Out Of Tune

Life is hectic! It seems like I'm always on the go and trying to accomplish some task or another. Half the time I haven't got a clue if I'm doing things right and I'm having to submit myself to a great deal of trial and error.

My spiritual life is no different. I am continually striving for greater spiritual growth and maturity, and I often do not feel that I'm living a life that pleases God. I am essentially stating that I am sub-par, valueless, displeasing to, and unloved by God. Yet I hold this double standard that God loves the very person I believe to be the worst and lowest of humanity. Messed up, no?

This is a significant lie that is interwoven into my thought processes. That is indeed what it is: a LIE. 

Sunday I was driving the school van and taking a handful of our kids to a local church. On the way there, my friend/co-worker reached over and turned on the radio to a local Christian station. As the music filled the car, I noticed something else along side the voice of the artist. It was the sound of one of my students sitting behind me; singing out confidently along with the radio. His voice cracked, he sang out of tune, and he didn't know half of the words but that didn't stop him from trying to sing every single line. With every error and with every inaccurate note I found myself smiling more and more as joy filled my heart. 

Then the Spirit struck my heart. 

I could hear the Spirit saying, "This is the joy I feel every day with you. I don't care that you sing it wrong, just keep singing." 

We have a goal that we strive for, but the truth is that we are human and we fail. In the words of Denzel Washington in the movie The Equalizer, "Progress...not perfection." 

Everyday we live out our lives in a struggle to overcome our brokenness and pain, every stumbling along the path to healing. Christ walks with us and listens as we, mere babes in the faith, seek to mutter the language of life and redemption; as we move from a crawl to a run. He does not look down on us with contempt at our stumbling over words or our tripping over our own feet. No, He looks upon us with great joy at every failed attempt because every failure means a lesson learned and an attempt made toward holiness. 

So keep singing out of tune. Sing out at the top of your lungs every misplaced note and mutter every forgotten word! Sing until you can hear the pitch changes and until the rhythm of holiness and grace have been integrated into your very soul. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Is It Forgiveness?

Despite the popular belief among many Christians today, forgiveness is not a simple action for anyone. While most will admit that it isn't easy, forgiveness is simplified to the action of declaring the offender is "forgiven."

This is not forgiveness. It is only a fraction of it. Sadly, It is also something that I believed for the majority of my life.

I've heard it said many times that "forgiveness is not for the forgiven, but for the forgiver." This used to strike me as deeply profound and I found freedom in this statement.

It is, however, only a half-truth.

Looking at Christ as our example of real forgiveness, forgiveness isn't so one-sided. Applying the above statement to our relationship to God, I find it difficult to say that forgiveness is for God and not for us.

 I’m not going to kid you: forgiveness is hard. Releasing someone from the responsibility for an offense against you is counter-intuitive. Why would I want to let someone off the hook? The anser is: you don't. I don't either! Offenses happen becasue of sin, and unforgiveness and the resual to reconcile is of sin as well!

Forgiveness in its entirety contains the willingness to attempt restitution as well as to reconcile with the other party. For us, to "forgive as [Christ] forgives us", we must seek to rebuild the relationship if possible. Christ doesn't just say "Ok, I forgive you. Go on with your life, we don't need to talk anymore." He says, "Come to me and let us be known to each other."

I know, I know...we can't always do the reconciling work of build a relationship. Distance and death often prevent that, and that's ok. In those instances we do what can be done: make an emotional and mental declaration that you aren't going to hold on to the "debt" that is owed you by that person. Perhaps an honest prayer of telling God, "Hey, I don't hold that against them anymore. Can you help me heal and to go on even though I can't reconcile with them?" is in order.

But that leaves me with the question: Is it truly forgiveness if there is no admittance of being wrong or repentance?

The New Testament sure doesn't seem to say so. In fact, our being forgiven by God is dependent upon our responding to His calling us out on sin and repenting of that sin. He come in humility and ask for forgiveness and THEN Christ forgives. It is the first step to reconciling us to our God. Anything other than that is simply not holding a grudge or letting things get to you.

I fail at this. I fail at confronting an offender and telling him/her "Hey! You hurt me! You did *insert offense* and that's not cool!" I hate confrontation and I hate letting people off the hook from what they have done.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen