"I'm Ashamed"

Today I listened to an audio file for one of my classes at school. the topic of the lecture was "shame." I took some time to think about this topic...and I have discovered that I deal with an underlying sense of shame in my life. Unlike guilt, shame is not directly linked to morality, but it does come from a sense of having fallen short. So whats my issue with this? In this day and age, people have made for themselves constructs of what it means to be a hero or to be sufficient...and then their minds wander and they build an unrealistic standard of value for humanity, but specifically for themselves. So what I've deduced is that I have set myself a standard by which NO man can reach, and I'm left with a buzzing sense of shame.

With a little more analyzing, I can point out various ways that I have projected my shame of myself onto others, making it as though they feel the same way about me as I do. This could easily be labeled as self-deceit, and it is, of course, unfair to my friends and family since this in turn affects how I treat them. Even better is that there is nothing I can do about this. I can treat the "symptoms" and "side-effects" by having myself do mindset exercises...but lets be honest, that isn't really going to solve anything.

So now I am left in a place of honesty, admitting that I cannot overcome this by anything that I have or can do...I truly am left to trust in God concerning this matter and I have no other option...no plan B. Either God delivers me from my "shame" or I will be left to deal with it until my death and all my being is sanctified. Being left facing these two realities...I say that I will trust God to be faithful and to be loving to one of His own, believing that He will not turn His face from me forever and He will deliver me from my plight long before the grave rises to take my flesh. 

"Run, Sinner, Run"

Recently I was listening to a man talk about music, and during his talk he played several songs for us to demonstrate his point. there was one song in particular that I was rather enjoying, at least i was until the third verse that stated "Run, sinner, run. Find a hiding place" and it said this three times. I wonder about the appropriateness of having a second person, direct address statement to sinners about hiding from the wrath of God. While it is very much a reality for sinners, is it proper or worshipful to directly address them in a song and tell them to flee? Worship should honor God...to give Him praise or to speak of His attributes. Even songs that call people to worship or to holiness and repentance can be considered acceptable in a service...but can this be?

I laughed at the obscurity and what appeared to be a strange shift in the song, but then felt as though I should be singing the song in utter sadness for the sinner (rather than the slightly jovial attitude that I experienced) or be angry that it was in the song at all...that it inspired people to be like pharisees and look down on sinners.

So to summarize:
1) I question the relevance and appropriateness of such statements.
2) I question the relevance and appropriateness of directly addressing sinners in a Church service (given my biased perspective that a worship service is for the believer, not the unbeliever).
3) I question the attitude in which it was presented

So what do you think?

Dream Big

Yesterday I was in the car with a very dear friend, giving her a ride to Chattanooga. She was talking about the future and talking about oppositions that arise against what she wants to do. Then she told me about a conversation she had had with one of our professors that really struck a chord with me. She told me about how the prof had told her that her dreams weren't big enough. Woah...blunt right? but he was right, and she admitted it.

Dreams not big enough...yeah...I'm there too. It is something that I've been realizing but it took someone actually saying those words for it to hit home...and they weren't even said to me! So what are my dreams? What do I want to do? I think a great tragedy for my life would be for me to live out my life with dreams that were so small that I did nothing, rather than to have dreams so big I couldn't do them. So I choose to Dream big! The Apostles dreamed big...they dreamed of a world that followed Christ and worshiped the one true God! No, they didn't see the world fully come to Christ, but if their dream had been just to see Jerusalem evangelized, then where would we be today?

I can rest assured that God is sovereign, I am His human and He is my God, and that because I love and trust Him that He will not let me be disgraced or brought to shame for His namesake, though He chastise me and correct me in ways that are difficult and seem relentless. God has been changing me on the inside by the work of His Holy Spirit within me...changing my thoughts and my desires for life. I know that He will lead me and if I dream big He will guide those dreams to fulfilling His purpose for me. Will I make mistakes? Of course. Will I dishonor and disobey? Yes, though my desire is to not do so.

So what are my dreams? I dream of traveling the world, of easing the pain and suffering of thousands of people, of being a living presentation of the Gospel to people of dozens of nationalities, of mentoring and discipling people to a strong walk with Christ, of making a difference in a world gone mad. I dream of one day being a professor that teaches people how to process the world and to serve others and live biblically. I dream of writing book about my experiences and challenging people by what I write and encouraging them to do something great. Today...I let myself dream. One day I'll look back and see that my dreams have changed, but I will keep counting the stars...keep dreaming of something big for the future. 

