Ok so I'm probably going to regret his post in the morning. After all, I have been told many a times that if one gets an idea after 11 PM, they should sleep on it and see if it is still a good idea the next morning or not. Well, here I am unable to sleep...so here we go!
So what could I possibly be thinking at 2 AM? When did the world become so complicated?!?! Did anyone else notice that it seems to have come out of no where and that it seems like just a decade ago the world was perfect?!
Was it sudden, or was it did it happen so slowly over time that we did not notice it until it began to overwhelm and consume?
Now, here I sit. A 22 year old man, not even a teenager...but a man! Like...what the heck?! When did I grow up?! Where are the years that labeled me a teenager? Why did college come and go so quickly and leave me with more questions than I came with? How did my coming closer to God leave me knowing less about Him? These are just a few of the questions that swim about y mind tonight.
One of the more pressing things in my mind right now is my realization of my poor opinion of women. Sure, ask any of friends about me and they are more than likely to tell you I am a gentlemen and one of the most unperverted persons they have ever met, in over all I'm not going to argue those statements. Why? Because I pour a great amount of focus and effort into earning those statements, to not be yet another male scumball on the earth who devalues and perverts the female gender or uses them as a commodity. That's not who I am. However, I find that it is "poor" in the manner in which many females perspectives of men are "poor", thinking of women as mostly (not all!) vain, self-centered, naggy, and manipulative.
It is not my desire that I should feel this way towards women, and it is sad that I have come to embrace this stereotype in my mind. Although I hold women in a place of honor and respect, I still struggle to not allow these feelings of distrust.
Now I will note that I have some really amazing females friends out there who I find to shatter my stereotype that I have placed upon their gender, though unfortunately it is rare for me to see a good number of them because they live so far from where I'm at (for example Minnesota), one works weird hours in mental health facility, and another I had the pleasure of seeing earlier tonight but is usually 2 hours away.
I did not write this post to make women mad at me, though I'm sure there are a couple who will be quite hurt by this. I don't wish to project my bad experiences upon other women. It just happens. I'm sure I'm not the only guy out there who feels this way, and so I send out this plea. Please, prove me wrong...
In other news I am constantly crushed by stress and find myself consistently emotionally drained and demotivated from doing what I desire to do on a daily basis. No matter how much I argue with myself or try to motivate myself, nothing seems to really push me. And now I will link a song that I feel highly reflects where I am right now in life. enjoy...and goodnight!
So what could I possibly be thinking at 2 AM? When did the world become so complicated?!?! Did anyone else notice that it seems to have come out of no where and that it seems like just a decade ago the world was perfect?!
Was it sudden, or was it did it happen so slowly over time that we did not notice it until it began to overwhelm and consume?
Now, here I sit. A 22 year old man, not even a teenager...but a man! Like...what the heck?! When did I grow up?! Where are the years that labeled me a teenager? Why did college come and go so quickly and leave me with more questions than I came with? How did my coming closer to God leave me knowing less about Him? These are just a few of the questions that swim about y mind tonight.
One of the more pressing things in my mind right now is my realization of my poor opinion of women. Sure, ask any of friends about me and they are more than likely to tell you I am a gentlemen and one of the most unperverted persons they have ever met, in over all I'm not going to argue those statements. Why? Because I pour a great amount of focus and effort into earning those statements, to not be yet another male scumball on the earth who devalues and perverts the female gender or uses them as a commodity. That's not who I am. However, I find that it is "poor" in the manner in which many females perspectives of men are "poor", thinking of women as mostly (not all!) vain, self-centered, naggy, and manipulative.
It is not my desire that I should feel this way towards women, and it is sad that I have come to embrace this stereotype in my mind. Although I hold women in a place of honor and respect, I still struggle to not allow these feelings of distrust.
Now I will note that I have some really amazing females friends out there who I find to shatter my stereotype that I have placed upon their gender, though unfortunately it is rare for me to see a good number of them because they live so far from where I'm at (for example Minnesota), one works weird hours in mental health facility, and another I had the pleasure of seeing earlier tonight but is usually 2 hours away.
I did not write this post to make women mad at me, though I'm sure there are a couple who will be quite hurt by this. I don't wish to project my bad experiences upon other women. It just happens. I'm sure I'm not the only guy out there who feels this way, and so I send out this plea. Please, prove me wrong...
In other news I am constantly crushed by stress and find myself consistently emotionally drained and demotivated from doing what I desire to do on a daily basis. No matter how much I argue with myself or try to motivate myself, nothing seems to really push me. And now I will link a song that I feel highly reflects where I am right now in life. enjoy...and goodnight!
No comments:
Post a Comment