Grace and Minnesota Plains

"God Expects of us only what He Himself has supplied"                                   -Tozer

Recently I had the wonderful pleasure of being in the wedding of two dear friends of mine in Minnesota. Since I live in Tennessee, I get inquires as to how I know these people that are so far north. To which I respond, "well, the bride is from Minnesota, the groom is from Hawaii [at this point there are eyebrows being raised] and I met them both when I went to Italy", and the reactions are like..."seriously?!" haha. Ok so enough background story as to why I was in Minnesota, what's important is what happened while I was there.

I severely enjoyed my time there and I got the chance to relax. After several days of being with people and getting wedding arrangements settled, and then actually doing the wedding, I got the opportunity to hang out with my old friend Kathleen, whom I also met in Italy, and a newly made friend Josh, whom the bride and groom met in Italy a year after meeting me (yea...Italy is awesome). I was so blessed to have met some amazing new people and to make connections with people that I would not have normally gotten to meet. It was my last day in Minnesota and my friend Kathleen and I dropped off our newly made friend Josh and we went to dinner to get caught up on life. THIS is where my title starts to be relevant...

For the first couple hours Kathleen and I shared our most recent life developments and expressed what we thought God was doing in our lives. Additionally we had some amazing gas station diner cuisine! After we had finished sharing I found myself staring out the window. Evidently it was obvious that I had something on my mind 'cause Kathleen asked me "What are ya thinking?!" This is a question that in the past has been one I avoided at all cost. I used to hate this question with a passion, and whenever it was asked of me it was like my mind would take everything and shove it away. I would immediately throw up walls and just say nothing. I never wanted anyone to know what I was thinking. That all started to change, however, when I was back in Italy with Kathleen, Bryson (the groom), and Abby (the bride) and we asked all sort of questions that beckoned us to share our thoughts and opinions, and even more recently Amanda (a friend from school) and I had made it a rule that whenever one of asks each other "what are you thinking" we would always answer fully and honestly. 

So when Kathleen asked me it was only natural for me to begin sharing what was on my mind. At that I spent the next couple hours pouring out my heart and soul at a small booth in Middleofnowheresville, MN. Yes...yes I did cry. My friend sat there and listened with great patience, love, and grace at everything I had to say, allowing me to vent out some of my darkest pains and fears. after a great deal of time, I got to the point where I felt like I had completely emptied myself of my thoughts and could settle down again. It was a God ordained moment in which I was able to talk out things that I wasn't able to with others and had been holding back from quite some time. 

One of the things that stands out to me now as I reflect on that conversation is our discussion on my being a perfectionist. I demand of myself that I live to a standard that no man can ever meet, resulting in a an overwhelming sense of failure and inadequacy. When I began to talk about God's grace, I was once again overwhelmed with great emotion and struggled to talk about it, but then I said "I know that God has given me grace, but I don't expect or trust humans to give me grace...but I guess I'm not supposed to right? That's not what grace is about. It's a gift, and I shouldn't expect grace form anyone, even God." Then I said, "I am so grateful for the grace that God has given to me, it's overwhelming and at times it feels like it's too much for me to bear because it is such an undeserved thing. I wish that He never had a reason to need to show me grace at all, that I would be perfect and not require grace for me to be with Him or anything." 

Grace. It's an overwhelming, and incredibly complex characteristic of God and something that is often severely misunderstood within the Church, even though it is the foundation of our cause and existence. Christians have a tendency to totally misuse grace or forget that it exists. 

This morning I say down to read a book called "Inspired by Tozer". It is a collection of essays written by many great Christian artists, musicians, and preachers about how they had been touched by the writing of Tozer. As I was scrolling through the list of authors I noticed that a preacher that I used to list to quite often (and who is highly revered by the church I formerly attended), Judah Smith. So I opened it up to his exert and began reading. The connection between his writings and the conversation that I had but a few days ago with Kathleen were incredible. The title that he chose for his essay was "Embrace Grace." 

Pastor Smith likens grace to the gift that one gets from an aunt that he/she doesn't know what to do with and then simply puts in the closet, or to an awkward side hug given to an old friend. He makes the statement "Most of us don't have trouble believing that God could save us by grace. We know we are sinners, and that Jesus died for us..." and then goes on to say...