"Why I DON'T Hate Religion..." A Sequel

I was going through a blog that I enjoy reading and discovered a link to this video. I have to say that I was very much impressed and had to post the video!

Enjoy! 

The Final Stretch

Ok...so over the course of the last 3.5 years, I have dedicated my life to semi-serious study of Youth Ministry, Theology, and Liberal Arts. I say "semi" because I've severely lacked the motivation and focus that I should have had during my time at my college. While I could point fingers and give a list of excuses and reasons for this that would compete with Schindler's (moderate exaggeration) ...I must look past all that, swallow my pride and say "I'm guilty." So what now?

As I begin my final semester of college, I reflect and see that I have grown and matured so much. I have gone on this long journey to find myself, and I have discovered a man that God has given life and divine breath...a man that God has gifted uniquely; designed to struggle and strive with reality and with himself...as well as with God...but there is grace. In my falling short, God gives me strength and direction. Right now God is shifting me out of my comfort, and convicting me of my sin...my pride. ]

I have the opportunity to do a lot in this world, to look past my own minuscule plans and realize that God has a few plans of His own that are going to override mine. To resist this might result in my being swallowed by an enormous fish for a period of time, or even lead me to an early grave. In my referencing Jonah...I'm not in any way designating me the role of a prophet. No, that is hardly my role in this world. But God has given me gifts and desires to go into this world and be a light, to be His disciple and be an example to the World of who Christ is.

My desire is to not waste the years that God has laid out for me...to see God's world and to see His creation, but to also teach those uneducated in the ways of Christ, to ease the pain of those who suffer, to show love to the hurting, and to be a leader to those who cannot lead themselves. To help bring reunification to the holy catholic (small "c"-Universal) Church that has been ravaged by theological wars and petty differences.

I can't sit in this anymore and just let the world pass me by! May God give me strength and wisdom and lead me to do His will through all circumstances and events of life. May I decrease and He increase.

"I Hate Religion..."

Recently, there has been a particular Youtube video that has appeared on my facebook a great number of times. The video is called, "Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus." Personally I find such a statement very contradictory, but they are not coming from an accurate understanding of the word "religion." I do not say this to be arrogant (as many may accuse me of due to the previous statement, and no it's not called "judging" either). Instead, I simply saying that I have done some reading and spent time in conversations with people to the point that I have come to the conclusion that the vast majority of Christians that I know (particularly those of the South) do not understand the word and therefore use it incorrectly...and even in a derogatory way. For those interested in seeing what I'm talking about, here is the link to the video on Youtube ===>

I am sure that there are many reasons why one might have this conception of reality. One might be upbringing; we all know that family has a major influence in the way we think and the way we act. Another might be false accusations and/or teaching that one has received from his or her own church. A third reason might be one's inability to approach the holy text in a proper and professional manner as to be able to view the scriptures accurately and critically. The last possible reason that comes to mind is that it is merely the lashing out of a small immature child trapped inside the body a young adult  who was hurt or offended by "religion" and simply wants to rant about it while maintaining the status of Christian (not that I think this is the case with this young man here...but it could be true).

I would have to say that I definitely interpret the actions of Jesus just a little bit differently than the man in the video that I have linked above. Like so many I have met, this guy claims that Jesus came to destroy religion. Now...did I miss the scripture that says that??? Granted, I fail in my dedication to reading the Bible, but wasn't it in the book of James (pretty close to the end) where it is taught that true religion is taking care of the widow and the orphan? Religion in it's raw essence means "faith lived out", not "rules and salvation requirements for life." In fact, if you go to Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion) and look up the word you will find the following definitions for the word "religion."

They are as follows:
Religion- noun

1.

a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purposeof the universe, especially when considered as the creationof a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involvingdevotional and ritual observances, and often containing amoral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

2.

a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generallyagreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christianreligion; the Buddhist religion.

3.

the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefsand practices: a world council of religions.

4.

the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.

5.

the practice of religious  beliefs; ritual observance of faith.

6.

something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point ormatter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fightingprejudice.

