The Nature of Me

"My soul cries out unto the Lord saying, 'Rescue me, oh my Lord, for I am but a man, a sinner from birth! Let me not fall into utter darkness...far from Your divine hand!' and in the darkness I wait upon the Spirit of the Lord, for I know that He who hears all will not turn from me forever."

From time to time I fall into a state of reflection, contemplation, and self evaluating...this is one of those moments. In the course of current life events I find myself utterly useless and unable to bear the burden of facing my everyday struggles head on. Even worse is my loss of time spent in devotion to my God. I guess it would be more accurate for me to say "the one true God" as opposed to "my God" since 1) He is not only "my" God and 2) I hardly treat Him as such these days. Sure, I pray and occasionally read scripture and I sure talk a heck a lot about God and theology, but didn't also the Pharisees of old do the same? 

Over the last few years I have grown and matured and changed my perspective on life time and time again...but I still have so far to go. Recently, I have begun to lose vision for my life, and as a result my perspective on the future (as well as the present...and maybe even the past) has grown dark and hopeless. Isn't it amazing what can happen to a man in a period of two weeks? Granted, most of this has probably just been festering in the back of my mind for quite some time, but recent issues have caused the revealing of them. I grow weary, I wonder about my ability to be on my own, to raise a family, to make an impact in people's lives...

Tonight I laid in my bed with my thoughts being all but silent and was unable to sleep...and the next thing I knew I was grabbing my phone and, after a quick tweet, found myself reading through the first four chapters of Genesis and thinking about God and the creation of man. I lit a candle in my room and began to pray. I prayed in a way that I haven't since June when I was in Amman, Jordan. Why? Because the greatest tragedy in my life right now is not all the issues and events going on my life...not the family deception...not the family members that are sick and dying. No, its that I have stood here thinking that I might be one of the few people in my family with his head on straight or of spiritual stature when I am the one who grieves the Spirit of God with my pride and my spiritual arrogance! There may be things that I am doing right...and I might be a person with a servants heart, but I am neglecting a holy righteous God! I have taken the Lord's name upon myself in vain, saying that I am a "man of God" when I show so little love and devotion to Him! What good is the knowledge that I have if I don't have the Spirit of the most high God dwelling within and around me? I have becoming nothing more a than a silhouette of my true self...darkness with just enough light to give shape and form to who I am. 

Therefore I find myself no longer in a state of reflection...but in a state of repentance! I am crying out to the God of the universe to save me from myself, because I cannot, and I seek restoration and for vision. I know that tomorrow I will wake up and I will fail again, but truly God is holy and just and He is powerful...mighty to save. May He save my every day of my existence...that I might spend every single day waking up to His grace and His salvation and learning to live in community with His Spirit. Little by little becoming more and more like Him and being restored renewed, and redeemed. Old wine skins...to new wine skins.

Uniquely Different For His Glory

If you walked into a corridor lined with various stone sculptures, you will face a duel reality...and yet it most likely that it will completely pass over your head and you will only recognize one of the two reality. Some will  see the statues before them and see stone...overs might see carvings. What I mean to say is that some will look at them and will simply recognize that they are all stone...of the same essence...all "alike". Other, however, will see the details of the artists carvings and scrapings and say, "look how different they all are!", but few will recognize the duel nature that they are all different but they are all the same.

One aspect of culture that I find fascinating is the tendency for people to all fall into a pattern together. I have found that there are very few people in the world you are are truly unique or "different". This is not a bad thing, but it is often taught as such. I hear teens talk about wanting to be unique, their own person. The best part is when you ask them why and they respond with "because all my friends are!" I find it rather humorous that pop culture teaches teens to "be your own person so you can be like everyone else" and they fall for this false ideology. In the end the most unique person is the one who is trying to be like someone else. Admittedly, I have gotten to see quite a few interesting expressions of fashion and artistic interest because of this cultural set up.

The beautiful part though is that it can inspire one to get out and try something new...discover their abilities or their skills. Granted this can also do the opposite...I believe it does more good than harm. I do not think that I would have discovered this about culture if I had not myself gone and interacted with other cultures in Europe and the Middle East. Italy specifically drew out this reality in that I saw people WANTING to be the same. The desire for "individuality", as Americans use it, was all but nil.