 "pride is one of the greatest enemies of grace. We want to be good enough; we want to earn everything-that appeals to our egos. But we need to learn how to receive how to receive [grace] so that we will be able to give back out of the abundance of what God has given to us."

Lets just look at the other all attitude of Christians worldwide. Very few actually embrace grace for what it is or treat grace properly. Nearly every single one of use can find ourselves resting (and/or swinging) between the two extremes. Those on the left find themselves using grace as "get out of jail free card" and say things like "Oh well God has given us grace and I'm saved so I can do what I want. God loves me anyway." While those to the right will acknowledge grace, but generally in the context of one having prayed and read their Bible daily and attended Church regularly saying things like, "well if you don't go to church and don't make sure to repent regularly then you might end up in Hell. You gotta be holy!" 

I'm not debating whether one can lose his or her salvation here (though this could have definite implications concerning the matter). I talking about having the correct mindset concerning the God of the universe and our relationship with Him as sinners. Grace doesn't allow us to just live like Hell and say "hakuna mattata", nor does it demand that we meet a checklist of legalistic disciplines before it will deliver us from "this nasty, sinful existence on Earth" (that's a whole other topic matter). For us to say "it's ok God is gracious" is the same as husband cheating on his wife and saying "oh it's ok cause she loves me enough that she will always bring me back no matter what I do." For us to say "If I do everything to utter perfect then I will earn God's love and grace" is the same as saying "If I do enough chores and buy the right things and say all the right things then maybe my parents will love me enough to show me affection and maybe even put me in their will (but oh no they can here my thoughts and I shouldn't want to be in their will cause that's the wrong motivation for wanting to please them!)" 

God loves us, and in His grace he has made a way that we can approach Him and be able to repent of our sins in a great transaction of forgiveness. We are given grace to be able to have grace. Grace squared. As a result of grace we are given the Holy Spirit so that the same grace that has been given to us might be displayed by us and so that out of grace we might do what is holy and pleasing to God. For outside of grace we are not capable of having faith and without faith in God we cannot desire to honor Him and therefore we cannot please Him. We seek to honor and please Him because we love Him, we love Him as a result of grace, not to earn grace. 

"For is by Grace that we are saved through faith. Not by your own doing, but a GIFT of GOD. NOT by works lest any man should boast."                                                        

-The Apostle Paul, letter to the Ephesians

In conclusion, what I experienced that night was grace. I realized my need for grace, I experienced grace at the hand of my friend, and then was show grace as God demonstrated His love for me and began to renew my understanding grace. As I said before, I wish I never had anything for God show grace for. The fact is, however, that I do have reasons for needing grace from God and it is well time that I let go of my self-centered pride and quiet moping about how I wish I was perfect and live in acceptance, love, and gratitude toward the God who deemed it within His good will to love me and show me grace in light of all that I've done and all that I am. I work towards a goal of sinless perfection, knowing that I am incapable of ever reaching it in my sinful state. It is my wanting to please the God that I love. I love Him, because He first loved me enough to grant me the grace to be able to love Him. Grace.

Age Distortion

Today has been one of those days where I actually feel like 22 year old. Most of the time I feel like a 40 year old that is 16 years old. So in my tradition of first sharing a bizzare and somewhat parradoxical statement, I will now explain what I mean.

Sometimes I think I hit my midlife crisis extremely early, but how I precieve family life is that existence is much like when I was 16 and first started to gain any independance and figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. In the area of dependance, therefore, it as if I'm still a teenager, but how much I think about death and meaning leads me to question my purpose for existence much like that of a middle aged man.

Honestly it's a very messed up way of living and precieving the world. Today I am living in a completely different way. So it is a nice vacation from the dysfunctional mindset that I have found myself in of late. Today I did not worry about the fact that time is running short for my life, not did I feel like a teenager trapped under the authority of his parents. I was a 22 year old adult.

