The Silent Implosion

Recently, I was sitting on my bed and just looking at Facebook when suddenly...I froze. I started analyzing my thoughts and actions over the last several days, weeks, and even months. There was one significant thing I've noticed about my attitude and my actions and it is that my life goals and desires have slowly begun to become focused on ME. Many who read this might think, "Isn't that the point of a life goal or desire? Is it supposed to be about your life?" I say "no". I have let the sickness that is my selfishness become exceedingly strong in my life, and in doing so I have neglected the needs of others, and most importantly the health of my spiritual life. Tonight I lay on my bed in confession of my sin and I repent of what I have done. If I have hurt anyone in the process I seek forgiveness, and if you read this I ask that you seek me out privately that I might make amends. I resist the implosion of my soul that has silently overtaken me.

 I have made life about me, stressed over my appearance, lived in self-hatred for how I look, and looked out upon the world with both arrogance and hopeless despair. These are all things that are in opposition to how I am to live as a human being. I say "human being" and not "Christian" because if God designed humanity to live a particular lifestyle, then Christians are not the only ones who should be living that way. So perhaps we should stop telling people "Stop living sinfully and start living Christianly" and start saying "Stop living sinfully and start living humanly." The evil in us is the sin nature, not the human nature...they are still two different things, though they are welded together by "Original Sin."