We must remember that God designed humans with a need for community and fellowship...something that is evident in our nations addictions to social media, MMORPG's (Massive Multi-player Online Role-playing Games), etc. Those who are always alone are depressed, angry, hurting, or mentally unstable. This is one of the reason why Paul commanded the believers to "not forsake the gathering of the saints" because he recognized the need for fellowship with like-minded people and the need for us to encourage one another. Are we supposed to be carbon copies of one another? No....HECK NO! We being different...complete each other. We all have different talents, hobbies, and interests and we make up a grand collage that displays God's handiwork and paints a picture of life and death, good and evil, beauty and perversion called...humanity.

So therefore we must learn to be ourselves, but maintain our connection to the rest of humanity...each a working of the Great Artist. For we are all designed uniquely, and yet of the same flesh or "essence". It is not  culture that effects us...its that we effect culture by swinging to one of the two initial needs for individualism and community, and we must train ourselves to be of the mindset that draws out both needs and satisfies them.

For the Church, it means actually getting in there and doing what you're good at, being the member of the body that you are and stop sitting back and being lazy or complaining that you don't have someone else's task, etc. You dishonor God in wishing you were someone else, slapping God in the face by saying that the gifts and talents that He graced you with aren't good enough. Worship and honor your God by seeking to fulfill His will for your life...form and fill the Earth with the talents and gifts that He gave you. I struggle to fulfill this myself. It's one of the taints of the fall, but we must strive to do this, even in the knowing that we will fail time and time again! God knows and understands our weaknesses and He will aid us if we seek Him and run after pleasing Him. I believe the Holy Scriptures clearly teach that He desires us to be in communion with Him and to Worship Him with all our minds. our souls, and our strength...and if it's His will He will make it so that we can overcome every obstacle that keeps us from fulfilling that task!

Homoattractive vs. Homosexual

I took this Letter from the Bryan College "Triangle Newspaper" website. The link is: http://www.bryantriangle.com/opinion/letter-to-the-editor-attraction-is-not-sin/ I decided to post this on my blog because I found the letter rather intriguing, and also because I felt that, compared to more recent articles and letters to the editor, that this was actually well written and thought out. The real question, however, is "is this an acceptable philosophy?" Leave your comments and tell me what you think!


"Dear Editor (and Ms. "blank"),
I read your letter to the editor this past week, and while there were several things that I agree with, the main point has been bothering me all week. I have to say, I disagree. You said, “I do believe that having attraction to the same sex is wrong and is an act that requires repentance.”
Same-sex attraction is not a sin. Same-sex attraction is not an act. Same-sex attraction is a temptation, and a temptation that a lot of research suggests will be with you your entire life. Attraction is also not the same as lust.
I believe that even you would agree with this. If attraction is lust, than attraction to anyone of the opposite sex is also sin, unless they’re your spouse (so good luck courting).
Instead the main Greek word used for lust, also often translated covet, can also be used for good desires (Hebrews 6:11 And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end). It is a desire or longing for a thing. But that desire is wrong, when it reduces someone to an object to crave.
Attraction, on the other hand, notices that the person your looking at looks good. I think that Emma Watson is attractive, and several of my friends. But that is not the same as lusting after any of them. Can attraction be a temptation? Certainly. Is it sin? No.
In the same way that I can be tempted to gorge myself on a feast, to hurt someone who’s wronged me, or to pridefully ridicule an opinion I disagree with, I can be tempted to lust after those I find attractive. It is not sin to feel temptation. Jesus felt temptation too. But being tempted isn’t wrong.
To single out a single temptation as being itself sin, requiring of repentance drives away those who desperately need our help. Instead it is typical for them to find the church’s doors closed. God spent time with sinners. He loved them so much it killed him. Though he tells them to “sin no more,” he also offers them forgiveness for their failings, and restoration.
So yes, “everyone struggles with something.” Your sins are no more or less acceptable to God than any other. Maybe we as the Church need to remember that we are just as flawed as those we so often seek to condemn."

Does the Church even know "WWJD?"

         I think it is a big issue in the church today that we have not done the best job at mixing with the culture of America. Personally I don’t think that the WWJD? bracelets were a stupid thing, but we do have to take into account that Christians tried to market Jesus. Christians in America, up until recently, have done a terrible job at creating good art and music. To top it off, an increase of cheesy t-shirts and clothing started to appear in the shelves. I think that the problem isn’t necessarily that there are Christian T-shirts, but the fact that they aren’t worth buying. Granted I have seen some that I thought were good or even fun, but most are really just ridiculous. It opens the door for people to think that they have to have a shirt with a Cross on it that says “I’m not perfect, I’m just forgiven”, which brings me to my next point. We have to be very careful when we do make these different things like hats and shirts because in the end we may be giving off the wrong message about Christ. 

