Imagine...

A young man looks up and sees a great lake before him, a great relief from the rocky mountains that his feet have had to endure for so long. He rushes into the water and takes in the coolness and the refreshing feel of liquid washing away the sweat and grime that he has had to live with for weeks on end. What joy! What relief! He is back to the land of his origin, to the familiar and the comfortable...or then again, not...so...comfortable. 

Words began to form in the back of his mind...as if echoing from a great distance saying, 

"My dear traveler, how long has your soul been at ease though wounds and pain you have endured? You have seen great joy and great sorrow; the journey has taken its toll. Traveler, you have returned from your journeys and you have brought your scars...but have you forgotten why you have those scars? War. 

"Do you not remember why you began your journey?A song. A song called to you from the depth, oh traveler. Do you not remember? It filled your heart with dread, yet you could not escape desire for it. It seemed like the very notes of your heart were being played for the first time and Life came and she led you away...to pain and purging she led you away. 

"Now you have returned to your place of 'comfort', just as blind as you were before. That song led you away and transformed you; brought forth the Light within your soul. You were pulled away so that you could find strength; you were drawn from chaos so that you might have order...that through war you might find strength and the peace that would complete you. Your journey wasn't over. Be careful, lest you be enslaved again." 

Suddenly...his eyes are open...

Out of the water the young traveler rushes with all ferocity and speed! It is too late. Darkness rolls over the mountains like smoke pouring over a balcony and his way out is blocked. Fear grips the young man's mind and instantly he runs for his sack. There is little time and he knows it. With all haste he pulls out rags and bandages his open wounds, wraps his wrists and ankles, and grabs his staff. He stands and prays that he can defend himself against what he knows is about to come. 

The lake that was a source of delight and relief just moments ago, was now churning with fury and hatred, beckoning the still weak and weary traveler to come and drown. It seemed like the joy and the life within him was being siphoned out of him, as if the very air he breathed was being taken from his nostrils. Despair stabs his heart as a great sea serpent bubbles out of the deep, letting out a roar that would turn the hearts of even the most hardened of men. 

Now, I am no writer (at least not in terms of fiction), but I do have an active imagination. One that I should probably exercise a little more often to be honest. How about you? How long have you gone without using your imagination? Can you see this taking place. If you are a guy then you might even be seeing yourself in this story. If you are a girl then you are daydreaming about someone you like or making up your dream guy, or perhaps you are THAT kinda person and decided to exchange all the "he's" for "she's" and the "his'" for "her's", and all of those are perfectly fine.

So you are probably trying to figure out why the heck I took the time to write all this. Don't worry, I have several perfectly good reasons.

1) In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth...and He said "Let Us make man in Our Image." and the rest is history. Granted, I took two totally separate scriptures and put them side by side...ok yes, yellow flag in most cases. I do not believe, however, that in my doing so I am changing the context or meaning that we can derive from scripture. God is creative. This is evidenced by the World that surrounds us on a daily basis!

Such beauty and wonder. Each of our lives, whether good or...not so good, are pieces of art that display the image of God and the beauty of our Creator. God is creative, and as a part of being made in the image of God...so are we.

It is God glorifying that we should use our imaginations that He has given to us to create, to describe, or even to prescribe reality.

2)I wanted to write out a metaphor that reflected my perspective of my current place in life spiritually, emotionally, psychologically (which I call the Great Trifectoid see previous post). I wanted to do this for the sake of processing my own thoughts and feelings, but to also help give others a chance to see things a new perspective. That maybe others feel the same way as I do at this moment, or perhaps to help others who don't feel the same way to have an avenue in which they might be able to grasp such a feeling.

3) By golly I wanted to to improve my skills in creative writing.

So now that you have had a chance to read a little bit into my soul, lets continue on. The rest will be created by drawing from the hope and the desires I have within me for my present and my future...leading to the ending that I want most, what I aim for most, and truly believe will be the outcome in reality.

