Sometimes the hardest thing for me to do is see the good of the "now." Being the kind of perfectionist that I am, I grow restless when things are not as I believe they should be. Additionally, I am extremely hard on myself when I am not doing as much, or as well, as I believe I should be. Instead of looking at myself and saying "this is where I lack, and this is where I can improve" I magnify my lack to the point of not even allowing myself to recognize my good.
This is not a healthy way of living. I should live in the balance of recognizing both "good" and "bad" (for lack of better words). I guess the point is that in my lack of willingness to accept my non-perfection and in turn refuse to see any good at all. Why do I do this? Why this reaction to my disapproval than another? I'm not sure. I'll leave the Nature vs Nurture debate to the experts on this one. Ultimately, it is my fault either way. Regardless of it being genetics or as a product of my environment, I have the ability to make choices. Even if it is a genetic issues, I can override this through practice, prayer, and support from community.
One thing that I am beginning to accept is that I cannot do this on my own. It is my tendency to think it weakness to need help, but we all need help. We were designed to need community and to function within community. It is not a shameful thing to need others, and if those that you are closest to are not willing to help you or bear your burdens, then perhaps it is time to find another community to be apart of.
Grace and Peace,
Stephen
This is not a healthy way of living. I should live in the balance of recognizing both "good" and "bad" (for lack of better words). I guess the point is that in my lack of willingness to accept my non-perfection and in turn refuse to see any good at all. Why do I do this? Why this reaction to my disapproval than another? I'm not sure. I'll leave the Nature vs Nurture debate to the experts on this one. Ultimately, it is my fault either way. Regardless of it being genetics or as a product of my environment, I have the ability to make choices. Even if it is a genetic issues, I can override this through practice, prayer, and support from community.
One thing that I am beginning to accept is that I cannot do this on my own. It is my tendency to think it weakness to need help, but we all need help. We were designed to need community and to function within community. It is not a shameful thing to need others, and if those that you are closest to are not willing to help you or bear your burdens, then perhaps it is time to find another community to be apart of.
Grace and Peace,
Stephen
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