"My Dearest Littles..."

The following is a letter to all the students that I had the privilege of knowing during my time at Shelterwood. I hope this makes its way out to each of you. 

My Dearest Littles,

This letter is not addressed to any specific student or group of students. No doubt there were those that I was closer to than others and those I connected well with.

It was a wild ride. If you are reading this letter and went to SW you probably contributed in some way or another. Whether that was running away, breaking things, cussing me (or my Bigs) out, making nasty drawings about SW staff (I kept all those btw! I still get a good laugh out them), or cutting, etc. I don't regret those times, and every dark moment I look back upon with joy. Not because they happened, but because I was graced with being able to walk with you guys through those times.

I imagine it was hard for each of you to be at SW. I tried to express that understanding. I'm sure it didn't always feel like it, but I did my best to love each and every one of you. Reality is that love often feels challenging and harsh, especially in that kind of environment.

For those of you who saw me suffering along side you and loved me in return, I give a special thank you, and to let you know that I haven't forgotten.  I still have the shoes I was given by those who saw I had holes in all of mine. I still have the DVD's, the journals, the little TARDIS, and every
note and thank you letter that I've ever gotten. Thank you for having an impact on my life, and I hope I was able to sufficiently return the affection.

Most of you have gone off to live your lives and are facing new challenges. Most of y'all are doing really well! Some of you are struggling. And that's ok. If you are feeling embarrassed or down on yourself, know that you are still loved. Loved by me, loved by the Gigs you were close to, and loved by God.

You're human and struggle is natural. Don't let that struggle rule over you and fool you into thinking that you can't overcome your problems. You can.

Most of you would have, at one point or another, heard me quote the Count of Monte Cristo. "Life is storm..." I would say. By now you should have a thorough understanding of reality, as well as the knowledge that it doesn't really go away. The storm rages on, and it if it ceases another one arises.

Take a close look at yourself and I guarantee that you will find that you have grown with each passing wave of terror and suffering. Even SW.

Today I miss each and every one of you. I want to apologize for any area that I lacked; for any time I came up short on expressing the love I have for you or where I failed to hear what you had to say. I do not apologize for making you angry or for consequencing you, or sharing a hard truth. Every time I did I did so in love. I swallowed my fear and my selfish desire to not enter confrontation just so that I could make sure that you might grown and find life.

There is not a single one of you that I have forgotten and not a single one of you that I do not continue to pray for.

And this is my prayer for you:

That you might live. Truly live. That God will bless each of you with happiness and peace. That all of you needs will be met in abundance and that you might always know hope and purpose. Above all I pray that God makes His presence severely known to you and that each and every day you might walk in the grace of our God who knows and loves you just as you are.

I pray that you would not cave into despair and that old habits and patterns that seek to enslave you will one day bow to you and not have control over the quality of your life.

I pray that you would always have a support group, friends that stand closer than family, and that your own families would be a place of refuge for you.

Hang in there kiddo, the night doesn't last forever.

In closing, I want to repeat a few things that I often shared and truly believed.

1) Love God above all and make sure that you loves others the same as you love yourself. (That might mean you need to start loving yourself more)

2) Give more than you take, but never give with the intent of taking.

3) You are truly valuable and worthy of being loved, and therefore being heard.

4) Remember that life is short and there is but little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be quick to love and make haste to be kind. And may the love and knowledge of Christ keep you in ever lasting light.

Grace and Peace,
Stephen

Welcome Aliens!

"Aliens! Come forth and be welcome among us!"

Now, I know what you're thinking...

"Good Lord...Stephen has lost it...he's over there asking for space invaders to come down from the stars. What a loon!'

I'm not talking about space aliens. I'm talking about the other kind of aliens. The human kind!

Lately, the United States has been in a bit of a tizzy about immigration. It's been quite a debacle and has only eased due to some distraction concerning statues. 

Sadly, many Christians have begun to pray against other nations and its peoples out of these same fears. We were called to love them, not abandon them. 

"The government needs to think of its citizens first! We have to take care of ourselves!"

The government does need to take care of its citizens. No doubt. We can not let, however, the care of American citizens lead to the negligence of the rest of humanity. God called us to the love and care of foreigners and immigrants.

"God wants us to prioritize our nation and her safety. Not immigrants!"

That's actually not true.

At her conception, the nation of Israel was commanded multiple times to accept the foreigner and treat them as if they were actually citizens. Don't believe me? 

Lev. 19: 33-34: "When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God." 

Lev. 23:22:" When you reap the harvest of your land, moreover, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field nor gather the gleaning of your harvest; you are to leave them for the needy and the alien. I am the Lord your God.”  

Deut. 10:16-20: "So circumcise your heart, and stiffen your neck no longer.  For the Lord your God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God who does not show partiality nor take a bribe.  He executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and shows His love for the alien by giving him food and clothing.  So show your love for the alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt. You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him, and you shall swear by His name."

Later, Deuteronomy 24 repeats the same commandment from Leviticus 23 concerning harvesting. Then, in chapter 26, we see that living out these commandments gives glory to God and will be a form of testimony to the greatness of our God!

If this was expected of the land of Israel, how much even more so is it expected of us who are in Christ!

In Matthew 25, Christ gives a very clear image of this expectation when He states "for I was naked and you clothed Me. I was a stranger and you took me in."

Paul in his letter to Timothy, the book of Hebrews, and the Third letter of John all praise the actions of those who seek out strangers and the poor with the desire to serve and to shelter them. In fact, the New Testament that we ourselves are "foreigners living in a strange land."