The terrible, scaly creature stared menacingly into the eyes of the quivering soul that stood on the edge of the bubbling cauldron. Stone cold, the young traveler (who felt very much like a little child again) stood frozen in terror and in anger with himself. Why had he ended up here? How could he have come so far just to fall at the gnashing teeth of the beast that once enslaved him so long ago? 

And there is was...faint at first, but it was definitely there. The Voice...the Voice that sang from the echoing depths of eternity and straight into the young man's soul began to speak again. It said, "Test the waters. Your end is not here." and with that strength rushed into him as if from some unknown  source and courage overtook him. He stood tall and held his staff in hand. Eyes locked with the beast, he bid the monster to come and die.

Never had there been such a fire as that which lit up within him as he ran across the rocks and the waves. He wasn't sure how he was running across the churning waters (and it is uncertain whether he even realized it till after the battle was over), but in the moment it was irrelevant. All that mattered was victory. He had no choice; there was no running, no turning back now. It was win...or die. 

The serpent dived and surfaced in many attempts to strike the traveler down, but to no avail! He was too fast for the serpent and he glided across the water if he were one with it. He struck at the great sea monster every chance he could and it screamed with pain as energy and flames burst from his staff, but none of the attacks were enough to slay the creature. 

The battle raged for over an hour, but to the traveler it seemed like an eternity. Despite his new found strength and vigor, it did not appear that it was going to be enough to fight. How could he win with just a mere staff. Suddenly a sword appeared in his hand and the Voice spoke saying, "You will never fight alone, my dear traveler. I started you on this journey and I will see you through to the end." Words began to fill his mouth and a language he did not know came forth. As he stood hovering over the water staring at the monster, now turning and rushing toward him, the young man who had become more than a mere traveler readied himself and screamed the words that poured from his soul! 

Wind and water swirled around him and launched him towards the throat of his assailant and sliced through the neck of the great monster...then landed on the other side of the sea of water. The battle was finally won. 

"What happened then?" you might ask. The traveler picked up his things and kept going. The journey was not over and in his heart he knew there were many more such demons that lay in the path before him; many of which were not his own to fight. The sword now gone, he continued on with nothing more than his staff and his clothes to behold the wondrous adventures that lie ahead. 

The Great Trifectoid

This summer has been one of great challenges, significant growth, intimate rebuke, & total exposure/purging for my life. Now, for those who are extremely close to me, everything I just said makes a lot of sense. To everyone else...well I'm sure I've caught your attention and gotten your mind to thinking. The purpose of this post is neither to vent nor "spill my guts", but instead to simply reflect (haha) and perhaps lead others to an awareness of what is happening in their own lives.

I named this post "The Great Trifectoid" for a specific reason. Over the last three months I have been noticed the specific areas of my life that were in desperate need of attention and repair. They are follows:

• Psychological
• Emotional
• Spiritual

These three ares are deeply and intimately connected to one another. If one suffers, generally they all suffer. Other areas of life are affected by the unhealthiness of the Great Three. One's vocational life, social life, physical stature, etc. are all subject to influence of the Great Three. This is something that I'm seeing play out in my life as I face a great deal of stress and discomfort as I move into a new stage of my life as a post-college adult. 

I has a tremendous desire to be a person who shows great love and compassion to those in need and to step into the lives of others, as God would direct me, to be able to bring life and understanding to others. To be a tool of growth and healing for others, and example of someone who lives "in the World but not of it." I have great desires and dreams of things to do in this world and to be a creator of community and safety for Christians and those seeking Christ in my city and throughout the world. 

It has been found to be in God's good and holy will, however, that I enter a time of purging and healing before getting to do what I desire. These three areas are essential to being able to do what I want, and I have neglected them for far too long, and even ignored or denied my problems altogether. To ignore the past, to neglect oneself, to not have safe and biblical boundaries for one's life can lead to sickness within the pyscho-emo-spiritual self. I'm am extremely grateful that God has granted me awareness and the ability to look introspectively to see Him working and recognize things in my life decades sooner than most will ever do. I'm willing to wait to do all the things I desire to do for the sake of doing them right. 