          The fact of the matter is that the Church has watered down the Gospel to make it appealing to a "marketing world" and to fit "Americanism". It does not help that there are those within the church that cry out "We ain't religious! We're Christians!", which is a false understand of what "religion" really is. Religion is faith lived out. As it is said in the Scriptures, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27 Our faith is reflected in how we live our lives, in how we worship, in how we approach each and every situation that we must deal with in our lives. It's how we interact with others, how we do business, and it can even be seen within our art and architectural...it is the foundation of our philosophies...whether we claim a religious perspective or not. So yea..."What Would Jesus Do?"...but the next question is "What Are You Going to Do?" We ARE Christianity, and we reflect Him. We may mess up and have to go back before our gracious God in repentance,  but even in our brokenness we reflect God and we live as a catalyst to the world, mediators between the Light and the Darkness. Wake up Church...your Husband has called you to a higher standard and He has given you a great purpose..to live life to the fullest in awe and loving worship of a good, glorious, and just God.

Holiness in the Life of the Believer

Across the borders of denominations we see a wide variety of belief concerning the topic of holiness. In some churches, particularly those of the Methodists, Church of God, Assemblies of God, and Pentecostal Denominations, we see an extreme push for holiness that often leads to a purely legalistic lifestyle. This is a very important thing for us to understand about ourselves, and seek to understand better. Other churches neglect the whole concept of holiness and teach that you can do whatever you want as long as you don’t feel guilty, or perhaps they teach that as long as you repent of it after doing it that there is no issue.

            So what is “holiness”? Why does it matter? What does the Bible have to say concerning the topic? What does this mean to us in the area of Salvation? How does this affect our lives in as a whole? These are the questions that we should be asking ourselves as believers, and we need to think critically and Biblically concerning each and every one of these. No question asked of theology or of the nature of God and our relationship with Him should ever be answered halfheartedly or passively.


           Definitions: let’s begin by looking at some definitions from Miriam-Webster’s Dictionary. Here are the five definitions found on the Miriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary. 1: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness 2: divine <for the Lord our God is holy — Psalms 99:9(Authorized Version)> 3: devoted entirely to the deity or the work of the deity <aholy temple> <holy prophets> 4a : having a divine quality <holy love>b : venerated as or as if sacred <holy scripture> <a holyrelic> 5—used as an intensive <this is a holy mess> <he was a holyterror when he drank — Thomas Wolfe> ; often used in combination as a mild oath <holy smoke> — ho·li·ly adverb.

            We see that the word for holy definitely points toward God and toward being set apart or “sacred” as many would say.

            In several letters written by Paul, we see the word holy being used to also imply a sense of purity and Christ-like attitude and lifestyle. Throughout the Bible we see a call to holiness to the people of God. Even we as gentiles are called to live holy before our God. In fact, in both the Old and New Testament, there is a sort of requirement of the people of God to be holy, set apart, and pure in their way of living. In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul makes this plea, “Since we have these promises, beloved [Followers of Christ in Corinth], let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.”(ESV) But what did Paul mean in saying these things? What was the context of this verse?

In the verse just before we learn the following

1.      The Corinthians were being restrictive in their affection toward Paul and his fellow travelers.

2.      The Corinthians were taking part in worldly actions and giving themselves over to lawlessness (2 Cor. 6:14)

3.      Paul is obviously addressing what he sees to be a serious problem within the Church of Corinth.

The idea of being holy and set apart is not just something that was required of the Corinthians. Paul told the Colossians that Christ died “in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before Him [The Father] (Col. 1:22. ESV).”

Leaders are held to an even higher standard because of their role as influencers within the Church Body. Paul writes about this in his letters to Timothy as well as to Titus (1 Timothy 3:1-3, Titus 1:5-8). In both passages Paul states that the “overseer must be above reproach” and he also lists off over qualification that reflect this need for purity, including being the “husband of one wife”, being “sober-minded”, etc.

But why live holy? Why be set apart?

