Help.
God knows I need it!
I began reading through a book by the incredible author Anne Lamott titled, "Help Thanks Wow: Three Essential Prayers" and OH MY WOW!
I didn't realize how badly I needed help, but even more importantly I didn't realize how afraid I was to ask for it.
I knew that I wasn't good at asking humans for help. Naturally I would struggle to ask the sentient beings of my own nature for help, but I'm also really bad at asking God for help. I keep a pretty long check list of prerequisites for a prayer to be acceptable, and not all of them are realistic. In fact it's legalistic. Always afraid of praying an "unholy prayer" I move into a place where I am not genuine about how I feel, what I believe, or what I really want.
That's not good for a relationship with fleshies....so why would I think it acceptable with God?
So here I say "HELP!' I can't do this on my own. I'm never alone but I too often give in to that lie that I am.
I love God, but I don't love God nearly as I should. In truth I often don't trust Him or believe that He cares. I may not doubt His existence, but His character? On the daily.
So thank you Ms. Lamott for your honesty and for reminding me of the importance of being honest in prayer. Thanks for the reminder to ask for help and to ask for one's own desires. May the King of Suns fill your life with light and air and give you peace.
And here is my prayer: Father of Light be my light. Make me Peace and forgive me of my anxiety and selfishness. Forgive me Merciful One for not being honest with You. Help me because I don't trust You. Help me because my life seems threatening and overwhelming. Help me because I often hate myself and feel like I can't change. Help me because I'm afraid of the change that I feel that I can't make. Please be kind to me in failures and discipline me to greater character and greater love. Help me to fail beautifully and to learn from my missteps.
Truly Yours,
Stephen D Green II
God knows I need it!
I began reading through a book by the incredible author Anne Lamott titled, "Help Thanks Wow: Three Essential Prayers" and OH MY WOW!
I didn't realize how badly I needed help, but even more importantly I didn't realize how afraid I was to ask for it.
I knew that I wasn't good at asking humans for help. Naturally I would struggle to ask the sentient beings of my own nature for help, but I'm also really bad at asking God for help. I keep a pretty long check list of prerequisites for a prayer to be acceptable, and not all of them are realistic. In fact it's legalistic. Always afraid of praying an "unholy prayer" I move into a place where I am not genuine about how I feel, what I believe, or what I really want.
That's not good for a relationship with fleshies....so why would I think it acceptable with God?
So here I say "HELP!' I can't do this on my own. I'm never alone but I too often give in to that lie that I am.
I love God, but I don't love God nearly as I should. In truth I often don't trust Him or believe that He cares. I may not doubt His existence, but His character? On the daily.
So thank you Ms. Lamott for your honesty and for reminding me of the importance of being honest in prayer. Thanks for the reminder to ask for help and to ask for one's own desires. May the King of Suns fill your life with light and air and give you peace.
And here is my prayer: Father of Light be my light. Make me Peace and forgive me of my anxiety and selfishness. Forgive me Merciful One for not being honest with You. Help me because I don't trust You. Help me because my life seems threatening and overwhelming. Help me because I often hate myself and feel like I can't change. Help me because I'm afraid of the change that I feel that I can't make. Please be kind to me in failures and discipline me to greater character and greater love. Help me to fail beautifully and to learn from my missteps.
Truly Yours,
Stephen D Green II
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