I once told a friend of mine that I always rise to the occasion when I'm needed and he looked at me and said "Yes, and right now...you need you." So I'm finding it extremely urgent in my life to focus on my own healing, for as another friend said "How can you step in to heal others if you can't even take the time to heal yourself first" and so in neglecting myself I am only making myself inadequate to do the work needed to help others. To focus on one's own healing and needs is not being selfish, it is necessary. Too many pastors and leaders of the Church fall into burnout and deep suffering because they forsook themselves in the name "selflessness" and that just is not biblical at all. So for now my number one focus is on ME. ME and God. Because it means that later I will be effective and efficient in helping OTHERS...to go in peace to love and serve the Lord.

Peace be upon you all. 

"It doesn't matter now, it's all in the past"

Today I was sitting in my favorite little coffee shop/Anglican church (yeah, just mull over that one for a little bit) and I thought of a song that I had heard countless times on the radio. Quite honestly I don't know the name of the song...in fact I don't even know the name of the artist! I do, however, remember a key part of the chorus that got me thinking.

"It don't matter where you been, only where you're going. It don't matter what you've done, only what you're doing." 

(Exact wording may be off, especially since Google searches have yielded no help in discovering the name of the song or artist)

Ok, so it doesn't matter where you've been or what you've done? Go and tell the owner of a local business that as you turn in an application. I wouldn't be surprised if you got laughed out of the store and had your application thrown away, especially considering 50% or more of your application is based off of past experiences, work history, and criminal record. Your past means a lot in the business world, and whether you like it or not, it means a lot in the church world as well.

I gave this phrase some thought and tried to be fair in my assessment of it. It is important to note that this over generalized statement may not be said the way the artist intended, but then again it might. Let's just take the statement for as it is structured, and ultimately it says "Your past doesn't matter, it's all about the present and the future." This statement/ideology is growing in it's use among church-goers  as a way of easing the minds of those plagued by guilt and feelings of condemnation. It is often attached to the verse "There is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1), but is that how we are supposed to view the past? Also, why is it that this statement is only used in reference to having a shady past or a less than desirable background? While I'm not trying to negate scripture, I am trying to say that we are possibly adding to what is actually there. No, there is no condemnation for those who are of the redeemed, but that does not mean that the past doesn't matter or is to be forgotten. It means we have hope for the present and the future and we have a God who guides us and uses our past to make us new.

The problem with this ideology is that it numbs us to reality, to long term consequences, and personal responsibility. It also feeds the foolish, self-centered, and arrogant belief that one deserves a second chance, that world owes them for all their suffering, or that no one should think badly of them. Lost in the depths of a postmodern society, people begin to ignore truth, fact, and honest acceptance of what is their lives...unless it's good of course.

 The fact is that "where I've been" was once "where I was going" and "what I'm doing" will one day be "where I've been" and "what I've done". This ideology implodes on itself and in the end states that everything that matters is in the future, but we all know that the future will soon be in the past. It is inevitable that all future will be in the past. So life is pointless altogether!

But this life does have value! We still have life, which is a gift of God! We have a purpose in life, we were designed for life on Earth, and therefore we must learn to make the most of life as we have it, and part of our lives, a significant part, is our past. When we forget who we were, our testimonies mean nothing and we lose sight of grace and beauty...and our worship of God suffers. When we ignore the past, we amputate a part of ourselves and go throughout the rest of our lives with a proverbial limp, unable to function at the fullest of our capacity because we failed to deal with the emotions and situations that have so deeply shaped who have become.

My life is no exception to this. After many years I've learned a great deal about the damage that can come about through ignoring one's past and not facing it head on. For years I tried to ignore it and run from it, and all I got in return was a build up of bitterness and anger, as well as an increasing numbness to those around me, even the ones I love. Life is too short for us to live our lives enslaved by the past, and we only overthrow the past by facing it head on, and by being willing to accept the pain and suffering that come with doing so.