As members of the Church, we are citizens of a nation that transcends the geopolitical borders of our secular governments, and we bear the responsibility and privilege of reaching out the nations in love and charity for the sake of the glory of God. It is the very Gospel by which we have been rescued out of darkness that compels us to "Go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them..."

We most certainly should not be naive or flippant in our approach to this issue, but we can't abandon those in need just because they are of the same nationality as pagans and terrorists. 

Let us stand together as the church, one nation under God, and show forth His love rather than let the enemy instill fear and hatred in our hearts to prevent the spreading of God's kingdom. 

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

Resist the Dark

Some mornings I wake up feeling like I am drowning in unseen shadow. It's heavy and sticky like Savannah humidity, but it rests on the soul rather than the skin.

It's mornings like these when I ask God, "where are You? What is the purpose of all this?"

God never leaves me. He has proven that over and over. Logic stands that He never will either. Yet my gut says I'm alone and my thoughts follow suit. If I'm not careful, I'll wander in the fog for days.

Being a person who has wrestled with mental health for over half my life and has worked in the mental health field for three years, I have a great deal of experience. Which means that I, more than most, am aware of how little I know about how my brain works and how to heal my heart.

What I do know is that by remaining silent about my struggle and by not calling it for what it is, I am only hurting myself.

I often led my students to name their struggles. I wanted them to identify what they were feeling and thinking; to do everything they could to discern and anchor their emotions. To not hide their "ish."

I did this knowing how difficult it is to be honest with oneself, let alone another human. I'm right there with them. But I also know how much it needs to happen to experience change and growth. So I pushed them just as I push myself.

I'm never going to have all the answers, but I know that if we fight we will win.

You may be stuck right now. You might resonate with my words. Don't give up, love. Don't let darkness win. You're too valuable to be it's trophy.

Grace and Peace,

Stephen 

Sand and Soul

Going With The Flow

Imagine a pile of sand.

Slowly pour water onto the sand. What happens?

The water builds up, but then starts to flow away. As it flows, the water finds the path easier and easier to follow and will continue along the path that it has created. Eventually, the water will carry away the sand and solidify the forged path. Future water will walk the same trail as the pioneer water before them.

Your thought patterns work in a very similar fashion.

As a child, you were exposed to ideas, beliefs, and experiences. As your brain sought to process these things, thought began to flow in various directions. Like the water.

Regardless of accuracy, the thought pattern developed; eventually carving the path for the filter by which you would understand the world.

Crazy right?!

Here is a real life example.

"I Hate Myself"

No, seriously. I do.

Some time ago, I developed this thought pattern. Experiences and how I interpreted what I was being told led to the conclusion that I am a bad person-a broken person.

Then my thoughts took other paths, leading to the conclusion that I was unintelligent, ugly, boring, and unlovable.

"Everyone hates me" became a regular conclusion in my life.

"Everyone will eventually betray me" was another.

As an adult, I've had incredible friendships that have stepped into fight back against these false beliefs. The problem is that I have believed them so long and dwelt on them so much that I have some pretty deep thought trenches in my head.

I must now face the challenge of forging new paths for the water to flow, while also dealing with the fact that the water is still trying to deepen the paths already set.

Fighting Back

Metaphors can only take us so far to help us understand the truths of life. The development of thought patterns is far more complex than water on the sand. It is deeply influenced by our temperament, our nutrition, our community, and a hundred other things.

We are affected my the emotional stability of our families.

We are influenced by the DNA that was imparted to us.

It can be beneficial to know the sources, but it isn't necessary in most cases. What is important is you...

a) Identify the pattern or belief as false
b) Choose to fight against it at all costs
c) Surround yourself with healthy(er) community

To Be Continued...

Now that you know a little more about the sources and creation of false belief I hope that you can begin the journey to self care. Next time I'll share more about the challenges of thought recovery and my experience thereof.

Until then...

Grace and Peace,

Stephen

A Generation Apart

Checklist

Ok let see here...

1. Blog with abstract title - Check
2. Independent coffee shop - Check
3. Thrift store hat - Check
4. Minimal amount is savings - Check
5. Shirt supporting third world development - Check
6. Classic wooden pipe - Check
7. Flip flops - Check
8. Stockpile of angst - Check

Yep....it's official. I'm a Millennial. 

I thought I might avoid stereotypes and forge my own identify, only to find that I became the same as the rest of my generation. Whoops! 

Trees and Their Apples

Each generation has its identifiers. Their little quirky attributes and stereotypes that follow them to the grave. Most of the time, these identifiers are clothing or dance styles. Or whatever addiction is most popular at the time.

I think my generation is addicted to being angsty and starting arguments.

Granted, every generation has rebelled against something. Mine just has unlimited resources for pushing out opinions and ideas that other generations didn't have. Like Facebook and Twitter. 

Sadly, the newest generation is suffering our decisions just as much, if not more, than we suffered the decisions of those who have come before us. 

Social media has changed the way we interact with each other and has fed our anxieties and fears. Narcissism is at an all time high. Porn is rampant. And we wonder why there are more STDs than ever,  why rape is increasing, or why youth don't seem to have any self-respect. Or respect in general. 

We can sit here and talk about how the GenX and GenY groups have destroyed our nation and the economy, but what about what we are doing to our world.

Let's Get to Work

It's time to stop complaining and start renovating. We want our elders to accept responsibility for their choices, but if we wait for that then we may never see the changes we crave. And if we don't own our faults, the GenZ is really going to suffer!