1.      God clearly desires for us to be holy.

a.       In Leviticus He tells the priests to tell His people “be holy, for I the Lord am holy.” And as part of the Church we are “grafted in” to the people of Israel and this becomes part of who were are to be.

b.      The whole reason for the Jerusalem Counsel (Acts 15) was to determine the laws that we as Gentiles must follow. It was a holiness issue!

2.      How can we be a light to the World when we look just like the World?

a.       Romans 12:2 tells us not to be caught up in things this world does or be like them, but to be transformed through the renewing of our minds by the Holy Spirit.

b.      The Holy Spirit works in us to make us more holy.

Talking it out: Let the students interact at this point, talk about how we can apply this to our lives ant to our culture today. Ask questions like “how does this affect how we treat others?”, “How does this affect us in our schools, in our jobs?”

           “I have a rock at home that, when I was a child, I took and spray-painted Gold. I kept that rock in my room and pretended like it was real! But it was obvious that it wasn’t real gold, but it did catch people’s attention. The problem is that it has considerably less value because it wasn’t pure Gold. Gold, real gold, is at its highest value when it’s been purified. The question I leave you with is this…are we living our lives in such a way that we look like Gold on the inside, but inside we are nothing more than a rock coated in gold spray-paint? Let us seek to live Holy and listen to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to lead us and purify us.”

            In the Psalms, David states the following : “Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing form the LORD and righteousness from the God of his salvation.” (Psalms 24:3-5 ESV). If we want to be people in stand in the presence of God and are led by His Spirit, then we must seek to be holy and have “clean hands” and a “pure heart”. These terms are holistic, speaking of the whole being pure.

·         We must have “clean hands”

o   This term gives us the impression of having innocence in deed.

o   Pilot “washed his hands” of the death of Jesus.

o    In the same sense we are seeing that David is saying that those whose deeds are blameless are able to come before God

·         And a “Pure heart”

o   Not only are our deeds to be blameless, but our intentions as well

o   We must not forget that God looks at the hearts of men and judges them accordingly.

o   What good is it for to do what is right, if our intentions are evil in nature?

As Christians, we must strive to be Spirit-led people. We must work to honor God and to show His Nature to everyone around us. Let us make ourselves humble before God and seek to be pure and holy vessels, useful to the Spirit for the sake of His kingdom.

Work Cited

“The Holy Bible”. ESV. Crossway Bibles Publishing. Wheaton, Illinois. 2008

“Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary”. Online Resource. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/holy> 

"Synonymous" (An Italian Sonnet)

Through eyes of flesh I have seen thee, God’s Bride

How you speak and the way you walk

Oh how I cannot help but to balk

Now the world looks upon you with chide

You pretend that all has been swept aside

You say “I have put my Husband first”

But everything you say are words rehearsed

Full of selfish motive and with your pride.

Darkness has overthrown my very own sight

And I prostitute myself to my desires

In the shadow of God’s towering spires

If only there would be truth to my plight

And I would cut off my selfish desires

That I might be pleasing in God’s holy sight. 

“His Presence Matters”

           Recently, I had the privilege of hearing Pastor Francis Chan speak on the topic of "God's Presence Matters". Pastor Chan has always been one of my favorite speakers. I love how real he is and how he is able to really connect with his audience. During his preparation for talking about the subject, he found himself left with the question “does anything else matter?’ That IS the real question here. Chan then asked “If the God of heaven came down and made His presence known, wouldn’t that be the only thing that mattered?”

We have to have God’s presence. It is true that God is everywhere…but is His “presence” everywhere? What I mean by this is, is the awareness of His presence there and/or is there a difference between God being here with us and God being “present” here with us? Could it be that, yes He is everywhere and therefore He is in the room, but that He is not “present” with us in that we are not in a place of intimacy with Him and are in a way disconnected from His heat? That He is not “with us” in that He is not involved in our thoughts or actions because He desires us to seek Him and be intimate with Him on our own effort rather than He impose His sovereign right to make us be intimate with Him? I believe so.

 What does this mean for ministry? Ministry is God’s heart…and for us to be truly effective we are going to have to get humble, seek God, and get into His presence. I’m not talking about the manifestations and feelings that my Pentecostal brethren and I so often prioritize, but instead the real time spent in dedication to building our relationship with our Father and with our Husband, that we might not work alone or in vain…but instead work alongside our God, who so very much wants to be “present” with us. This is significant to the lives of all believers everywhere, and not just to those who are "in ministry", because missionaries and pastors are not the only ones who do the work of God or build the kingdom. Pastor and missionaries are leaders of the church, teachers, men and women dedicated seeking God and keeping His church structured in the way that is most biblical and God honoring, but they are not the only "ministers" in the world.

