Thought Overload

Simply put, I find myself having too much to think about. I have various things that I want to think about or discuss, but I'm overloaded with these thoughts to the point where I cannot focus enough on one topic to really do it justice. The following is a list of topics that I wish to discuss and explore:

• Forgiveness
• War
• "Sacraments: Simply Symbolic or Secretly Supernatural" (I'm currently writing a research paper on this topic)
• Calling and vocation
• The necessity of diversity 
• Living life to honor God
• Why Learn?/Why Liberal Arts?
• The authority of the Pope/Church government and authority
• The hyper-spiritual, the mystic, and the insane (Yeah, there's a difference)
• Being a member of the "mid-Church": Living and worshiping in between high-Church and low-Church
• The Church: Body, Bride, and Sacred Brotherhood
• Creeds (I'd like to write up my own version of the creeds as a display of my own confession and beliefs)
• Social Media: Good or Evil?
• The arts and sciences
• A evaluation of music on recent Top 40 list
• Theology of the body
• Repentance and confession
• The "Saints"
• etc etc etc...

These are just a few of the things that are rolling around in my head. I will be selecting two or three at a time and really diving into thought concerning those select few, and once I'm done I'll pick another set. Feel free to give me resources and/or make suggestions as to which topics I go over first! 

"Sheik House Revelations" Amman, Jordan July 20, 2011

I came across an old note of mine that I posted on Facebook and decided to copy and paste it to my blog. Feel free to share your thoughts concerning my note. Enjoy!

'I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God.  Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you." Rev 3: 1-3

Tonight I sent a good deal of time with some local Muslims, two of whcih were Sheiks (Muslims scholars and highly esteemed religious elders) who had invited me and my friend Michael Williams over for a "Religious Discussion". The night went well, and though we had our disagreements and our difficulties in communication (especially with having to use a translator and all) we were able to enjoy a nice evening of discussion. I also was able to visit a Mosque durring the time of prayer. It was good night and a good experience for me and for Michael. However...even though we walked away feeling satisfied and like we had fulfilled our purpose and our goal for the night, we confessed to each other that we we're feeling a great saddness. We had seen the failings of the Holy and Beloved Catholic (Universal, not Roman-Catholic) Church in the world. My heart is now overwhelemed with great saddness and great anger over the behavior of the church these last few centuries...and blasted divisions made over some of the most foolish reasons. What makes the church think that it has the right to rebel against scripture??? What makes the Church think that God will honor these divisions made in the Church? What ever happened to unity? The Beloved have become taited by their sin and their rebellion? Does the Church no longer fear their God that they would allow themselves to fall into such terrible sins as sexual immorality, unwarrented divorse, acts that lead to warrented divorse, pride, arrogance, hipocracy, lies, false doctrine, flippant study of the scripture, half hearted worship, idiolitry, self centeredness, hatred, impatience, and so much more?!?!?! These things are rampant inthe church and are often labeled as being "acceptable" or "following the Spirit". Too many people claim Christianity and live otherwise! You foolish men and women! You have broken the commandment that says "Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain"! do you ot understand this? Do you not see the evil in proclaiming to be of God's chosen and not living a life honorable? I am not saying that the only Christians are the ones who have it all together and never sin. We all sin and we all make mistakes....but I am speaking against those who are unrepentent and say "I'm a child of God" or "I have been saved" when their is no fruit from them! There is no loe of God that shines in their life, but only a desire for social status or manipulation. I am angered by pastors and preachers and elders who compromise truth for lies.  Some of these are called "liberal" and others still are called "conservative", those who would take away from the doctirne of God's Holy Word and those who would add to it! Are not both of these things wrong? I was disturbed when a Muslim brought up a statistic about the church ( I was a little confussed as to whether he was talking about the church as a whole or just the Anglican denomination) stating that 71% of the "believers" say that you dont need to believe that Jesus is God. Who suddenly decided this? Are we so willing to say that you dont have to believe Jesus is God just to make Christianity less offensive? To try and make things ore acceptabel and easier to understand? Sure, it would  be easier to not have to try and explain what we mean by "Trinity" but that isn't for us to try and make easier. I want the church to return to it's first love...I want an end to the false teachers and false "prophets" on television and those traveling aroudn from church to church to be put in their place. God do something about Your church! PLease open our eyes before we stirr you to wrath against us!!!Church of the west...you have failed...repent before alll is lost and God's wrath be turned against us.

