful" to live in it.
"Why the emotional and relational instability?" Given the various causes for drama, is it any wonder why it is so burdensome? These particular sins, mixed with the emotions that come with them and with drama, are very hard on a relationship, and often lead to the termination of friendship. In some cases even families are torn apart. As a former youth ministry intern, I found that most of the kids who were drama-filled, experienced a lot of drama in their homes. Teens expressed the great heartache and difficulty when facing family drama. When we live like the world owes us or based around ourselves, then we live outside of the "original design" and we suffer from our sin and form the consequences of sin. When relationships struggle, emotions spike, minds race, and we get caught in a vicious cycle of destruction.
"How should we be dealing with it?" I have a dear friend who deals with a lot of drama in her world and it becomes a significant stress producer in her life. What baffles me is that she will sit and watch these TV shows that are nothing but drama! I asked her about this once out of concern; certain that in watching these shows that it must only be adding to her plight. Why would someone who experiences so much drama in there own life want to see it lived out by others in mass overdose? Her response was, "It helps me to get my mind of of my own drama for a while." This statement struck me...I had never considered that it might be helping her deal with her own drama. The question remains...does it help?
Bottling up emotions or ignoring ones emotions are very destructive for one's emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health (a statement derived from both common knowledge and personal experience). But pouring it all out on someone continuously isn't good either. First and foremost we have to realize our strength comes from God, and if we are truly to overcome we need to have the wisdom and strength of His Spirit. While I think that it's ok to pull away from drama from time to time to rest and refocus, it is also important that we learn to process our emotions and to communication open.
START with yourself. Pray and ask yourself if you are somebody that produces drama. If so, why? Whats the root? Once you identify it, take it to God and seek Him. When you take things to God in humility and with a willingness to work, He will help make your faith complete by strengthening you and helping you with your problems.
OTHERS might be the source of drama in your life. If they are family, well you pretty much have to live with it, but you have to learn to continue showing Christian character through love and patience (yes yes I know...easier said than done), and be sure to try to keep communicating. Express your feelings and confront family when they are going over board, just do it in love. If it is just someone you know, then you need to decide if your willing to put up with that before you let your friendship get to far. If you are willing to have a friend that produces drama...then God be with you, but don't you dare go into the relationship expecting them to change...it won't be healthy for wither of you. If you are already in too deep, be loving, patient, and try talking it out with your friend (say it with me) WITH LOVE.
This was a long reflection, but I had a lot of thoughts on it that have been building up over the last few days.
Peace be with you :]
Will You Yield?
Today I was deep in prayer in meditation when I began singing random songs. One song I began to sing in particular was "Where You Go I Go" by Brian and Jenn Johnson. The song is simple, and mildly repetitive, but a good song nonetheless. As I was singing I began to meditate upon the words and ask myself, "what is it that I'm singing?" and "why are these words significant?" From the title alone I'm sure you can guess what the song is about, but the part of the song I want to focus on is the part that says "How can I expect to live without You, when every move that Jesus made was in surrender?"
Now, this may seem like a very insignificant question to you, but if you thought about...I mean REALLY thought about it, do you have this kind of mindset as you walk through your day to day life? "Am I living in surrender?" If Jesus Christ, the pure and holy one lived out His life in complete submission and obedience (which He did, check out the book of Philippians) then how is is that we, mere mortals of flesh and bone that are full of sin and evil habits, think that it is possible to get by without relying on God or living in surrender to Him? I'm a believer in providence, but I'm also a believer in free will as a element of the Image of God within humanity. I must conclude therefore that I'm responsible for something within this divine romance that we have with God.
I have the responsibility of spending time with God, meditating on His attributes, worshiping Him and being in a relationship with Him. A relationship that requires me to be vulnerable, open, trusting, and honest. The hardest things to do, even unto someone as perfect as God. We can not live without Him, for without Him we have no truth, no purpose, no reason for working or doing. It is all in vain. May we remember to yeild ourselves to our Most Holy One, our God and King, that we might find our purpose in Him and have a true reason for living that the World does not have and will never ever have outside of Christ.
"God forgive me of my fallacies once again and carry me unto Thy grace, before Your throne, that I might be with my God and be made whole. In Nomine Patris, et Filis, et Spiritus Sancti"
Now, this may seem like a very insignificant question to you, but if you thought about...I mean REALLY thought about it, do you have this kind of mindset as you walk through your day to day life? "Am I living in surrender?" If Jesus Christ, the pure and holy one lived out His life in complete submission and obedience (which He did, check out the book of Philippians) then how is is that we, mere mortals of flesh and bone that are full of sin and evil habits, think that it is possible to get by without relying on God or living in surrender to Him? I'm a believer in providence, but I'm also a believer in free will as a element of the Image of God within humanity. I must conclude therefore that I'm responsible for something within this divine romance that we have with God.