For the Christian laity...God's presence matters, because there may be moments in which God desires us to act and to do great things, but we are to weak and shaky from fulfill the action to perfection, because we are not relying on God or listening to his instruction. We can live lives full of joy and abundance, but not because we have money, or nice things. Only the presence of God can truly satisfy us and bring us life.

A Horrifyingly Beautiful Reality...

Something that has been quite a "slap in the face" for me recently is the fact that I am human...just a another man on God's green Earth. Why? Well...allow me to explain.

In the midst of a world gone mad, I find myself faced with a diverse collection of troubles and stress-filled situations and tasks. I'm sure that there are many out there who can relate to my previous sentence, and many might shout out a hearty "Amen!" in response, but it is not the troubles and task that I wish address here. My focus is on the condition of my soul in light of such things, and my reaction to them in light of the fact that I am but a human. My tendency is to think that I should have everything together, and that any confusion, doubt, anger, frustration, etc. are all a sign of weakness and/or inferiority. These feelings only magnify the issues already at hand and make them harder and harder to deal with, as well as provoking me from thinking clearly and accurately. 

Here's the saving grace...I'm reminded that I'm human and that I can't be perfect, and I can't handle every situation with flawless wisdom and poise. Doesn't sound all that reassuring? Well think about it this way...since I am human and incapable of perfect, then I can not expect myself to be so. God demands that we try to live holy, not that we make the best decision every time. God doesn't expect us to be able to handle everything flawlessly or with a smile on our faces...why do we? The best part is that since I'm the human, I can rely on God to help me with my problems...though I don't always see Him working, and I certainly don't always hear His voice, I can rest assured the Most Gracious and Most Merciful God who sent Christ to die for me isn't going to just leave me to face my troubles alone. Though He may let me appear to be alone for a time or He might challenge me or push me to try and face  situations head on, He will always be there in the end to see me through. Why? Because the horrifyingly beautiful reality is that I'm human, the most cherished and beloved of all of God's fallen creation...and to me, that's a very comforting thought. 

"Be Present"

Recently, I attended a leadership conference called "Catalyst". The primary theme of this year's conference was "Be Present". While the speakers themselves had very little to say that was mind blowing or theologically shattering...the theme itself, however, was quite thought provoking. Be present...be here..."are you paying attention?"

We are surrounded by people in our day to day activities...unless you are someone who lives in backwoods Georgia and chooses to deprive yourself of all human interaction, in which case I highly doubt that you're reading this blog in the first place. Our lives are constantly overlapping and even colliding into one another, therefore creating a vast web of action and reaction and re-reaction that cannot possibly be fathomed by the human mind due to lack of knowledge and mental prowess. I find that often in my life, people come and go without so much as an acknowledgment that they were there to begin with. Now, I realize that we cannot possibly have full interaction with each and every person that we come across or that has momentarily entered the storybook of our lives, but what about those who are here in a more semi-permanent basis like our friends and family? I say "semi-permanent" only to say that even they are only temporary...all too easily severed from us by disaster or natural causes...but we can make the most of the time that we are given to be with them. Are you paying attention? Are you here? Are you "present"? Your presence matters...

In the lives of our friends and family...are we active? Are we engaged? Do we partake in the joys, the sufferings, the sorrows, the burning moment of passion and/or anger alongside those we love and adore? How about those who have no one to show them love...will you? Those in need of support...will you comfort them? Is your brother suffering and you unaware of it? Is your friend crying out for help in the loneliness of her bedroom with no one there to snatch her from despair? Are you paying attention? Are you present? Your presence matters...

Each and every day we are given the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others, whether it be for good or for ill. I personally desire to bring life to those in darkness...to live life to the fullest and to pour myself out so that other may have life all in thanks to the Father of Lights who has given us life. There are many out there who seek to do good for others out of selfishness, to gain a good reputation or to "earn favor" from God (assuming that is even possible). Let us not be this way, let us do good for the sake of bringing life to others; let us live and live well, engaging with the world around us that we might honor God who gave us our lives to begin with and gave the gift of community and fellowship.