I get what the man is saying, and he is so right! However, the misuse of the word religion as has been displayed here and the overzealous perspective of disgust and hatred of "religion" is something that I would argue to be unchristian and can promote others to act out in sin and cause unwarranted prejudice and disunity. Instead of ranting and making a bunch of statements that "sound good" to people, lets address the real issue here! Pride, hypocrisy, thievery, manipulation...all these issues of sin that happen in church, both the "religious" ones and the "nonreligious" ones! There are somethings worth fighting about...this isn't one of them. Come on Church...grow up.

Review of Real Marriage by Mark Driscoll

            Leadership begins in the home. How can a man be a leader in the church if he cannot be a leader to his own family and, first and foremost, his own wife? Mark and Grace Driscoll have written, what I would say is, a most excellent book concerning the topic of marriage. It is an important topic, especially with the numbers of divorces on the rise in (and out) of the Church.

I greatly appreciated the Driscoll duo’s honesty and openness in talking about their marriage and sharing their struggles and pains that they have had to deal with in life. This is a great strength to the book because it allows the audience to connect the couple. We see that they aren’t just spurting out information, but instead that they have had the experience of a rough marriage to go along with the academic knowledge. Mark and Grace Driscoll have opened up and laid everything out for the world to see, showing that they too are human beings and that they haven’t had a perfect marriage, but that they have overcome the struggles through the aid of the Holy Spirit.

A second strength to the book is the natural ability to communicate which is found in both of the authors. It is always a pleasure to read a book by someone who is able to articulate their words and clearly structure their thoughts, and Mark and Grace are no exception to this. Mark and Grace did not simply through down random words and thoughts; they have clearly taking the time to do their research and to structure their book.

A third strength to the book was the topic matter, as well as the Driscoll duo’s attention to theology and biblical doctrine. While the book wasn’t just drenched in scripture, there was some and there was obviously a great deal of care taken to make sure that they didn’t state anything that was heretical. In talking about what a couple can and cannot do in the bed (yeah, they took the time and care to talk about that stuff too), they did everything from a biblical stand point and asked the questions “Is it lawful?” and “Is it helpful?” These are fundamental questions for filtering out what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, even within a marital context.

I believe that there were many implications for ministry within this book. In his letters to Timothy, Paul teaches that leaders of the Church have to be able to manage their families and that they are to be good husbands. Mark told about his struggle in ministry due to the disconnect between him and his wife and how their church suffered because of their faulty marriage. This is something that ministers have to be aware of. If we do not take care of our spouses and build the relationship at home, how are we to be affective in the Church? If ministers can’t love their wives as Christ loved the church…then how do they expect to properly love the church and take care of it?

In addition to the previously stated, ministers have to deal with situations within their church in which there are couples whose marriages are in disarray and are in need of help. The minister has no right to speak concerning other peoples marriages if he himself is not working at his own marriage. I’m not saying that it is required of him to be the perfect husband or that the marriage be flawless, but that he be working hard to keep it together and to be a godly man.

Also I think that perhaps it is beneficial for a minister to learn to be somewhat open and honest about his own life and him and his wife’s past experiences when counseling others for marriage. In that minister’s openness they are able to better connect and it allows the couple being counseled to open up and be honest about their marriage and to share their pains and struggles.

The topic matter of the book ranges from friendship within a marriage to the couples se life. Since the book focuses on those who are already married, the topic of compatibility is not really discussed. I’ve heard of marriage books actually containing compatibility tests, which is pointless since they are already married and can’t do anything about it. Mark and Grace spend a significant amount of time discussing the topic of friendship and how it is the basis for a good marriage and healthy sex life. Mark talks about how he and his wife read nearly 200 books on the topic of marriage and not a single one of them talked about the topic of friendship (pg 24). The Driscoll duo makes a great case for talking about the importance of friendship in a marriage and it’s correlation to the couple’s sex life.

There are three my parts covered in the book. The first is Marriage in general, telling how guys and girls should act within a marriage. This part also covers the topic of friendship as stated in the above paragraph. The second part is totally about sex and what it is from a biblical standpoint, as well as what is biblically acceptable in the bedroom. The third is what I think is often overlooked within a marital context. Driscoll talks about how so many couples pour all their efforts into the “first day” of their marriage when “the last day is more important” (pg 204). He talks about the last day in reference to marriage ending in divorce, standing over the spouse’s grave in regret of the life spent together, or in rejoicing in all the memories that they have shared together. Overall I loved this book and I would definitely recommend this book to others.

Works Cited

Driscoll, Mark and Grace. “Real Marriage”. Thomas Nelson Inc. Nashville, TN. 2012