I think what led to this was a visit to a Baha'i temple. My mom is in a Religion and Psychology class for school and is required to write a paper on her visits to two religious services that she is unfamiliar with. She chose to visit a local Baha'i group and asked me to join her. After the service she engaged in conversation with a couple of the people their and asked her questions while I went down stairs to have coffee with the others. There I was able to ask my own questions and engage in conversation with other adults who valued my opinion and appreciated my honesty and curiosity.

While I disagreed with many of their beliefs, I appreciated being able to have real conversation with others, much like I was able to do with the sheikhs in the Jordan. Some how, this helped bring about the security and independence that I needed to see in myself. I need to see that I am more than just a wallflower, but instead I can engage with adults of other backgrounds, histories, cultures, and even religions without the help of another or the security of a friend of family member to fall back on for support. It's nice to feel and act one's own age. 

Between the Lines

The other day I was thinking about how my entire life I've grown up in a society that has roads with different yellow lines and white lines painted on them. Then there's traveling containing flight pathes, directions and road signs, and various rules and regulations that set up boudaries in life. And I think it is possible that this has had a significant impact on my life.

Perhaps it is mere speculation, but is it possible that having had road signs and pavement with yellow lines my entire life caused me to have a lacking ability to provide some direction for my own life? Based off of looking at my friends around me I would say it is more of a matter of nature rather than nurture, but lets get a little more personal with this. I can seehow in my life there have been proverbial paved roads in my life that define what is acceptable. They have laid out where I can go and what I can do, and me being the type that isn't much of a rebel I have not contested those boundaries till recently.

What I have been doing is enjoying the natural formation of a man made river (think about that for a few minutes...ok). I have a misguided perspective of what I've always seen as the "natural course" of life when in reality I was experiencing some thing that is formulated and planned, touched by humanity and depravity.
There comes a time when people are faced with reality; when all that has been taught to them has been put to the test and either stands or is laid to waste.

 I find myself at the age of 22 lacking direction for my life. I desire to do a thousand and ten things but I struggle to do even one of them. I desire to be many different things, but am none. If I wish to survive the future I must gain vision for my life quickly and pursue that vision with all my soul...or my soul will go blind and become nothing more than a beggar. I have rejected most of the "roads" that were paved for me and now find my self needing to make my own. Where do I start?

Parallels, Policemen, and the Imago Dei

Today I had the wonderful privilege of going to see one of my best friends who is a youth pastor up in Knoxville and the editor of From the Library to the Lectern . After spending the day driving around and playing a few rounds of Call of Duty, I went with him and his wife to participate in one of their youth meetings. I was most pleased with the kindness and generosity of the Church members that I met and with the kindness of the youth, but what most amazed me was that the youth were so engaged during the lesson! They were asking questions (and darn good ones at that!) concerning the lesson on Genesis chapter 1. After listening to them discuss the chapter I felt like writing a little bit about the creation account of chapter 1 for my blog. So here we go!

In the Beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth

An excellent title if I've ever heard one! And that is exactly what many scholars believe that this line was used for. As a title to introduce the rest of chapter one. So for those who lean more toward a belief in the "gap theory" for Gen. 1:1 and 1:2, I would beg you to please give this some thought and consider the possibility that their might be another answer to you're question concerning the matter. Yes it leaves you with plenty of more questions, but that is ok. One could argue that it is sin to attempt to remove all mystery from a God who is beyond understandable.

God gives us a very interesting layout for creation. there seems to be a very direct parallel in days 1-3 and day 4-6. Let me demonstrate.

              Light-Day 1    Day 4-The Sun and Moon                  

Separation of sky and sea-Day2    Day 5-Birds and creatures of the deep

                                   (Interesting note, God never declares this good)                                                                                                   

Dry land-Day 3    Day 6-Land creatures    

God first forms the earth. He creates Light, separates sky and sea, and the brings forth dry land. Then God begins to fill what He has formed in the same order! He set the Sun and Moon to govern light! He sets flying creatures and swimming creatures to rule the skies and seas! He places Creatures and crawling things to rule over dry land! It is a wonderfully beautiful demonstration of God's character and rich in theological implication! 

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! 

God wasn't finished. He created the Earth and all that was in it. He formed a habitat that could be indwelt, and now for His final act of creation He would create men and women in His own image to and breathed His own life into them. He charged them with "being fruitful and multiplying" and "ruling over the earth and subduing it" and there we find in clear writing the purpose of life and humanity. 