I have the responsibility of spending time with God, meditating on His attributes, worshiping Him and being in a relationship with Him. A relationship that requires me to be vulnerable, open, trusting, and honest. The hardest things to do, even unto someone as perfect as God. We can not live without Him, for without Him we have no truth, no purpose, no reason for working or doing. It is all in vain. May we remember to yeild ourselves to our Most Holy One, our God and King, that we might find our purpose in Him and have a true reason for living that the World does not have and will never ever have outside of Christ.
"God forgive me of my fallacies once again and carry me unto Thy grace, before Your throne, that I might be with my God and be made whole. In Nomine Patris, et Filis, et Spiritus Sancti"
By Spirit or By Flesh
The other day I was drinking coffee with my best friend at our favorite local coffee shop. I was reading Paul's letter to the Philippians while he was studying the biblical text (whether in Hebrew or Greek, I remember not). Now, I had read this letter many times of the course of my life, as have most people who were raised in a "Christian" home (I do not put the word "Christian" in quotations to say that may family does not meet that criteria. I do so to ease my conviction of misusing a noun as an adjective). As I was reading, however, I found myself struck by one of the passages and began meditating on Paul's words. Here are the verse that the Holy Spirit struck my heart with.
When I read these words of Paul, I suddenly had recollections of a man in a small town just an hour North of my city. I had been driving through and had stopped at the local grocery store for a drink and was headed on my way. As I was leaving the building I noticed him standing on the far side of the parking lot with a book in his hand and he was yelling out into the parking lot. He had no one in particular that he was speaking too directly, and the book in his hand was obviously a Bible. He yelled out one of the most passionate "hell-fire and brimstone sermons" that I have heard to date and he would not stop. My initial attitude toward him was not one of awe, compassion, or respect. In fact I found myself rather angry at him for his choice of methods for preaching the gospel. In my mind it was a misrepresentation of Christ, even though nothing he said was actually false, but it weighed more on the element of fear and emotion to entice people to seek a "fire-escape" Savior. It was not a sermon preached with love and compassion...but with a fierce anger.
God, however, stepped in and has offered me a firm, yet gentle, rebuke through the writing of one of His greatest servants. Paul's words rang in my mind over and over like the sound of church bells echoing through a city. Paul makes it clear that he doesn't care whether they are preaching in love or with selfishness, as long as Christ is being proclaimed to the lost! Ultimately, we know that those who preached out of selfishness will have to answer for their actions, but what matters above all else is that Christ is glorified among the the sinners of the World!
So how many other people have I looked upon with pride and arrogance because they did not have the complexity of doctrine and training that I've had? How many times have I grieved the Holy Spirit because of my foolishness, instead of looking at my fellow believers with love and compassion? I have not changed in my disapproval of that man choice of methodology, but instead I take heart and am now praising God that he is being used to spread the Gospel regardless of how he is doing it. As long as the truth being taught, and the Gospel not perverted, then what wrong method is there?
Astounding! A lot of times in the church we find ourselves arguing and debating over frivolous things, such as sprinkling vs. fully emerging baptisms, KJV vs. modern translations, cultural equivalency vs. ignoring culture, etc. etc. etc. As for me, I often find myself being overly critical of actions being taken within the Church. "Is that biblical?", "Are your intentions pure?", "Is this being led by a manipulator?", "What are the consequences of what you just said in your sermon?" These are all good questions in and of themselves, but my heart is rarely in the right place, and I ultimately miss the most important questions of all..."Is God being glorified in the lives of men?" and "Is it advancing the Kingdom?" These two question are far more important than anything else.Philippians 1:12 I want you to know, brothers,[e] that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, 13 so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard[f] and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. 14 And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word[g] without fear.15 Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. 16 The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. 18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.
God, however, stepped in and has offered me a firm, yet gentle, rebuke through the writing of one of His greatest servants. Paul's words rang in my mind over and over like the sound of church bells echoing through a city. Paul makes it clear that he doesn't care whether they are preaching in love or with selfishness, as long as Christ is being proclaimed to the lost! Ultimately, we know that those who preached out of selfishness will have to answer for their actions, but what matters above all else is that Christ is glorified among the the sinners of the World!
So how many other people have I looked upon with pride and arrogance because they did not have the complexity of doctrine and training that I've had? How many times have I grieved the Holy Spirit because of my foolishness, instead of looking at my fellow believers with love and compassion? I have not changed in my disapproval of that man choice of methodology, but instead I take heart and am now praising God that he is being used to spread the Gospel regardless of how he is doing it. As long as the truth being taught, and the Gospel not perverted, then what wrong method is there?
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