The Long Road to the Self

Self-Discover: "the process of figuring out the one thing you think you should know better than anybody else but don't." This of course is my own definition...but I find it to be pretty accurate. I've had several of the youth in my Church tell me that they were seeking to discover themselves, and I simply turn them and say "God speed." It's a long, hot, and messy road at times Its a great challenge of life that all must experience, but some find it far more difficult than others.

In my own life, I have found it to be both difficult and exciting! The things that I've seen God do in my life have been phenomenal, and I am left amazed with it all. I have found that the most life changing things have happened in foreign countries and/or among communities of people that I never would have dreamed of having the privilege of being connected with. I am still on this journey, I'm still learning about who I am and who God is. I look back and wish I had learned a lot of these things so much sooner, and i wonder how many others feel the same way. The problem is that the Church and our families are supposed to be very active in helping us do this, but sadly the Church is not doing its jobs and families have been so broken that they fall short of being able help one another. Yet there is a responsibility left up to the individual to act upon.

Many people have not begun searching for themselves, figuring themselves out. They are lazy or unwilling to do what is necessary, or they are just not interested enough, or they think it unnecessary to understand who they are.

But there are also many people who never slow down and are just doing one thing after another. To those of you who are like that...I would say STOP. Take a moment to breathe and to think. It is necessary to take the time to process life and to process what you experience and what you know. Sometimes we are required to act, and other time we just need to slow down for a moment and think. See the world that lies around us and not let moments pass us by because we are too frantic about figuring out we are. 

"I'm Ashamed"

Today I listened to an audio file for one of my classes at school. the topic of the lecture was "shame." I took some time to think about this topic...and I have discovered that I deal with an underlying sense of shame in my life. Unlike guilt, shame is not directly linked to morality, but it does come from a sense of having fallen short. So whats my issue with this? In this day and age, people have made for themselves constructs of what it means to be a hero or to be sufficient...and then their minds wander and they build an unrealistic standard of value for humanity, but specifically for themselves. So what I've deduced is that I have set myself a standard by which NO man can reach, and I'm left with a buzzing sense of shame.

With a little more analyzing, I can point out various ways that I have projected my shame of myself onto others, making it as though they feel the same way about me as I do. This could easily be labeled as self-deceit, and it is, of course, unfair to my friends and family since this in turn affects how I treat them. Even better is that there is nothing I can do about this. I can treat the "symptoms" and "side-effects" by having myself do mindset exercises...but lets be honest, that isn't really going to solve anything.

So now I am left in a place of honesty, admitting that I cannot overcome this by anything that I have or can do...I truly am left to trust in God concerning this matter and I have no other option...no plan B. Either God delivers me from my "shame" or I will be left to deal with it until my death and all my being is sanctified. Being left facing these two realities...I say that I will trust God to be faithful and to be loving to one of His own, believing that He will not turn His face from me forever and He will deliver me from my plight long before the grave rises to take my flesh. 

"Run, Sinner, Run"

Recently I was listening to a man talk about music, and during his talk he played several songs for us to demonstrate his point. there was one song in particular that I was rather enjoying, at least i was until the third verse that stated "Run, sinner, run. Find a hiding place" and it said this three times. I wonder about the appropriateness of having a second person, direct address statement to sinners about hiding from the wrath of God. While it is very much a reality for sinners, is it proper or worshipful to directly address them in a song and tell them to flee? Worship should honor God...to give Him praise or to speak of His attributes. Even songs that call people to worship or to holiness and repentance can be considered acceptable in a service...but can this be?

I laughed at the obscurity and what appeared to be a strange shift in the song, but then felt as though I should be singing the song in utter sadness for the sinner (rather than the slightly jovial attitude that I experienced) or be angry that it was in the song at all...that it inspired people to be like pharisees and look down on sinners.

So to summarize:
1) I question the relevance and appropriateness of such statements.
2) I question the relevance and appropriateness of directly addressing sinners in a Church service (given my biased perspective that a worship service is for the believer, not the unbeliever).
3) I question the attitude in which it was presented

So what do you think?