The primary topic I want to touch on here is the topic of "Imago Dei" or "Image of God". What does this mean? Surely it does not refer to physical appearance. Otherwise only one gender would be able to considered made fully in the image of God, but no! Genesis clearly tells us that BOTH men and women are created in His image. So what then?

There are several attributes of God that we must understand before we can fully answer this question. First, we need to know what this might have meant to the audience in which God is giving this narrative to. At the time, when ever a king or ruler conquered a city, he would often erect an "image" of himself in the city, as a representation of his rule over the people and as a sign of his authority. Pagan temples would contain stone and wood idols that were "images" or "representation" of pagan gods. not that the statue itself was a god, but that that it became the representation of said god (much like our Statue of Liberty today, being a statue of the pagan goddess of fertility named Ishtar. Also arguably and idol to gods called greed and pride). 

So from the context we are able to derive that being made in the Image of God can be defined as placing humanity as God's representation upon the earth, which perfectly parallels with His command to rule and subdue the earth. Like policemen are to the law, so are we to God. Policemen are not the law, but they do represent the law! In the same way, we are not God but we do represent His rule over creation. But is there more?

We were created special from the rest of creation. We have souls and we are spiritual beings because we bear God's image; because He breathed life into us Himself. We therefore contain many of God's attributes because of this. 

1 )Creative

2) Relational

3) Compassionate

4) Logical

5) Emotional, etc. 

These are all attributes of God that we reflect because of the Imago Dei! It is a beautiful and exciting thing and is so helpful in our search for meaning and purpose in a world that seeks to eliminate all Light and all truth in the lives of men and women. Even though the image of God in us have been tainted by the Fall, we still can see the evidences of our Creator's hand in shaping each and every one of us...the collective image of God! There are so many implications to life because of this, but I think I leave it at this for now. 

Political Ethics

Personally I'm rather hesitant to claim any political party, though in the past I have proudly declared myself Republican. I grew up being taught a simplistic view of politics that can easily be summarized in two words "Vote Republican." As I grow older I find myself displaying a severe distaste for politics. Before anyone liters my comments section with reasons why I should love politics and why they are important and how it;s my patriotic duty and/or my "Christian" duty to engage in politics, stop. I understand the importance of politics and the necessity of being involved in politics. That's not what my post is about.

First and foremost I'd like to explain why I hate politics. I'm disgusted with the unethical way people handle elections. So I guess one could say that I don't hate politics, I hate elections. I hate elections because I hate how candidates present themselves, things they say and do. I cannot honestly give praise to anyone who bases there campaign on hatred and on tearing down others. While it can be important to point out why the actions of an opponent might be considered foolish or may lead to further problems, it is not necessary to cut down the opponent. Also, talking about the flaws of another persons plans or actions should not be the focus of campaign, but instead it should be on the actions that that person is going to take and why they are going to take it.

Additionally I find a lot of things that people argue most about in political debates are foolish and unimportant. For example, I don't believe candidates should ever talk about their position on "gay marriage" since it isn't even something the government should be able to regulate. Marriage is an institution of religion, not of the government. The government only has the power to recognize marriages established within religious circles, and therefore candidates have no right to use such things to gain support.

Of course, a lot of what politicians say and do are because they want to give the "people" what they want! I blame Americans for the mess our political system is in. The selfishness and greed the people contain in their hearts has led to all that we see now. It is disgusting that people would vote for or against someone because of they are black or white, or Mormon. No I do not think that Mormon are going to heaven. I think that Mormonism is cult, but that doesn't mean that I am going to treat Mormons as if they are subhuman or that they don't make good decisions. Frankly I am almost to the point where i would prefer to vote for a Mormon candidate over a "Christian" candidate, since it is more likely that the one claiming Mormonism is more like to be devout in living out some sort ethical or moral code than the one who claims Christianity.

As a result I find it all extremely frustrating and it leads me to not wish to be involved in any of it. I must actively choose to be a part voting and I often seek the advice of good friends who dearly love politics and have the patience to listen to the garbage they is so often spewed.